9 at Midnight

Where I was at 12:30 am this morning:

Karis's floor. With Trev in between me and Karis's bed. Watching Karis try to fall back asleep, because apparently daddy being on the floor just isn't enough at the moment (can you tell by my tone that this development is not evoking enthusiasm - from anyone but Karis, that is. I am open to rebuke or advice).

Things I was thinking about at 12:30 am this morning:

- It's our anniversary, 9 years today. I'm so thankful! Oh Trevor - you're the best. I'll save the moosh for a card, but wow are you a gift from God to me.

- Trying to remember where we were/what we were doing on our anniversaries the past 4 years. (I have this to help me remember all the ones before that). Pregnant with Karis 4 years ago, we were at a B&B in Stillwater. Last year we enjoyed a picnic by Lake of the Isles. The years before that I'm going to look back on our calendars to remember

- I was thinking about my friend, K, who had many sleepless nights when her daughter was 3 and her son was under a year

- I was thinking about the Laura Story song, "Blessings" (which aforementioned K referenced in a Christmas letter after a year of sleepless nights)

- Remembering the concept of "soul fever", very aptly described in the book Simplicity Parenting. We're both coming off of a wonderful 10 day excursion to a lake-side reunion and then a week in ND. We were lavished with love in beautiful ways, and Karis didn't even get the opportunity for a rest time the whole trip. She was a champ! But I do see the same look she had shortly after we moved (crazy tired eyes, nail biting, floppy movements). Laying there last night I was thinking that maybe the mid-night outbursts are her sideways attempt at reconnecting with me - I try all day long to cuddle, read books, welcome her into what I'm doing. But maybe those are ways that serve me instead of her. Anyways, I was thinking about how I can respond to these little unexpected and rather unwelcome interruptions (sleep, precious sleep) with grace and love. What kind of "middle of the night mom" do I want to be - am I called to be right now?

- I'm  not sure how Trevor has slept on her floor for months, but I'm sure thankful for his willingness to do so

Karis was asleep by 2am - yes, 2am. Judah up at 12, 4 & 5:30. Sigh. K, are you reading this? Are you caught up on sleep a couple years later?!

I opened this empty page yesterday, feeling like I had nothing to write . . .  and then wouldn't you know, something good came out of being up from 12 - 2 am last night.

And wouldn't you know, Jesus Calling this morning talked about blessings from trials, just like the Laura Story song (and trust me,  I realize my trials are small. So very, very small). 

And wouldn't you know, today really did feel special. I'm realizing the moments that spur growth are so worth any momentary discomfort (ask me if I feel that way in the middle of the night. Not so much).

Today's celebration was sweet, we hit another milestone in leaving both kids with neighbor teenagers while we went for dinner to the Sunshine Factory (a place we visited probably 12 years ago on a trip to the cities while we were in college. Ah, memories). Everyone had a great time, even the teenagers. Please let me remember to make this date-thing a habit.

Karisisms:
- "I want to get out of the broken traffic"
- "I'm thankful for daddy . . . ." (proceeded to list of things that I do for her, but thanking Trevor for them. What?! Trevor asked her "Karis, are you thankful that daddy makes you dinner every night, too?" We laughed pretty hard)
- "I work at the Mall of America. At the Build a Bear Workshop"
- "I'm going to work!" (armed with her crayola lunchbox)

Judah updates:
- He sometimes laughs at Karis when they're both in their carseats. LOVE this
- He sometimes blows raspberries. DOUBLE LOVE this
- He can talk up a storm and can seem so serious in what he's trying to communicate
- He is still my squishy baby, just a little marshmallow love
- His naps are awesome, he goes in his crib fully awake and falls asleep quickly
- His eyes are on Karis at all times if she's in the room

Post anniversary date, successful on all accounts