First, I think it be an at-times awkward holiday. Many people miss their moms, don't have moms, want to be a mom. I want to be with my moms, but I'm here and I'm a mom. It feels weird to celebrate me, but I want to acknowledge the day and give thanks . . . and really, I'm a mom because of my kids, so is the day about my kids? But then that's kind of awkward/ironic, because (and I've polled some friends on this) at this stage sometimes what moms need on Mother's Day is to be alone for a while. Add to the irony that at later stages moms are missing their (adult) kids and would do anything to be with them. Well, anyway. It's a day, it's past, but for me worth processing a little.
And then there's this thing about expectations/needs/wants (sometimes not known until too late, or known and not expressed . . . both dangerous recipes for disappointment and angst. Also a conversation theme among friends after the day). We did find as our good literary friend Strega Nona says, the "segreto ingrediente" this year: celebrate early. A day early. It was bliss. We went to Penzeys (thanks to my parents) and to Mill Valley Kitchen (thanks to my parents-in-law). We were together, we were out, I was not cooking, the day was gorgeous. We came home, Trev & Karis made and gave me terrariums. So crafty! And then Sunday could just be Sunday - Karis went to a friend's birthday party and while Judah (and Trev) napped I watched part of Anna Karenina. Then we established a new traditions: steak and sweats (pants). Just all, sensational. I am humbled to be able to be a mother, a day to celebrate it sometimes seems like "Well yeah, this is hard" and other times like "Why do I get to do this?".
3 Words?
I read an article lately that asked some "famous" mothers several questions, one being: what 3 words would your kids use to describe you. I've been thinking about this one, more in terms of what words I hope would be used . . .
Visit to Linnie
Judah and I loved a little visit to Grandma Linnie to her care center . . . joined by Aunt Debbie & her friend Val. It was so memorable, watching Judah interact as we painted her nails and chatted. Linnie was hilarious, and kept asking who "that little girl belongs to". Sweet memories.
Discipline?
Just saying, Judah needs some. And I've been reminded about our responsibility as his parents to give that gift to him - it feels so different (everything does) than with Karis. I keep reading in Proverbs about the topic (discipline your son and he will bring you peace - just to name one) and it makes me feel . . . like I need extra doses of wisdom right now.
Donut Duck!
We call her Donut Duck (Karis's name, the flavor sometimes changes) and she lives in a barrel planter right outside our front door. It's crazy, and I'm so thankful she chose that spot to lay her 6 eggs. We discovered 3 of them Mother's Day weekend, saw 3 more several days later. And now even when she's gone (which is rare) we can't even see the eggs because her down is covering the nest so fully. So beautiful. I've given much thought to her innate devotion to nurturing her chicks. We wonder what she thinks about all day, if she gets bored? We hope to be here when they hatch (um, we hope they hatch). Donut is extremely tame, we come and go and talk to her and she just sits there. Devoted.
Can't not think of them
My kids. That's it. I explained this to Trevor - the inability to tune them out even when he's with them here and "in charge". When they are in my orb or even out of it, they are on my mind and in my heart. It's the most all consuming thing I've ever experienced, pretty amazing. And also, constricting. But always, grateful.
Speaking of Trevor
As I write this, Trev is reading to me from The Onion, ridiculous stories about motherhood, such as: "Mom was so sad she ordered just pizza for dinner". Some are funny. Although for full effect, I would recommend calling Trev and having him read them to you.
Other thoughts to capture that might as well insert here:
Like a Yeti
I recently showed to Karis (via youtube) the "Yeti ride" at Disney World (my fave) . . . and we got to talking about Yetis. She wanted to know what they're like. In explaining this hilarious fictitious creature I found myself using Judah as an analogy. It went something like this and came out of nowhere: "It's like when Judah is freaking out - we know that Judah is actually a very kind, fun, wonderful little creature. But sometimes, he gets so frustrated and feels things so strongly and just doesn't know what to do with his feelings . . . well, I think the Yeti is like that. He's really a very lovely creature, he's just scared and acts out in ways that seem scary." Something like that. Basically silly BUT helped me to remember to laugh and to understand my 2 year old (um, and anyone at any year old, right? Please, right?).
Children's Prayer
Luke 11:9-10
I could spend a lot of time writing on this, but I'll summarize and say I've been so humbled in how I think about prayer . . . by my faithful, wise, wonderful teacher Karis. Before the children's prayer service many weeks ago she asked, "Mommy, will this be a fun meeting?" and I hemed and hawed and basically said, "No! We're praying, this is serious and sacred". Uff da, I was so put in my place as the time was so full of joy and laughter - isn't that so what we learn from children? He asks the children to come to Him, He accepts all offerings and I know He loves their joy and exuberance and energy as they pray. I've also been reminded listening to Karis's askings ("Dear Lord, I pray we'd find Wally and get a lolly . . . " and other such requests). Yes, God wants us to ask. He tells us to ask (verse referenced above). So, I'm trying to pray more like Karis. Yesterday it was, "God, I pray that Judah would have a happy wake up and a calm morning". And I'm thanking Karis often for teaching me how to pray.
Extremely random:
Trevor and I recently enjoyed this article, as we do love our 7pm kids in bed here! No judgement for anyone else AT ALL, but this has worked for us, mostly because we get some time together at night . . . trying to grow in flexibility always and I know kids can bend (even when sometimes their moms seem stiff. Ummmm, me).
Some mom quotes from recent reads:
From the Kevin Leman (he is hilarious) book First Time Mom:
"What you have to capture as a parent is your child's heart. You've got to know your child's heart, help train your child's heart, protect your child's heart, listen to your child's heart. Spend the early years enjoying each other's company and use that time to capture your child's heart."
From The Count of Monte Cristo
" . . . however all other feelings may be withered in a woman's nature, there is always one bright smiling spot in the desert of her heart, and that is the shrine of maternal love."
From Mom . . . and Loving It
"Moms have experiences every day that make them want to rejoice - or pull their hair out . . . we live so constantly with moments that are out of our control . . . "
From Surprised by Motherhood
". . . mothers never want it to be over. Even the hard stuff. They want it to stop. They may want to find room to breath, to weep, to panic. But they don't want it to end - this delivering, shaping, cheering, loving, bringing life into the world."
Karis-isms:
- "Where's my little cereal with rice krispies and cream half drunk up?" (her version of what Pa in the Little House books calls Laura when he gets home)
- "Ooohhh, momma - the rules are to cheat!"
- "I wish I was four, it's so much simpler!"
- "Well, why not?" (in a positive way, like - hey, let's go for it!)
- "I drew a Yeti!" (she did, it was very yeti-ish)
- She recently got at the library the DVD Donald in Mathmagic Land. It's adorable - old, hilarious, she loves it and so do I. It ends with talking about "the Creator" and so she says, "Mom, so really, this movie is all about God!"
- My little helper girl's new routine is to water flowers/plants outside right after lunch -then she spends a good 15 minutes giving her feet a bath. I love it
- Books: Stuart Little, Thy Friend Obadiah, Mrs. Piggle Wiggle, Little House on the Prairie, Betsy Tacy
- "Well, those grandma's really stocked up my treat stash!"
- "It's a block party!" (said while Judah dumped all his blocks into the trampoline)
- "Momma look, this is the part where he plays chest!"
- "Oh don't worrry, mom - that won't happen for a long time!" (when I was lamenting the speed of their growing up)
- "I hope this turns out how I'm hoping it will" (isn't that such a life long lesson?)
- "Mommy, I think soon we should train Judah for the potty! For now I think we can just hold him over the toilet"
- "It's a sweatshirt, you sweat in it!"
- "Mommy, does the girl have to be younger than who she marries?"
- "No Judah, my name is Karis! But you can call me Mommy" (HA!)
- I'm daily in awe of her love, so attentive and kind and care-taking of all around her
- She loves finding inchworms in the backyard, then making little "homes" for them in plastic cups . . . securing saran wrap with hair bands and poking the wrap with toothpicks so they can breathe
Judah Jibes:
- "Pretty flower!"
- "Church. Uppa Ava. Cheerios. Sing"
- "Uppa!" (pick me up, please - Karis said this too!)
- "Gummy time!"
- "Cozy sleep sack"
- "Mary Poppins" (loves the book, that was my mom's when she was young)
- "Orange shirt" (loves colors)
- "Play pirates!" (game with daddy after dinner)
- "Mermaid book!" (loves looking at the Hans Christian Andersen version of Little Mermaid)
- "Toot!" (after he toots and then explodes into giggles. Must be inherent - studies should be done on this phenomenon)
- "Help you?" (translate: help me - he's getting so good at asking for help instead of melting into frustration)
- "Hi Judah!" (sometimes even whispered - when he wants you to look at him. And we say it all the time . . . )
- "Su-per-maaaaaaaannnnn!" (which is how I carry him downstairs. More correctly, how I get him to happily be carried downstairs)
- "Hooray (insert: mommy, Judah, daddy . . . )!"
- "Put it on!"
- "Tea time! Treat!"
- "Duck is sleeping! Eggs!"
- "Bye, Chocolate Donut" (the duck)
- "Peek a Boo!" (while bringing Karis the book Peek-a-Boo, to read to him)
- "Read mouse!" (I Love You, Mouse)
- "Play, Caleb! New friends!"
- "Uppa Julia!" (loves being lifted by our little friend Julia)
- "More more more! Little Guy! Little Guy's Daddy!" (while bringing the book More More More to anyone to read)
- "So funny!"
- "Go to sleep!" (while assuming his sleep position - bottom up and arms all cozy at his sides). Said anytime I even slightly reprimand him
- "Green button! Yellow button!" (said while pointing to the big dots on his pootise blanket)
- "Go go bananas! Slice bananas!" (part of Karis's dance class routine that he loves)
- Judah still loves to process his day when he goes to sleep and I still savor those moments of eye to eye focused "conversation" - "Play daddy. Gentle friends. Play Cisco! Play Simon! . . . "
- I never tire of watching Judah form words, so carefully concentrating and sputtering out exactly what he's trying to say
No comments:
Post a Comment