Birthday Girl

I don't know how a birthday could spread out any further. Why not? For the record, Karis is already talking about her 7th birthday. 

But, just so she remembers 6 in journal form, here is the tell is as it is (hoping that someday Karis will enjoy reading this). 

The party started with a Perkins breakfast with the Pope/DeKrey clan in Duluth where we were gathered for a wedding weekend -  sprinkle pancakes & a candle-lit cookie and a shy, tired girl just getting into party mode.

(a week early) Friend party! Little Mermaid. Pink cupcakes with green frosting/pearls. Capri Sun and candy and chips and grapes and cheese sticks. Simple. Laid back (no, not laid back - just, not scheduled with games or anything) time of play and treats and outside running around. Lovely time of connecting for all ages, it was special to see what amazing friends Karis has and how they fully entered into the joy of the day - not to mention the awesome moms who appreciate her for who she is. So much love. And also generous gifts, I was really amazed and grateful for all the expressions of gracious hearts. Oh, and the forecast was for seriously almost guaranteed rain - it cleared off in time to load up the plates and have all 17 kids and their mommas outside. Amazing. Special to the occasion was that cousin Courtney was there.

That week ended with a gma/gpa visit - a morning arrival with sweet & generous gifts, received a yum and gorgeous cake from Bis, then a trip to Millenium Gardens, Big Bowl/Lunds, rest in front of Anastasia . . . breakfast the next day at D & M's, dinner all together at The Old Spaghetti factory (cotton candy drink! Ariel balloon! Tummy ache!). Countless memories made, savoring every one.

Next was the pre-birthday party at Uncle S & Aunt D's to celebrate all August Pope birthdays (there are 3!). Super fun, Karis felt very celebrated and I hope Steve & Kate did, too.

THE day was a gorgeous (hot) one, and all went according to plan with some sweet surprises thrown in.

- Breakfast in bed (lucky charms, flowers and a pack of gum on the side)
- Face-timed with grandparents, so fun
- Harvested her first yellow tomato (on the plant that she considers "hers")
- Received a recorder, little tambourine, Pippi Longstocking
- My parents found a crazy deal on coffee(and are going to share the bounty here - oh, thank you), because moms needs birthday treats too
- While playing at French Park with some pals, ran into the wife of a former coworker of Trev's. Fun to catch up
-  Karis wanted to read Runny Babbit, and we stumbled on an apt story (picture below)
- Lots of watermelon and cake
- Cousin Courtney dropped off a card and stayed for some coffee and chats
- THE EXPO! Met dear friends for an epic event in Plymouth for National Night out. They kids went in a: helicopter, firetruck, school bus, SWAT vehicle, held a firehouse, filled a bag with goodies, and gathered material for lively conversation for years to come. So special.
- Bummer, Trev home sick/working in bed. Upside, he was home . . . and able to join us to have Q Doba at home
- A random read of Becky's Birthday by Tasha Tudor, a super story set in August. One of my fave parts is when Becky picks flowers for her parents (I do think birthdays are also for parents, after all)
- The week continued in celebratory spirit with a Parker's Lake playdate, extravagant birthday picnic provided by our dear neighbor friends at Weaver Lake (swimming included), and a little adventure to Westwood nature center
- And the post-party was when more Gma Gpa love arrived for partying and gifts and even a special talent show led by our very own Special K (with a "REAL microphone!" at Steve/Deb's home. It was very impromptu, well done, confidently delivered, engaging and invigorating)

Karis - you are a joy bringer! I love who you are. Your name means "Grace" or "Gift", you live those words every day. Your expressions of love are pure - you run up to me with hugs, you treat your brother with the fruits of the spirit, you are thoughtful and vibrant and kind to everyone you meet. Your imagination is deep, and you welcome others into your creations. You often talk and sing to yourself and seem so comfortable with your own company. You engage others with insightful and relevant questions, you make others feel loved and special. You love to have people over any time of day, you greet the neighbors any chance you can, your zest for life is contagious. You're eager always to hear our plans for each week - especially when they involve friends. You're quite the party planner and your ideas evolve and happen and make memories for many. 

I wish I could go back and see you at every age and stage . . .  I LOVE that you are growing, learning, thriving. And yet what I would give to hold you again for the first time. It's one of life's most humble gifts to your mother, to get to spend the days with you, to watch who you are becoming. You are special, beautiful, loved. The rare times that I put you to bed (lately this is your special time with daddy), I whisper into your ear gifts you've been given, ways that you are special - I will never run out of things to say. I pray you'll always know you are the one and only ever you - and that YOU are dearly loved and deeply beautiful just as you are. Always and forever. No matter what.

Recent images of Karis & a day in her life:

Watching her set out her clothes for the Duluth wedding . . . carefully behind the rocker in her room: polka dot dress, zebra tights, toms shoes. A little bowl with water and a washcloth ready to wash her face when she woke up.

At her six year well check, chatting with her doctor with enthusiasm and receiving shots with hardly a flinch.

She sets up little stations in her room that are ever changing. A recent delight is two "beanie balls" from Grandma Carole that she takes good care of - they have telephones through which she can reach them at all times (empty toilet paper tubes with Lisa Frank stickers on them). Ozzie & Owlie have play dates and food, take naps and talk. I'm grateful she's let me enter this world and consults me on their care - ha! 

Crying for about a half hour when Trevor left for a weekend bachelor party. I love seeing her feel deeply, she has a lot of love in her heart.

Her passion for party planning - recently an end of summer make up party she and some dear friends have been dreaming about for many months. 

She talks about Christmas almost every day, and has been crafting gifts for all the grandparents. 

She is beyond sweet and patient with Judah. Recently we woke him up from a nap and he went to give her a hug - the look on her face, she just melted. 

Karis, a day in your life is pretty sweet. You wake up around 6:15 and you love to have time in your room until seven-zero-zero (usually we're together by 6:45, getting ready in the bathroom). Sometimes I bring up a little cup of Lucky Charms for you to enjoy, you love that. We cuddle in your rocker and read from Jesus Storybook Bible and pray for the fruits of the Spirit before getting Judah up a little after 7 (we need them). You either pull a stool into his room or play in your room while he slowly adjusts to the day in his rocker/my lap. You and Judah go down the stairs on your bellies for breakfast (you love hot buttered honey toast) and "morning work" (helping unload the dishwasher). You lead Judah in playing many games . . . "slip slide in your socks", jump in the trampoline with legos (it's loud), play in cozy corners behind chairs, go in the backyard. We usually have an outing/play date from about 9 - 11:30, when we get home you zip up to your room to organize whatever treasures you gathered on our outing (such as random cardboard from Costco, stickers or little trinkets friends pass along to you). We get lunch ready and eat outside on the deck steps while I sit between you and Judah and read books (you love cheesy rice, nachos, quesadillas, melon of any kind, milk, green beans - you eat most anything). While Judah naps, you: have "work time" where you usually paint or draw or create crafts. Then we read together for about 45 minutes in the wing chair - you want me to put my arm around you. We read from "the reading book", which is sometimes fun and sometimes not but you always want to do it (you're learning so much, it's amazing to watch it all click). Then we "read Laura" (whatever Little House book we're on, you love this) and random picture books like Milly Molly Mandy, Babar, Frances.  You next enjoy movie & treat time - usually licorice or some other sweet treat while watching Mr. Rogers or Creative Galaxy or Winnie the Pooh. We often squeeze in a game of bingo before getting Judah up. Lots of outside time (your recent fave is the kiddie pool) or another play date, bath, dinner (you love meat and potatoes, noodles, corn on the cob and dessert of any kind), "first vitamin", time upstairs with daddy and Judah, bedtime routine (you and me in the rocker for our little routine, then daddy lays and reads with you and lays there for a few minutes). You seem to love the rhythm of the day and knowing what's coming next. We still cuddle at bedtime and I trust you will be in my lap for many years to come, you love to snuggle (you're increasingly cuddly). 

Some non birthday inner stuff: 

In one day I read 2 such similar things in different places that I guess I need to pay attention . . . 

"Don't be a victim of the urgent. In the long run, much of what seems so pressing right now won't even matter. What you do with your children will matter forever . . . " (from The Five Love Languages of Children)

"Said the Robin to the Sparrow, 

'I should really like to know

Why these anxious human beings

Rush about and hurry so.'

"Said the Sparrow to the Robin, 

'Friend, I think that it must be

That they have no Heavenly Father

Such as cares for you and me.'"

- Elizabeth Cheney, 1859 (quoted in Thoughts to Make Your Heart Sing)

There must be a metaphor here somewhere . . . 

In May a friend brought over a plant with beautiful pink flowers - so I potted it in the backyard, and it keeps looking like it's totally done and then I water it anyway indefinitely and sure enough flowers appear at random times. It's gone through a few cycles of this, and it's just beautiful to me and has been a small delight this summer.

Moms need assistants, or something  . . .

It's been a bit of a self-care summer here. Small things, such as I hadn't been to the dentist in a really really long time and finally did. We crossed of physicals, dentist, dermatologist, hair cuts. Satisfying. I've been reminded recently (in some reading, yes) that parents ideally should set the example of "my kids aren't the center of the universe" . . . and "our kids need to see that we respect ourselves and have boundaries too - to take care of ourselves". I doubt I'm the only one who finds this harder than it seems it should be. I read in two different places this week the reminder of balance and self care being for parents setting an example for children to follow/respect. I hadn't considered that view in a while - to set the example of self-care/self-respect for the sake of my children. That they might learn the same for themselves someday. Hmmm. Makes me feel good about this season of going to bed early/getting up early (for the quiet, the caffeine, the endorphins) and then doing some mommy lay down time in the afternoon. The idea of self care always feel so - selfie - but is increasingly necessary. 

A random quote from a big summer read, The Count of Monte Cristo . . .

"Ah, maternal love is a great virtue, a powerful motive - so powerful that it excuses a multitude of things . . . "

A couple little reminders this week: 

"If you catch yourself becoming frustrated because your toddlers are being naughty and won't allow you to check them off and move on to other important tasts, it's time to pull out the most lethal punishments. This could mean tackling them and kissing them all over their bodies, pausing long enough to particularly persecute them on their tummies. Or it could mean tormenting them with a good dose of Tickle Torture. Or you may just have to grab them and hug them until they beg and squeal for mercy. Above all, thank God for the prividlege of being a parent . . ."

"God can use our weaknesses, whether or not we feel we're being effective parents. But that still doesn't make the process easy . . . " (Creative Correction)

I love when friends tell me back things I've told them. That happened this week, and I am re-instituting my mantra that we are all the ones we need in each other's lives: I am the mom my kids need, the wife Trevor needs. He is the husband I need, my kids are the ones I need. To live in a safe place together where we make mistakes and learn, where we laugh and cry and repair and rejoice. We are not perfect, we are iron sharpening iron, and we are all on this journey together. I am truly grateful and humbled-every-day to be experiencing life in this way. 

Karis-isms: 

- "I can't wait to watch the cul-de-sac fill up with cars!" (for her friend b-day party)
- "I hope I feel special and loved" (when I asked her what she hoped for on her b-day)
- "Well . . . I won't really turn six until this afternoon"
- "Am I six yet?" (asked at the exact moment of her birth time)
- "Mommy I think I like the cards the best . . . because I can see if there's money in them!"
- "My favorite part was watching everyone eat their huge blow pop suckers. And the presents"
- "Oh, that wind must be from the north!"
- "I bet there are pink cats in Disney World"
- "Look! I'm strong like Pippi Longstocking!" (while carrying her bike)
- "Oh don't worry, mommy, we DID plant something I like to eat. I just LOVE basil" (that sweet girl)
- "Yeah, she said she even takes a little bit of your pee and tests it - I do NOT want to be one of those, that sounds like a disgusting job" (talking about my cousin who is a phlebotomist)
- "I'm drawing a duck and those bubbles above her head are her thinking about her babies" (so sweet, pic below)
- "Daddy Andy says he uses the yankers to pull teeth out!" (i.e. pliers)
- "What's all the cryin' about?"
- "Sorry Ozzie, I can't bring you sweet corn right now" (reference above telephone activity with beanie balls)
- "Can I take a toothpick upstairs so I can give Ozzie a shot?"
- "Momma, I like brothers, but sometimes they're just so crazy around me"
- "I heard you telling Judah that I'm a good big sister"
- "Mom! Last night I dreamed about Laura and Mary, that we went to McDonalds with them and had french fries and burgers!" 
- "How exactly do people die?"
- "Why exactly can we not put plastic bags over our head?"
- "Mommy, what's your favorite part of Winnie the Pooh?"
- "Look mom, I made my sweater into a leash for my lion!" (so inventive)
- "Yeah mom, pirates eat cardboard!" (playing with cardboard in the kiddie pool. Whatever makes you happy, kids . . . )
- "I love winning, momma. It's my favorite thing"
- "I don't know why they call them cowboys, they ride horses so they should call them horse boys"
- "I wish I was in a land where I could sew all I wanted and didn't have to thread my needles"
- "Mommy, what do you think Ozzie should have for dinner?" I answered "tomatoes". She replied, "I don't have tomatoes I only have chicken and corn on the cob" (the only play food she had relocated to her room)


Judah jibes:
- "Two HUGE fingers! Mommy, Judah both have FINGERS!"
- "Other one crabapples! Put in the car!" (new game, finding crabapples and putting them in the trunk of his little coupe)
- "Probably throw it!" (a new addition to bedtime routine, he throws his blanket when I turn out the light and then says "Mommy get it!")
- "Hold mommy's make up!"
- "Little man make Judah HUGE puppy balloon!" (Old Spaghetti Factory)
- "Little man jump in the POOL!"
- "Tiger ride!" (nightly tradition with Trevor)
- "Dinnerrrrrrrrrrr!" (as he literally skips to the table for dinner. He and Karis sit on stools beside each other, love it)
- "Other one Corduroy music! Other one Caps for Sale!" (books on tape we continually listen to in the car. Continually)
- "Judah like a baby!" (wants me to carry him like a baby)
- "Read Thank you God! Read Rhymes!" (latest fave books)
- "There's no bee, mommy"
- "Pretend bee on the box"
- "It's a boat potato! It's a boat graham cracker! It's a boat cheese!" (pretends his bitten food is a boat)
- "No eat cookie in bed!" (and he didn't - the cookie I gave him on the way to nap stayed half eaten on his night stand)
- "Close it far as it goes!" (when zipping up my sweatshirt)
- "Friends came Judah house make up party. Pink krispy bar!" (he quite enjoyed a movie and outside time - and did want to put on a dress at the end of it all)
- "Hi Mommy" (said so sweetly when I went in one night when he was banging on the door with his feet . . . his way of saying "please come in here and change my dirty diaper before I go to sleep")

Weaver Lake

Fire hose

Westwood Nature Center

Zoolander face at well checks

These are the Days of Their Lives

Are you reeeeeeeeeaaadyyyyyyyy?! We used to ask Karis that q at Judah's age, so of course we now ask Judah all the time. 

Well, if you are ready, the following is a mix of quotes from readings, updates, all things children. 


From the Jesus Storybook Bible - really hit me one morning here, we can all be like children. And might I always listen to my children's chats, to have open arms. And might I always know I have that place to go, too: 

". . . . Or . . . would you have done just what these children did - run straight up to Jesus and let him pick you up  in his arms and swing you and kiss you and hug you and then sit you on his lap and listen to your stories and your chats? You see, children loved Jesus, and they knew they didn't need to do anything special for Jesus to love them. All they needed to do was run into their arms. And so that's just what they did."

A few updates for record keeping: 

• As of 8/2 Judah is in a bed. I'm not sure how often he sleeps in it, though. Sometimes I go to wake him up from naptime and I run into his sleeping little body by the door. Sweet guy. He still looks at the bed with curious eyes, I suspect he misses his little crib jail. He also refuses to say "good night", and instead ends the day saying "Hi, Judah!"

• As of 8/4 Karis is six. Separate post to come . . . of course

• Cousin Courtney Camp: we loved having her with us for many days of exploring and sticking close to home and togetherness. Coffee at Milton's, exploring at French Park, Elm Creek, Nadia's cakes, dinners in, Gold Medal Park & Izzy's, Minnehaha Falls and Sea Salt (she and Trev). So super, we adore her. 

• Music Man: I got to be a daughter for a day and went to the Guthrie for a Matinee with my parents. So delightful, hopefully a new tradition of theater going together in the summer.

• Karis is busy creating always, spirograph, drawing, her own version of paper mache by getting toilet paper wet and/or painting it and then wrapping it around empty bottles or rocks. Making masks. Preparing Christmas gifts. Seriously.  She is hilariously crafty.

• One cozy afternoon the kids cuddled up to read Amos & Boris . . . and it is the first book that made Karis cry. I felt so sad with her, and melted seeing her sensitive heart (and I think she really just needed a good cry). I will always remember that. I have vivid memories of crying at books (hmm, that doesn't happen anymore)

• A recent Sunday afternoon tradition for Karis and Trev is going to Caribou to read Pippi Longstocking. She counts on this now and when they get home she runs in the door bursting to tell me of Pippi's latest antics (lifting horses! thieves!) . I will never tire. 

• Winnie the Pooh is a big deal around here - i.e. the 2011 movie version. We all adore the characters and it's one of the few movies that has captivated all four of us. Karis walks around singing "honey . . . honey honey honey honeyyyyyyyyy". Love.

• We enjoyed an August afternoon with Great Grandma Carole, here for a chartered bus trip from Bismarck. Lunch and Trader Joes and TV watching from under the covers in her hotel room. Super sweet.

• Teaching Sunday school one Sunday in a "Helping Hands" summer series - little hands helped to make butterfly snack bags for children of the Greater Minneapolis Crisis Nursery. Nursery care has become so dear to our fam, and to think of these precious children who receive days-long shelter was humbling to learn about and then share with others. Memorable to the teaching time was my sweet sidekick, Karis - she helped set up and got up in front of everyone when it was time to explain the snack bag assembly. Moments to remember.

• Daily things that make me smile: tomatoes growing on the vine outside. Watching the kids when Trev walks in the door at night. Judah throwing sand into lake water. Karis creating during "work time". Monster cookies during movie time. Suckers at Trader Joes ("thank you little man sucker!"). Louis Armstrong station on Pandora. Going to bed early. The kids riding bike in the cul-de-sac. Cool enough temps to don a hoodie.

And now, THE books here lately. Oh, the books. These developmental books (one for each age) by Louise Ames Bates - they are gold, I tell you. They make me feel . . . normal. They help me understand my children. They make me laugh in their accuracy. Many may seem negative - but really, they are just explanative of stages. I love who my children are, I love learning about their growth points from these points of view. 

On being 6 (from Your Six Year Old, Loving and Defiant by Louise Bates Ames):

"the six year old is wonderfully complex and intriguing, but life can be complicated for him at times, and what she needs most in the world is parents who understand her"

"one of the things that makes life difficult for her is that, as earlier at 2.5, she seems to live at opposite extremes" (my stomach lurched at this one - see 2.5 quotes below)

"she can be, part of the time, difficult and demanding because she is still, even at this relatively mature age, extremely insecure, and her emotional needs are great"

"one of the six year old's biggest challenges is her relationship with her mother. It gives her the greatest pleasure and greatest pain. Most adore their mother . . . . at the same time, whenever things go wrong, they take things out on her. At five, mother was the center of the child's universe. At six, the child is now the center of her own universe. She wants to be first and best. She wants to win, she wants to have the most of everything. Six is beginning to separate from her mother. Six is typically embroiled with her mother. She depends on her so much, and yet part of her wishes she didn't"

"it is an interesting fact about child behavior that the less praise and credit a child deserves, the more he wants and needs. . . if you can meet these [emotional needs] nobody can be a better, warmer, more enthusiastic companion than your six year old"

"the child of this age is really a very vulnerable little person, sensitive emotionally . . . which is why she needs so very much protection and understanding from her parents. One of her most endearing qualities is her extreme enthusiasm - for new games, adventures, new ideas. She loves to be read to and to learn about new things"

"Her enthusiasm is contagious . . . it is a pleasure to provide for her opportunities to feed her very real need for the new and exciting"

"Six may be very bossy with younger siblings"

"many six year olds love to eat . . . their eyes may be bigger than their stomachs, so they help themselves to more food than they can actually eat"

"even if the day has been tangled, she likes bedtime as a making-up time with mother. Even a most unhappy day can be rounded off happily by a nice conversation with her" (YES, and thank God this is so true)

"customary tensional outlets range all the way from wriggling to kicking to swinging of arms" (I call this "Karis is floppy" - and it definitely has been happening more lately)

"facial grimaces, sometimes almost ticlike in nature, are frequent, and many make numerous, irritating throaty noises or throat clearing" (um, yes - also sniffing, lots of sniffing)

"to add to all this, many children of this age become suddenly clumsy" (no kidding, this is seriously happening! She falls, bumps, skids, trips daily)

"[the technique of] giving in  can provide a wonderfully welcome relief to an embattled mother and child. . . sometimes you find yourself giving orders or making rules about things that don't really matter" (no kidding)

"loud silly showing off and total deafness to your suggestions may occur whenever company comes - she wants to be the life of the party she is likely to interrupt whatever an adult is saying, and she likes to show off her gymnastic abilities" (yes, and in fairness I remember being like this to a t)

"all in all, a mother or a father may find that the very best technique is to go a little easy on this poorlittle fellow is often so very hard on herself"

"indoors she tries to balance and catch, outdoors she tries stunts on a trapeze bar (yes, yes, yes)

"she enjoys the process of creating quite as much as the product" (yes)

"she shows marked interest in hearing about her own and her mother's babyhood"

"she not only likes to think about the holidays but has some idea of the seasons and what each brings" (Karis daily talks about both seasons and Christmas)

"as always, six is at her best with the adult if full attention is being paid to her" (indeed, we do savor Judah's nap time)

"life is seldom dull for the parents of a six year old" (!!!! when has life EVER been dull for parents of children of any age????)



On  being (and having) a 2.5 year old (from Your Two Year Old, Terrible or Tender)

"life can be so smooth and delightful with the two year old that it may be quite a jolt when he turns 2.5 and all too often becomes tense, explosive, and rigid. . . violent, demanding, and explosive emotions often take over"

"He is made up of extremes . . . he may disrupt parental harmony by pitting Mother against Father. The person he wants is whatever person is not available at the moment . . . "

". . . and when things go well, he is, above all, so appreciative and so loving that it can be a treat to spend time in his company . . . he is often putting two and two together to a far greater extent than one's casual observation may make evident"

"this is an age when conflict with the parent may be so extreme that it may be wise for someone other than the parent to take over, at least for part of the time"

"it helps to remember the child is bossy and demanding not because he is sure, but because he is unsure. The world still seems big to him . . . if he can command even a small part of it (his parents), it helps him to feel secure"

"avoid any expectation that all daily routines will go smoothly. Even if YOU do your best, your child will not always cooperate fully"

"do not be surprised if you are unduly fatigued at the end of the day"

"refuse to get mixed up in your child's 'mommy do - daddy do' routine, which may be so strong at 2.5."

"the nap can be the high point of the day for many mothers . . . 2.5 year olds now climb out of their cribs, and this may have to be accepted. The child may be cranky upon waking"

"'no' is another much used word, and its use is increased if you unwittingly ask a question that can be answered in the negative"

"many seemingly aggressive approaches (in play) are not actually aggressive - it's just that children want what they want and, if necessary, hit, push, struggle to get it"

"older siblings are told not to grab his toys, and to let him play with them . . . parents are, as a rule, quick to protect the 2 year old's rights"

"it's best to concentrate not on the habit itself, but on the tensions that produce it" (um, the hour long tantrums upon waking up?!)

"you have merely to make any wish or plan of your own known, and he sets his wish or plan against it"

"the upward path of growing is not always smooth, and there will inevitably be some times when any child is somewhat tangled within himself and somewhat difficult in his relationships with those around him"

"you need to recognize that a child of this age tends to be at his worst (or at his best) with his mother. And no matter how well you discipline, this kind of behavior is likely to occur"


Willa Cather (oh such a fave) quotes about being young, being female (and another about miracles, and another about being sick in bed) from Shadows on the Rock: 

From Shadows on the Rock - an apt quote about growing up (by Willa Cather - a true fave)
"Oh, everything we do, my father and I, is a kind of play" . . .

he [the man this girl was talking to] gave a dry chuckle. "Well said! Everything we do is. It gets rather tiresome - but not at your age, perhaps."

"The people have loved miracles for so many hundred years, not as proof or evidence, but because they are the actual flowering of desire. IN them the vague worship and devotion of the simple-hearted assumes a form. From being a shapeless longing, it becomes a beautiful image; a dumb rapture becomes a melody that can be remembered and repeated; and the experience of a moment, which might have been a lost ecstasy, is made an actual possession and be bequeathed to another"

"From the beginning women understand devotion, it is a natural grace with them; they have only to learn where to direct it. Men have to learn everything"

"That was the important thing - tranquillity . . . it was a pleasant and novel experience to lie warm in bed while her father was getting dinner int he kitchen, and to feel no responsibility at all . . ." (said from an ill child's perspective)

Karis-isms: 

- "Oh yeah, you guys can just use that door knob thing like you did for me! Judah's younger so it'll work for him. I just put my hand inside and got the door knob to turn so it didn't work for me" (first time we heard this confession)
- "Hey Judah, wanna play Cowgirl Kate and Cocoa?!" (a book we enjoy - Cocoa is a horse. You can guess who plays Cocoa)
- "Oh Judah, it's such a gloomy day. What do you want to do?"
- "Judah, can you practice your manners? Say please, thank you, excuse me!"
- "I do NOT like eggplant" -when I asked her how she knows if she hasn't tried it. . . - "Because, it has eggs in it!"
- "I'm not scared at all!" (said while clinging to/almost falling from the nets at French Park - in a tone that sounded like she was trying to convince herself. Brave girl!)
- "Oh, I gotta go get my fly swapper!"
- She is my backseat driver. Perhaps one day I will look back and think these phrases were adorable: "Mommy, are your brake lights on. Mommy, everyone's lights are on, do you have your lights on. Mommy, do you see the stop sign? Mommy, go the speed limit!"
- "I'll bring MY laundry basket in HERE. I like to do my OWN laundry"
- "OH NOOOOOOO, JUDAH GOT MY _________________ AND . . . . !!!!!!!!" (well, sibling stuff had to surface eventually, right?)
- "Daddy, what do you think I should wear tomorrow?" (melting moment, I overheard this while walking upstairs to help with bedtime)
- "No Judah, I'm not up for that right now!"
- "Mommy, did you see Liam's dad has grown up tattoos?" (we now know about tattoos, the permanent variety)
- "My favorite animals are flamingos and hippos because they're pink and purple"

Judah Jibes:

- He loves to sing "Happy Birthday" (they practice a lot)
- "Chop chop TIMBER!" (watching a tree being cut down in our cul-de-sac)
- "Boat motor fan goes fast!" (always new ways to talk about boats)
- "Sunscreen on arms"
- "Judah climb out crib"
- "Judah climb in bed"
- "Order food. Cook it." (restaurant vernacular)
- "Little man jump in water. Hold fire house. Helicopter, sooooo fast!"
- "Judah's plump!" (as in, lip gloss that he thinks looks like a plum - and it does. So he eats it. Then it goes in the garbage)
- "Purple cheerios!" (lucky charms)
- "Turtle in the water" (talking about Westwood Nature Center)
- "Lee bring donuts!" (thanks, Lee!)
- "Judah's fresh tomatoes!" (picking green cherry ones off the vine, of course)
- "See the buffalo! Caterpillars turn into butterflies!" (fave Noah's Ark book by Jan Brett)
- "Keep track of it!" (said to him many times a day when I hand him whatever is precious at the moment - chapstick, bars of soap . . . always random and often irreplaceable)
- "There's the hot sun!"
- "Fancy socks! Judah daddy both have fancy socks!" (he loves to wear socks, especially Trev's long argyle ones)
- "MORE HOT DOGGGGGGGGGGGGGG! " (he would eat them until he got sick, for sure)
- He wants to do everything and anything Karis is doing, including tossing/catching stuffed animals, cleaning up, biking in the cul-de-sac . . . everything
- "Hi Judah!" (the last words he now loves to say as I tuck him into bed. It's like he's refusing to say goodnight)
- "Color only on paper!" (I wish I could include the tone on so many of his phrases, very sweet mimic-ing)
- "Turn on waterfountain!" (slip n slide)
- "One, two, three - blastoff!"
- "Purple marsh-a-mallows, mommy!" (read: give me lucky charms RIGHT NOW)

Midsummer Night's . . . Reality

Catching up . . . 

Some happenings:

Youth Group-ing - it was a highlight of early summer to reconnect with some of our former youth-groupers. Who as it turns out, are all now old enough to enjoy going out for an adult beverage, which is so crazy to me. What amazing young woman, and so beautiful to watch their lives unfold, to vicariously experience their adventures and wide eyed dreams.

Kids CAN-ing - our church's VBS, this week was a full one for all and we loved every minute. I am the long standing snack lady, a position I enjoy tremendously. It's amazing to watch everyone work with their gifts to bless the children. The children are beyond amazing, watching their joy and creativity and confidence and growth . . . as they partook in music, drama, dancing, story-telling . . . doing real things at tender ages, such a profound opportunity.

Concert-ing - at the end of the KidsCAN week I left the kids at dinnertime to meet Trev at his work rooftop summer party. Beautiful view and loud music, it was a treat to be with him. We then met D & M at Loring Pasta Bar to hang out and then go to a My Morning Jacket concert together. I greatly enjoyed about half of the concert (and not necessarily the beginning or end half- just overall half). I woke up with a bad cold the next day, so I'm wondering if part of some moments of misery was that . . . anyway, so glad to have gone and watch Trev rock out and to experience it (because it WAS an experience) with D & M, who we love so much. I woke up feeling like, "Did that happen?"

4th of July-ing - we hit the lake for a couple days and loved every minute. Highlights were Karis baking a "flag cake" with gma (her cutting and serving was the sweetest thing). Watching The Sound of Music (deserving of its own post, I'm quite obsessed with it at the moment and completely inspired by Maria). Boating to Zorbaz for pizza.  Kayak (Trev and Judah), paddleboat. Smoke bombs and snake thing-ys (???) in the driveway. Karis getting to watch fireworks for the first time (in her pj's, precious).

Trevor birthday-ing - I think we celebrated in Pandolfo style quite well and stretched it out. Dinner with my fam at the Smack Shack. I rarely get him a gift and this year sprung for a kindle (after hearing him say once in a while, "I think you should have a kindle". Which I took to mean he wanted one. Twas true).  We stayed up late to watch The Kingsman (bizarre), he got a Saturday at home to do what he wanted, Pizza Luce with neighbor friends on THE day, a late week date at Milton's and then he went with his cousin Lee to see Ant Man (uff da). He wrapped it up just this week by spending some birthday money on digital copies of Star Wars. Oh Trevor, I do love who you are - it's a treasure to get to know you and be on this journey by your side. Your character and sincere heart and kindness and humor speak volumes to all.

Duluth wedding-ing - we got there mid morning on a Saturday and hit the harbor with grandparents and great-grands. Togetherness, climbing up a huge boat, resting for hours in the hotel room (ahhhh, lovely),  being with friends and family at the Glensheen mansion for the Storslee wedding and reception. Karis says her favorite part was watching a ton of TV in the hotel room. I would add the gorgeous scenery, fab family, catching up with the Storslees. I did notice Karis's self awareness, she didn't want to dance (was "shy"). She's growing up so fast . . . Judah on the other hand had a ball and went out dancing on Trev's shoulders. We also did a family breakfast the next morning as an early b-day celebration for Karis - joy to watch her munch a choc chip cookie with whip cream before her syrup soaked sprinkle pancakes.

Neighborhood walks - The kids and I have spent some after-naptime walking a loop in the neighborhood (to be honest, inspired by Maria) that brings us to a meadow and winds back home. One day we saw a doe and then sang "Doe a Deer" the rest of the way home - Judah now begs (demands): "Mommy, run, sing!" when we get to a certain part in the walk. Where did Maria find all that energy?

Camping-without-camping - oh thank you dear Dierkers for letting us completely mooch off your genuine camping trip. We visited them at Baker Park Reserve in time for a walk through the woods to a beautiful beach/lake, swam, hiked back for fire building & dinner/dessert roasting. They are so generous and inclusive. Memorable was watching Trevor eat smores (fun to watch the kids too).

Not doing anything organized, planned, or adventurous - at the beginning of summer I get this familiar feeling of "should we get ourselves 'in' things or just take it as it comes". It's an uncomfortable place sometimes, and then I remember how usually I'm glad when we can come and go as we please. I did envision some exploring of museums and farther-away parks and splashpads, but it turns out the back yard sprinkler and time with neighbors and friends has been the best rhythm. I do have that "school is coming" stirring, mostly excited and a little bit devastated.

Recent Relevant Quotes:
From Anna Hibiscus (so delightful):
"It's not good to be alone . . . we have to help each other. A husband and three children is too much for one woman alone" (HA!)

"Grandmother and Grandfather had lived so long, they had become so wise and so calm that anybody who was with them was happy to accept their last word on everything."

"'What are you talking about, Anna Hibiscus?' her mother said, cross and tired. . . Uncle Tunde heard. He saw Anna's tears. Uncle Tunde had not been cooking all afternoon, and he was not so tired." (SO TRUE).

From Better than Before:
"In the chaos of everyday life, it's easy to lose sight of what really matters, and I can use my habits to make sure that my life reflects my values."

From an old Reader's Digest:
" . . . while I wait to make a grand heroic gesture, I should just stick to the small inconveniences that let me share in life's inevitable, occasional calamity."

" . . . the volume of words a baby hears in the first few words of his life is even more vital to brain development than scientists had first thought. By the time their kids are three, some parents have spoken 30 million more words to them than others have." (I laughed inside, between me/Karis/Trev - Judah should be in good shape)

Random Musings:

I long ago discovered that I am here for GIVING hugs, not receiving them. But wow, I've come to appreciate random hugs from Karis and Judah. Karis's arms wrap around my front and her head buries into my stomach . . . Judah sneaks up behind me and wraps his arms around my shoulders - or sometimes he hugs my face. I want to remember these moments.

You can often find us post nap coloring with sidewalk chalk in front (they have the most fun coloring their legs, arms, and faces), then tromping to the back to make and play with mud - they are so happy doing this, and it's hilarious to watch. When they're done, inside for baths and sometimes a quick "Cosmic Kids Yoga" (adorable to watch them do this) youtube video while I get dinner on the table. Trev walks in about 6, we eat, they go upstairs for "TWO GUMMIES!" and I clean up and listen to the thumping upstairs until it's time for devotions in our bedroom and then tuck-ins. I love these rhythms, and the kids do too.

We've had some uncomfortable play dates lately that have sent me to a thinking and praying place, wondering how much to hover/how much to let kids be kids and work things out. We (moms) can only hover for so long, pretty soon these precious littles will be in school and having more private play dates and - well, I want to be wise in shepherding but also understanding and empathic of everyone's feelings, and help these sweet hearts navigate the world of feelings and interactions and the meaning of friendship. As always, I can go to serious places quickly and so my challenge is to go this new road with a light heart.

Things you might hear me saying lately: "I love who God has made you". "I apologize and I will try to slow down more this time". "I love uppa Judah. Yes, let's go to the rocking chair." "Time for splish splash and Lion song!" (transition from mud time to bath time). "No thank you. All done". "Popsicle stays outside".

As I hit "publish" right now . . . Judah greeted us this morning (for the first time) by opening his door and saying "hi Mommy!". Which means, games are changing for a crib crawler outer. It was followed by an hour meltdown - it is so hard for this guy to wake up. Oh these ages and stages.

Karis-isms: 
- "Look mom, we're walking the plank!" (chair cushions)
- "I call the cushions toast. They look like toast"
- "It's so much fun having a brother!"
- "Mommy, my neck feels heavy" (after I told her that I had a neck ache. Uff da)
- "Judah, you have flowers growing where your mouth should be!" (when he stuck flower stickers over his mouth)
- "Judah, will you play with me forever and ever?"
- "You know what we're pretending to be? S'mores. So the marshmallow runs into the graham cracker with this pillow" (while insanely running with Judah around the house)
- "Mom, you have triangle head. And you look like a boy"
- "Well, you sure did pick a difficult spot to put your mower!"
- "Was this your idea (qdoba) so you didn't have to make dinner?"
- "Happy half-birthday to you . . . this chocolate cake is good for you . . . "
- "So daddy, me and mommy have a plan: we're going to have Grandma Nancy potty train Judah"
- "Mommy, thanks for getting me this! You don't shop for me very often!" (the Rosetta t-shirt I got her . . . months ago, that she didn't like but now does)
- "I'm making company dolls. They're to keep people company" (she's been making paper dolls during rest time, adorable)
- (on a recent drive back from the lake): "Well hey there Mr.! Wanna eat some potato chips on this hot summer day?" "Judah, here use my foot as a phone! Put it up to your ear!"
- "I'll gladly sew bonnets and shawls and dresses for the [porcelain] dolls when I have my own sewing kit"
- "Lauren's a double mommy, because she has a baby in her belly"
- "This is so interesting!" (said while sitting on my lap at an Arbonne party)
- "Luke Skywalker made some hasty decisions, which is why Princess Laia is in charge"
- "Well, when they cut out your moles I'm going to go look at the fish [I then explained I'll go see the derm by myself] Okay mom, just make sure you bring a sucker back"
- "It's good in its own way" (referring to homemade popsicles)
- "I can hear your heartbeat" (said while cuddling at bedtime)
- "Daddy, it was a baking day"
- "Mommy, Judah's picking the green tomatoes" (oh brother, literally)
- "Mommy, are you so surprised that you snore?"
- "Well, kind of like how you like basements, daddy just likes to sleep on floors" (true, true)
- (in tears one Sunday night) "I don't want to grow up, I want to stay five forever . . . I won't be able to cuddle with you anymore!" (oh sweet Karis! Did we ever have a good cuddle after that)
- "Mom, my meatball is wet" (um, that's called gravy)

Judah Jibes:
- "Head and toes!" (fave song lately)
- "Popcorn plant!" (whenever he sees plants in a store)
- "Jeffe! Rupa! Elevator! Pretzels, hold them" (recent visit to Trev's office)
- "Daddy in water. Towel" (at the lake, when Trev was putting the canopy up - Judah was very concerned)
- "Chin up!" (when in the bath, washing hair)
- "So fast!"
- "Snack-a-lady"
- "Concert!" (correctly used while listening to fabulous music at KidsCAN - aka VBS at our church)
- "Mommy get it!"
- "Q-doba"
- "My morning jacket"
- Judah's thoughts on Barbie: "Pretty!" . . . ."Barbie, poopie. Take off diaper?" (while turning her upside down) !!!!!!!!
- "Why not?!" (my phrase to the kids when they were playing with mud)
- "Break-a-fast outside!"
- "CHOC-O-LATE DONUT!" (said angrily while he had a maple and his friend Ted had a chocolate. He later pushed Ted to the ground. Please help)
- "Napping House!" (a latest fave book)
- "Sit like big-a-boy"
- "No carrots!
- "Let's do that"
- "Letter book!" (Chicka Chicka Boom Boom)
- "Deer home"
- "Egg in there" (in  his french toast - my kids loathe eggs)
- "Grandma do it!"
- "Lion!" (when he spotted a big labradoodle dog)
- "Ha ha ha song! Karis turn it on!" (a new fave)
- "So fresh!" (phrase he picked up when gma got him out of the bath)
- "Little man clean carpet - vacuum!"
- "Han Solo. Princess Laia. Boat!" (reading a Star Wars board book)
- "On the table!" (during bedtime routine - wants his milk to be placed there)
- "No feet Marco" (as in, don't kick Marco)
- "Cat, twinkle star!" (please read Pete the Cat)
- "Mommy sit table!" (sit at the table while I dance - please don't join me dancing)
- I'm still savoring our bedtime chats (Judah now turns around after reading "by you" - sitting beside me - and says "chat". And then eventually he burrows his head into my shoulder and I tell him what I love about him and pray for his night - it's amazing how he relaxes into this, such a gift)
- "Huge!"
- "Have huge date" (as in the food)
- "Caroline sad. Joshua fall down" (after a play date . . . I was amazed that he was paying attention to those details and included them in his pre-nap chat)
- "Judah pooping"
- "Judah's school. New friends. Sucker picnic!" (registering Judah for a couple hours a week at Karis's "old" school and then eating suckers at a nearby park)
- "Courtney, Judah back to bed" (neighbor girl while babysitting - had the wisdom to see Judah wasn't quite ready to get up from his nap and so put him back to bed successfully)
- "Cosmic kids YOGAAAAAAAAAA!" (a sometimes tradition while I make dinner)
- "Daddy, go to sleep!" (their little lay-down routine while I'm tucking Karis in)
- "Go help you mommy" (translates, please help)
- "Eeeewwwwey bathroom!" (our name for port-a-potties)
- "Careful, Karis!" (said while she was going in a porta potty!)
- "Other one boat" (or, other one anything - his way of saying "another", I think)
- "See Kate, Taylor's new house"
- "Beetle up there!" (took me too long to figure this one out as he peered up at an outdoor window . . . turns out it was "BEES" - finally understood AFTER he got stung. Poor guy)
- "Hi mail man!"
- "Construction!"
- "Sing letters!" (sing the "ABC's" after reading Chicka Chicka Boom Boom)
- "Soooo many boat motors!" (continues to be obsessed with boats)

Rooftop party

My gardener loves to harvest tomatoes and assemble apps 

So gratifying to watch things grow. Next year we'll plant something they actually like eating

Right before leaving for fireworks. I just love this memory

Elvenses. Or, 11:11

We just wrapped up "Two Elevenses" around here (Hobbit term, anyone? Technically, it's supposed to be tea-time. For purposes here, it's just a significant number of our recent happenings). And 11:11 is my and Trev's "number",  and thus below is the usual random for-the-record-account.

First Elevenses - 11 Years of Marriage: 

My parents gifted us early with our first night away from both kids - I don't know who had the most fun (well, probably Karis, because that's just who she is). Judah waved as they drove away and Trev and I settled in easily to a Saturday to ourselves. I think we made the most of it, and it was a special day that I want to remember . . . in the afternoon (nap time, of course) I watched Railway Man and was completely riveted - perfect to pull me back to a place of perspective after what was an intense internal week. I do love intense movies, and this true story was superb. Trev got stuff done (which he loves) and we came together at 3 to meander around until our dinner res at 5. We enjoyed a slow stroll around Loring Park (oh, Trev is always trying to get me to just stroll) and then a climb up Gold Medal Park.

We looked out over the river and I realized that so many years ago we would find a spot to look out over the Missouri River - what different landscape we're gazing at now.

Bar La Grasa did not disappoint, it was a special spot to split a well prepared meal - including ramps! Which might sound funny, but to me was significant because this wild onion was a fab feature on one of our fave shows, A Chef's Life. The meal ended with a bite of chocolate and limoncello, and I even left with a souvenir -  when we got to the car I was clutching a  cloth napkin.

And since we didn't have to get home, we hit Spyhouse - and in true make-our-day-way ran into a former high school classmate. Crazy. Trev's dessert request was pb oreos, so to Cub we went and then home to enjoy them (and for Trev a pipe) on the deck. Oh, and Trev exercised some of his ND roots and set a live trap hoping for some raccoons. We watched the 100 Foot Journey and called it a very good day.

Backing up, the day began early in the morning reading a reflection about "seeking Treasure" - which was meaningful to me because of the long and funny history of "Treasure Trevor". I had hoped we would just have some light hearted fun, and we really did. In fact, I felt SO light hearted, I wonder  how I can bring that spirit into the dailyness?

Sunday I still woke up early (not by choice, body clock is pretty routine and stubborn). The house was so quiet . . . . so, we went for second breakfast (Hobbits, people) to Milton's before heading to church. Where, another random run-in - a gal walked into the bathroom and we had that awkward "I know you from somewhere" minute before realizing she used to work with Trev.

We soaked in the hands free time and then hit the road, grabbing some grub from Whole Foods on the way. Listened to podcasts and rested while driving to the lake - and had a sweet reunion with our fam and a wonderful night catching up with my parents. Grateful for all.


Second Elevenses - 11 Days out of town but at home still: 

The next week Karis wrapped up her ballet session, we caught up with a former youth grouper of mine, and packed the and hit the road (sounds so easy, right? It wasn't. Judah has a sensor for when stuff has to get done and was a melty mess). First stop, Park Rapids for the yearly DeKrey reunion (which to Karis translates: weekend playing with cousin Isabel!). They made the most of the time, including a "make up pajama private fashion show", going to town with their grandma's for some window shopping, and just general togetherness. Trev and I (with Judah) stuck close to the cabin to mingle and meander and rest. We do so love the tradition of that weekend together with so much fabulous family.

The kids and I made the trek to Bismarck on Sunday (with Cassie's company until Fargo, phew), and loved a stop at Heidi's house to see her and her baby belly, some Wendy's, some Steele, and collapsed in "BIS-A-MAAARCK" (for which Judah screamed many times along the way - and when we went over the big hill, the scream turned to delight and he seemed to really understand we'd arrived. We later realized that he thinks my parents' home is Bis-a-marck. We hunkered in for a week of many things and I love thinking about it all, a sweet way to kick off the summer:
- Park Rapids reunion, so grand. As I expected, I barely saw Karis (off with sweet cousin Isabel), I stayed within 50 feet of our cabin the entire time, and we had a sweet time of connecting with lots of fam. The big bummer is that Grandpa Warren wasn't feeling well to be there, he and Eileen and Aunt Karen were so very missed.
- The drive back to Bis was smooth, with a stop at Heidi's house and Wendy's and Steele. Judah tantrumed for "BIS-A-MARCK!" much of the way. And then fell asleep for a bit and all was well. For the first time he fully joined in the rejoicing when we went over the big hill and could see the city
- Park play, walks to "Eagle Ridge" (where Karis loves to visit a toy that is perched on an evergreen), delicious homemade delights from Nancy, lots of grandpa around, evenings on the deck watching the prairie sky, pheasant peering. These things accented our days.
- Memorable to Monday was Karis getting quite sick just as we entered Great Grandma Eileen's home. Picture puke everywhere, Karis crying (poor girl!), Judah yelping "Uppa mommy!" while I tried to manage the situation. One of those moments that is so ridiculous that it's actually memorable in the moment it's happening
- Connecting with a high school and college friend, pizza party with cousins, hanging with Gma Carole . . . Karis got to go to an eye appt. with her grandmas - and then Space Aliens and a manicure (while I sprawled out in front of cable tv while Judah slept)
- A stroll down memory lane for me after a haircut with some Cafe Aroma and a drive by the river
- Visiting April's house (and Kitty!) with Bearcat donuts (all such bliss for Judah)
- The amusement park and KFC (huge highlight for all)
- A delightful day on the prairie with the Popes with tractor rides and nap strikes and Little House on the Prairie and piano music
- Trev arrived late Friday night . . .Saturday we visited cousin Sarah at her new home and very redemptively got to meet her 6 ducklings (our dear Donut Duck disappeared on the reunion weekend)
- Wedding date! Trev and I went to Jenny Storslee's wedding while the kids played the afternoon and night away with my folks. Good for all
- Reconnecting as a fam of four: we stopped off in Alexandria for a night and enjoyed some park play, Zorbaz, and I watched Trev watch The Great Outdoors for the very first time. Hilarious from many angles.

And not to be neglected for history's sake is Trev's side of the week's story: work really hard at our rental, get pretty sick and stay in bed for a couple days, work really hard at work, work really hard at the rental, meet friends at Pizza Luce, pack, drive to Bismarck and pull in really late and meet best friend for Perkins and pipes. Oh that guy, I'm grateful.

And for the record, hindsight 20/20, I wish I could fully relax, let the kids be wild, take Judah to quiet whenever he needed it (but then again - how to instill that "you're not the center of the universe" value? The balancing act leaves me wobbly at times). A friend reminded me that "I'm the mom", and that maybe letting loose entirely just isn't my job right now.

2nd Anniversary (kind of like second breakfast, very Hobbit-ish): 

And like a book end to this, our "real" anniversary was yesterday and it felt surprisingly special - I don't know HOW people remember this day, but we received some touching texts and cards, which I don't take for granted and reminds me that our journey is so very strengthened by our loved ones.

The day began early with what I knew would quickly be a memorable story - 3:30am, I hear Trev getting his graham crackers and milk . . . then I hear him going into Karis's room. So I got up to see what the deal was, and he was in her rocking chair eating his snack. I guess he's been doing that for years, but seeing it for the first time was a little odd. We laughed in the morning (not at 3:30am). The day continued to be memorable by smoking Karis's lunch in the microwave (uff da). Later the kids had a blast with the neighbor girls (and even had an artistic greeting for us, picture below) while we savored some Pig Ate My Pizza (such a great place). Low key, wonderful. For the record, I don't know if we usually get gifts, but this year Trev got sweatpants and I got coffee. It's so good to learn and grow together. Watched The Grand Budapest Hotel (totally Trev's humor). Why not celebrate, right? I'm so grateful.

Quotables:
From Rilla of Ingleside (so very delightful, this book):
(Rilla writing in her diary) "I like to write a few personal things in this blessed old book that might not be exactly what I'd want my children to read. I feel that I shall be a far greater stickler for propriety in regard to them than I am for myself!". . .

"I don't go about quoting Jims's speeches to all I meet. I just enshrine them in this old hotch-potch of a journal!"

"The joy of last night and today has been so great that it seemed half pain - as if our hearts weren't  big enough to hold it" (read this shortly after a Proverb that I paid special attention to: "Even in laughter the heart may ache". Isn't that so true? I find that feeling to be a frequent one in parenting)

From Farmer Boy (passage read on our final stretch of drive back to Plymouth - Trev and I had a good laugh):
"Mothers always fuss about the way you eat. You can hardly eat any way that pleases them"

From Mom . . . and loving it
"[Marriage] is a huge undertaking, something we must grow into . . . "

From Proverbs (read literally hours after telling my family that I planned to increase my smiling in the coming week):
15:13 - "A happy heart makes the face cheerful"
15:30 - "A cheerful look brings joy to the heart"

And then, this song. I quite bawled the first time I listened, it just opened a well - shortly after Karis came down bawling because she hit her head, and then just after that Judah bawled because it was time for bed and the chapstick had to go night night. It was kind of a memorable moment of all just having a good cry (I don't think Trevor joined the bawl fest).


Karis-isms:
- "I think the toenail polish will stay on my toes longer because my mouth can't reach them"
- "I have an Elsa piggy bank!"
- "At the amusement park, I had a corn on the dog!"
- "Mom, I think you should turn on your windshield wipers. And your lights, all the other cars have their lights on."
- "Mom, you have a lot of pimples. And moles"
- "So, what does this sticker say? (pause) "Oh, so mom, they made this in China"
- "Mom, you have triangle head"
- "Why are you wearing those funny looking pants?"
- "Mom, Judah's talking bathroom talk"
- "Mom, don't pick all the bay-lea" (she means basil - she loves to eat it from the plant)
- "Not at all . . . of course not" (in reply to such questions as, "Do you want x/y/z" or "Do you have to go to the bathroom" or . . . oh Karis)
- "I'll have it all, in fact!"
- "Daddy, what does replaceable mean?"
- "Judah how about we play book out camp out?" (putting books in the trampoline and sitting together)
- "Mommy, I really want that white horse!" (stereotypes continue to come true)
- "Daddy, chew with your mouth closed" (Trev used the opportunity to instruct that it's not okay to say that to anyone outside our family)
- "So, Pa must be older than daddy because Pa can make things out of wood"
- "Let's make stacked pancakes!"
- "I think the magician learned his magic tricks at Disney World"
- "Judah was a reindeer in Drewie and Melanie's wedding" (HA!)
- "Can you do a downward dog?" (she means underdog)



Judah Jibes:
- "Elmo's song! Read it!"
- "Rocking chairrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!" (while leading me by the hand to the rocking chair - this happens when his introverted self needs alone time. I would melt, but it usually means ending a conversation with someone . . . which is of course ok, but . . . )
- "Hold it! Stroller! Push Karis!"
- "Park! Stephanie!"
- "Heidi's house!"
- "In the train! Hold tickets!"
- "Play Cisco!" (said every single sleep time and often when he wakes up. Oh he loves his friends)
- "Bis-a-maaaaaaaarck!"
- "Play few more minutes!"
- "Take turns. Karis's turn"
- "Share. Judah's turn" (said so earnestly, nodding his head expressively as if trying to talk himself into sharing. I melt)
- "Soccer ball!"
- "Curly hair" (while pointing to his hair and addressing a random stranger at Chick-fil-A)
- "Marsh-a-mallow", "Pic-i-nic", "Duck-a-ling, "Pic-a-ture" "Choc-o-late" (everything has 3 syllables, love it)
- "Eliza, birthday party, pic-i-nic!"
- "Big wet kiss! Big hug!"
- "In the boat. Jordan's boat. Cassie's boat"
- "April, kitty! Donuts!"
- "No change diaper" (which means he needs it changed)
- "Hold tickets. Fried chicken." (reminiscing about amusement park)
- "Wave to mommy"
- "Wheels on bus!"
- "Chapstick, bed"
- "Baby Asher. Lee. Caroline. Mmmm, mmmm"

Segreto Ingrediente

I've been wanting to do some Mother's Day reflecting, so here's what was and is on my mind - because I do want to capture/record/journal our most marvelous Mother's Day to date.

First, I think it be an at-times awkward holiday. Many people miss their moms, don't have moms, want to be a mom. I want to be with my moms, but I'm here and I'm a mom. It feels weird to celebrate me, but I want to acknowledge the day and give thanks . . . and really, I'm a mom because of my kids, so is the day about my kids? But then that's kind of awkward/ironic, because (and I've polled some friends on this) at this stage sometimes what moms need on Mother's Day is to be alone for a while. Add to the irony that at later stages moms are missing their (adult) kids and would do anything to be with them. Well, anyway. It's a day, it's past, but for me worth processing a little.

And then there's this thing about expectations/needs/wants (sometimes not known until too late, or known and not expressed . . . both dangerous recipes for disappointment and angst. Also a conversation theme among friends after the day). We did find as our good literary friend Strega Nona says, the "segreto ingrediente" this year: celebrate early. A day early. It was bliss. We went to Penzeys (thanks to my parents) and to Mill Valley Kitchen (thanks to my parents-in-law). We were together, we were out, I was not cooking, the day was gorgeous. We came home, Trev & Karis made and gave me terrariums. So crafty! And then Sunday could just be Sunday - Karis went to a friend's birthday party and while Judah (and Trev) napped I watched part of Anna Karenina. Then we established a new traditions: steak and sweats (pants). Just all, sensational. I am humbled to be able to be a mother, a day to celebrate it sometimes seems like "Well yeah, this is hard" and other times like "Why do I get to do this?".

3 Words?
I read an article lately that asked some "famous" mothers several questions, one being: what 3 words would your kids use to describe you. I've been thinking about this one, more in terms of what words I hope would be used . . .

Visit to Linnie
Judah and I loved a little visit to Grandma Linnie to her care center . . . joined by Aunt Debbie & her friend Val. It was so memorable, watching Judah interact as we painted her nails and chatted. Linnie was hilarious, and kept asking who "that little girl belongs to". Sweet memories.

Discipline?
Just saying, Judah needs some. And I've been reminded about our responsibility as his parents to give that gift to him - it feels so different (everything does) than with Karis. I keep reading in Proverbs about the topic (discipline your son and he will bring you peace - just to name one) and it makes me feel . . . like I need extra doses of wisdom right now.

Donut Duck!
We call her Donut Duck (Karis's name, the flavor sometimes changes) and she lives in a barrel planter right outside our front door. It's crazy, and I'm so thankful she chose that spot to lay her 6 eggs. We discovered 3 of them Mother's Day weekend, saw 3 more several days later. And now even when she's gone (which is rare) we can't even see the eggs because her down is covering the nest so fully. So beautiful. I've given much thought to her innate devotion to nurturing her chicks. We wonder what she thinks about all day, if she gets bored? We hope to be here when they hatch (um, we hope they hatch). Donut is extremely tame, we come and go and talk to her and she just sits there. Devoted.

Can't not think of them
My kids. That's it. I explained this to Trevor - the inability to tune them out even when he's with them here and "in charge". When they are in my orb or even out of it, they are on my mind and in my heart. It's the most all consuming thing I've ever experienced, pretty amazing. And also, constricting. But always, grateful.

Speaking of Trevor 
As I write this, Trev is reading to me from The Onion, ridiculous stories about motherhood, such as: "Mom was so sad she ordered just pizza for dinner". Some are funny. Although for full effect, I would recommend calling Trev and having him read them to you.

Other thoughts to capture that might as well insert here:

Like a Yeti
I recently showed to Karis (via youtube) the "Yeti ride" at Disney World (my fave) . . . and we got to talking about Yetis. She wanted to know what they're like. In explaining this hilarious fictitious creature I found myself using Judah as an analogy. It went something like this and came out of nowhere: "It's like when Judah is freaking out - we know that Judah is actually a very kind, fun, wonderful little creature. But sometimes, he gets so frustrated and feels things so strongly and just doesn't know what to do with his feelings . . . well, I think the Yeti is like that. He's really a very lovely creature, he's just scared and acts out in ways that seem scary." Something like that. Basically silly BUT helped me to remember to laugh and to understand my 2 year old (um, and anyone at any year old, right? Please, right?).

Children's Prayer
Luke 11:9-10
I could spend a lot of time writing on this, but I'll summarize and say I've been so humbled in how I think about prayer . . . by my faithful, wise, wonderful teacher Karis. Before the children's prayer service many weeks ago she asked, "Mommy, will this be a fun meeting?" and I hemed and hawed and basically said, "No! We're praying, this is serious and sacred". Uff da, I was so put in my place as the time was so full of joy and laughter - isn't that so what we learn from children? He asks the children to come to Him, He accepts all offerings and I know He loves their joy and exuberance and energy as they pray. I've also been reminded listening to Karis's askings ("Dear Lord, I pray we'd find Wally and get a lolly . . . " and other such requests). Yes, God wants us to ask. He tells us to ask (verse referenced above). So, I'm trying to pray more like Karis. Yesterday it was, "God, I pray that Judah would have a happy wake up and a calm morning". And I'm thanking Karis often for teaching me how to pray.

Extremely random:
Trevor and I recently enjoyed this article, as we do love our 7pm kids in bed here! No judgement for anyone else AT ALL, but this has worked for us, mostly because we get some time together at night . . . trying to grow in flexibility always and I know kids can bend (even when sometimes their moms seem stiff. Ummmm, me).

Some mom quotes from recent reads:

From the Kevin Leman (he is hilarious) book First Time Mom:
"What you have to capture as a parent is your child's heart. You've got to know your child's heart, help train your child's heart, protect your child's heart, listen to your child's heart. Spend the early years enjoying each other's company and use that time to capture your child's heart."

From The Count of Monte Cristo
" . . . however all other feelings may be withered in a woman's nature, there is always one bright smiling spot in the desert of her heart, and that is the shrine of maternal love."

From Mom . . .  and Loving It
"Moms have experiences every day that make them want to rejoice - or pull their hair out . . . we live so constantly with moments that are out of our control . . . "

From Surprised by Motherhood
". . . mothers never want it to be over. Even the hard stuff. They want it to stop. They may want to find room to breath, to weep, to panic. But they don't want it to end - this delivering, shaping, cheering, loving, bringing life into the world."


Karis-isms:
- "Where's my little cereal with rice krispies and cream half drunk up?" (her version of what Pa in the Little House books calls Laura when he gets home)
- "Ooohhh, momma - the rules are to cheat!"
- "I wish I was four, it's so much simpler!"
- "Well, why not?" (in a positive way, like - hey, let's go for it!)
- "I drew a Yeti!" (she did, it was very yeti-ish)
- She recently got at the library the DVD Donald in Mathmagic Land. It's adorable - old, hilarious, she loves it and so do I. It ends with talking about "the Creator" and so she says, "Mom, so really, this movie is all about God!"
- My little helper girl's new routine is to water flowers/plants outside right after lunch -then she spends a good 15 minutes giving her feet a bath. I love it
- Books: Stuart Little, Thy Friend Obadiah, Mrs. Piggle Wiggle, Little House on the Prairie, Betsy Tacy
- "Well, those grandma's really stocked up my treat stash!"
- "It's a block party!"  (said while Judah dumped all his blocks into the trampoline)
- "Momma look, this is the part where he plays chest!"
- "Oh don't worrry, mom - that won't happen for a long time!" (when I was lamenting the speed of their growing up)
- "I hope this turns out how I'm hoping it will" (isn't that such a life long lesson?)
- "Mommy, I think soon we should train Judah for the potty! For now I think we can just hold him over the toilet"
- "It's a sweatshirt, you sweat in it!"
- "Mommy, does the girl have to be younger than who she marries?"
- "No Judah, my name is Karis! But you can call me Mommy" (HA!)
- I'm daily in awe of her love, so attentive and kind and care-taking of all around her
- She loves finding inchworms in the backyard, then making little "homes" for them in plastic cups . . .  securing saran wrap with hair bands and poking the wrap with toothpicks so they can breathe



Judah Jibes:
- "Pretty flower!"
- "Church. Uppa Ava. Cheerios. Sing"
- "Uppa!" (pick me up, please - Karis said this too!)
- "Gummy time!"
- "Cozy sleep sack"
- "Mary Poppins" (loves the book, that was my mom's when she was young)
- "Orange shirt" (loves colors)
- "Play pirates!" (game with daddy after dinner)
- "Mermaid book!" (loves looking at the Hans Christian Andersen version of Little Mermaid)
- "Toot!" (after he toots and then explodes into giggles. Must be inherent - studies should be done on this phenomenon)
- "Help you?" (translate: help me - he's getting so good at asking for help instead of melting into frustration)
- "Hi Judah!" (sometimes even whispered - when he wants you to look at him. And we say it all the time . . . )
- "Su-per-maaaaaaaannnnn!" (which is how I carry him downstairs. More correctly, how I get him to happily be carried downstairs)
- "Hooray (insert: mommy, Judah, daddy . . . )!"
- "Put it on!"
- "Tea time! Treat!"
- "Duck is sleeping! Eggs!"
- "Bye, Chocolate Donut" (the duck)
- "Peek a Boo!" (while bringing Karis the book Peek-a-Boo, to read to him)
- "Read mouse!" (I Love You, Mouse)
- "Play, Caleb! New friends!"
- "Uppa Julia!" (loves being lifted by our little friend Julia)
- "More more more! Little Guy! Little Guy's Daddy!" (while bringing the book More More More to anyone to read)
- "So funny!"
- "Go to sleep!" (while assuming his sleep position - bottom up and arms all cozy at his sides). Said anytime I even slightly reprimand him
- "Green button! Yellow button!" (said while pointing to the big dots on his pootise blanket)
- "Go go bananas! Slice bananas!" (part of Karis's dance class routine that he loves)
- Judah still loves to process his day when he goes to sleep and I still savor those moments of eye to eye focused "conversation" - "Play daddy. Gentle friends. Play Cisco! Play Simon! . . . "
- I never tire of watching Judah form words, so carefully concentrating and sputtering out exactly what he's trying to say