Well, we moved. It happened! I sometimes still walk around our house wondering if this is all truly real . . . we love being here, and are slowly settling in. I was thinking about our moving week and in some ways it felt like a wedding: lots of people working together for this one event, so many people blessing us in various ways, God providing just what we needed when we needed it. I also likened the last couple days before closing date to a marathon, and even said out loud to my mom: "It's like approaching the finish line, sometimes you p**p your pants but the feeling of joy and relief when you cross the line is still awesome". There was no p**p involved, but we did have quite the week of last minute shopping for a washer and dryer, Karis up for hours in the middle of the night after not wanting to go to bed, last minute packing boxes.
And really, there were specific gifts to each day that week: a friend brought a new CD and danced and laughed with Karis while I packed a couple boxes. A family had us over to their lovely home for dinner and playing with their dear daughters, a friend gave us enough soup (like, best soup I've ever had) to last through the week, friends came over one morning to help clear out our fridge and listen to my Karis-not-sleeping woes and offer empathy and suggestions, Trev's aunt and uncle came and helped us with final packing details - AND helped with Karis while we closed AND helped us move in. My fabulous new sister-in-law-to-be (congrats to D & M!) had the kids and me to her place on moving day so we could stay rested and safe. Myriad friends helped on moving day and they got it ALL in one trip. Crazy! It was all truly beautiful. Trevor planned the work and worked the plan, I'm so proud of him. We're so grateful.
We've already loved having my mom and grandma visit (and help tremendously while Trev traveled, wonderful to make memories here with 4 generations of females taking over the casa. We had a blast), many friends over to run around, and Trev's parents were here last weekend and lightened things up greatly here.
Now Trev's getting over pneumonia and Karis croup. We are SO excited for spring.
Parenting lately has been humbling and interesting - I read a quote recently that "families are God's classroom." Yup, we're learning a lot. About letting go of expectations, being flexible, letting a lot of things go, living in the moment, claiming joy. Karis is delightful, and she has endured lots of little-world-rocking change: brother, house, lots of people coming and going. Trevor now sleeps on her floor, which is what gets us all rest. Well, it gets them rest, ha - Judah and I are up quite a bit! But in the grand picture, wow, these things are "the small stuff" and I was glad for a reminder from my dad to "not sweat the small stuff". Takes discipline to do that, and that's okay. I feel like I need to lighten up, which takes some intentionality. So, for today, my lighten up effort will be to: go into Karis's room for Monkey Monday acting like a monkey. Dance with her in the play room. Get something messy and try to not care.
Parenting consumes my thoughts and actions twenty four hours a day right now. I took K to the pediatrician last week to make sure she didn't have a lingering ear infection (really, I was probably looking for a reason for the acting out, and the screaming in the middle of the night!). Super healthy girl (thankfully) and the doc gave me some good prescriptions: time for myself one night a week (i.e. be gone at bedtime), alone time with Karis in the evening . . . yes, please, to both! It was good to just chat with someone and receive some affirmation about the things we're trying. The thing I'm realizing is that we're establishing habits all the time, some good and some bad. And when I realize the bad ones, the change has to start with US as the adults. Humbling, challenging, growing. Thankfully there's a million chances a day to try new things. Thankfully there is loads of grace for everyone. I believe these are God's children, entrusted to our care. Putting that belief into practice by sincerely trusting and letting go, that's a bit more difficult.
I took my couple hours out alone (well, with Judah) last week to run an errand and then get coffee. A cashier looked at Judah and said how excited she was to have kids - to which I'm still analyzing my reaction: almost started crying, gushed about how amazing parenthood is . . . then found myself wanting to cry (mostly in a good way) about how absolutely life changing it is. I mean, I was on my "break" but all I could think about was Karis: are they having fun? Will she go to bed all right? Does she know she's safe and loved and that we want the absolute best for her? Are we setting the right limits between grace and boundaries?
So yeah, I almost cried in front of this sweet cashier, and then went to have a cup of coffee and try to read a fun book but continued to think about my children and parenting. Eventually these thoughts lead to prayer and surrender - maybe eventually I'll arrive at that solution sooner. All in all, it's so amazing to know the beauty of life through these experiences, to know my limitations and weaknesses, to know God's grace and strength and perspective.
Karis-isms
- "I don't want him to do the hot burn again!" (at Osaka, a hibachi grill place where they cook in front of you - flames included)
- "If I eat all this rice, I might be full and get a headache"
- "This is my winter modesty dress. I needed one!"
- "Mommy, should we take an airplane to Bismarck and have dinner there tonight?"
- "Mommy, let's play airplane!"
- "Look at my tattoo!"
- "Daddy, read about the sheep!" (every night, she wants Trevor to tell her the parable of the lost sheep)
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