And the next Pope is HERE! Part Uno

(the following was written over several days . . . time really is different with a baby around!)

Karis (pronounced "care-iss") Carole Pope made her grand appearance to the world on Tuesday, August 4th, 2009 at 2:14 p.m. She weighed a lovely 6lbs 4oz, measured 19 inches long, and came out crying. And now I'm crying as I even write this sentence - it's just too much, God's provision is simply amazing and we feel so humbled that he would entrust us with this gift of life.

As I write, this new family of three is sitting in our living room in a quiet house. Trevor is reading The Hobbit to Karis, and she is loving every minute being wrapped up in her daddy's arms, feeling his heartbeat, hearing his voice, gathering his warmth.

There's so much I want to remember about the past few days, so many intricate details that I'm scared I'll forget. So I'm going to just write and post in increments - more for us than for anyone else, but I hope whoever reads this enjoys the boring details.

There's the technical "stuff" of going into labor of course (and I'm all about being real, so if you can't handle the graphic details, please just skip this paragraph!): my water broke at 11:30 pm and woke me up. However, it was simply a "gush" (you know, not exactly what they show you in the movies!), and I started to get what felt like contractions about every 20 minutes. I kept Trevor posted, but to be honest we were both in complete denial - I mean, we had plans for the next week, you know? I kept saying, "It's probably nothing" and Trevor kept saying "Yeah, it's probably just a leak. It'll repair itself" (I'm sure we read somewhere that can actually happen, I don't know?). Well, by 7am Trevor convinced me to call our midwife. She let me know that I had tested positive for Group B Strep, and said I needed to pack my bag and come in right away to get started on an IV. She said most women will go into full labor on their own, and they would give me a certain amount of time before augmenting my labor with drugs. I wilted. I went to the bedroom in tears and told Trevor what she said as I grabbed my backpack and started stuffing it. Trevor did the same and we just kind of moved around the house in a fog, I sent off emails to cancel all the plans I had with people the next couple days (I finished work last Friday and had packed the next couple weeks with all sorts of "play dates" for myself with friends, hosting people here, bringing meals to friends with babies . . . ). My contractions got a little more regular and I was having to stop in the middle of them and try to relax to get through them. My bro was eating breakfast and we really shocked him with our news! I'll never forget seeing him get choked up when I said, "One way or the other, we're going to have a baby within the next day or two." It was beautiful to see his emotion and helped me get excited for our change in plans. One of the last things I did before leaving the house was to crumple up my current "to do list" and toss it in the garbage - very liberating! I felt like I was saying hello to our new life and letting go of all that I thought "needed" to be done before Karis arrived.

Around 9am we pulled into the parking lot. I'll always remember talking to my mom as we pulled up, hearing the absolute joy and excitement in her voice was such a gift to me and continued to help me get so excited to meet Karis. We proceeded to the hospital triage area where they make sure you're not just faking labor (ha!), and man did they take their time in giving me the ph test to see if my water actually broke. Contractions were getting more regular, praise God, and I was starting to envision a quick labor and started thinking they better get going already. Well, they didn't - we were there for almost 3 hours! Still feeling pretty good, we enjoyed our time snacking on bananas and almonds, texting all sorts of people, just enjoying each other. And of course, getting more regular contractions - the nurse was rather discouraging and kept saying, "Well, hopefully the contractions are doing their job and making your cervix dilate". I was like, "Lady, I get how labor works - don't squash my hopes, okay?" Anyways. They finally hooked me up to my IV for antibiotics because of the Group B Strep risk . . . and then finally the midwife came in and said we'd move to my room soon. By this time, contractions were about 6 minutes apart and it was getting harder to relax through them. No more texting by this time.

Nurse Kelli came and guided us to our room - that walk down the hall must have triggered something, contractions came every four minutes starting then and their peaks were more intense. Trevor was AMAZING and just kept massaging and coaching me to relax. Our midwife, Pat, set up about four stations around the room for different ways I could labor in a rocking chair, birthing ball, window ledge. She was so respectful of our birthplan, and didn't check my cervix yet (I'd been reading how it can be discouraging to be checked often . . . if you're not progressing you can start to regress, etc.). This was maybe around 12:30pm. Pat left, the nurse went through a bunch of papers for us in between contractions, then Pat came in and out and helped Trevor coach me through some contractions ("Deep low noises! Relax after they peak"). Pat came back and maybe around 1:15 checked my dilation for the first time since arriving at the hospital: 6cm. Over half way there, and as I started to get more miserable (now resigned to bed on my side, grabbing the bed bars during contractions) she said, "You'll probably dilate a centimeter and hour from here - I think you'll have your baby by dinnertime!" And I was thinking, "Um, I can't take this until dinner time." It was getting seriously intense. Not long after that, I was shaking and sweating and having contraction one on top of the other and saying, "I can feel her RIGHT THERE!" And then I thought I had to go to the bathroom (which I knew is a classic feeling for being through transition and ready to push, but I was sure I couldn't already be fully dilated). I got to the bathroom, and the nurse said, "Don't push!" and then she left. And pretty soon I was screaming "I can't not push! Help me help me help me!" Trevor ran to the hallway, the midwife came back, she checked me again and said, "You're fully dilated and ready to start pushing!" That was maybe 1:45. In an instant there were several more people in the room prepping who knows what in a frantic way, it was obvious they were all very surprised (nurse Kelli later told me "I'm still getting over how fast that was"). Anyways, so push I did. Trevor tells me I completely calmed down after that and went into a real zone, resting between contractions and pushing with them as they came about every four minutes. With a few pushes Trevor could see Karis's head and I could feel it! I had heard that the sensation would feel like a ring of fire, and I would say that's exactly right. Pat said I wasn't going to be able to stretch enough for her head to get through without major tearing, so she strongly recommended an episiotomy. And I just said "Whatever you have to do" (so I like to think we had as natural a birth as we could have with no augmentation or pain relief . . . just needing some anesthesia at the very end when she was cutting). Within a few more minutes and a final push, Karis entered the world in one long sweep, crying beautifully as she was placed on my chest. As I write this, I would give anything to go back to that precious moment of seeing her face, looking at Trevor, and instantly knowing that she looked just like him (which I had SO been hoping for - truly!). Trevor said he cried as he watched her come out.

As I was being stitched up, Trevor went with Karis to the other side of the room to be weighed and to change her first diaper - it was beautiful to watch them, listening to Trevor talk to Karis, calling her "buddy" (to which the nurse, Paula, said "You can't call her buddy! Call her buddette!" For the record, she's still "buddy" to Trevor). He changed her first diaper, and then Karis came back to nurse, which she did for a full hour, a sweet time with Trevor by my side, holding the phone up for me as I called my mom and just savored those first moments of bonding. Then Trevor took his shirt off and put Karis to his skin. Next I was in the tub, then Trevor packed up our stuff and we followed nurse Laura to the room where we'd be staying the rest of our time. We got a little settled, and then went to the nursery to be with Karis when she got her first bath. I just fell in complete love with her desperate cry, her trembling lips, her fuzzy hair, the smell of her clean, soft skin. Words can't describe the feelings, the exhaustion, the elation, the complete joy of our first hours of being Karis's parents.

Trevor putting on Karis's first diaper. What a guy.

Can I say again how awesome Trevor was (and is, of course)? His support and encouragement and his love for his girls is overwhelming.

And lest this all sound fluffy, I should also mention the pain was horrible, I screamed like crazy, and many times yelled, "I can't do this!" And the miracle of birth is that I would do it all again.

And I will admit that the initial thoughts of "we have PLANS" were very real and that I felt very not ready. But it didn't take long to see that this was and is THE PLAN, and Karis came right on time. I can't imagine having had to wait another minute to meet her.

On the way from labor room to our "stay-over" room

First bath, how traumatic!

Home from the hospital

Trevor here. Andrea is the most "self-less" person I know, so time for a bit of info about her. We had attended the "Bradley" classes, had a great teacher, and prayed for, hoped, wanted a birth without drugs to support Karis in health, so Andrea could fully enjoy the feeling of holding our child right away, and minimize any side-affects that may happen. Andrea was unmedicated except for the antibiotic for infection, and did amazing. The hospital staff asked her if she was a runner, after seeing her heart rate and Karis's heartbeat through the birth. All the vital signs were good throughout. In the completely uncertain event of childbirth we take nothing for granted; length of labor, complications, health of mother and baby; it's a praise for how things went, and I will leave it at that.

So, I'm probably supposed to discuss my "feelings" and "emotions" and other things like that during the whole experience. My expectations were scant - who could know except when it happens? The night before, packing bags, driving to the hospital, walking down the looooonng hallway to the elevator, checking in, and sitting in the triage unit were all pretty chill. My mind was a bit unfocused, overwhelmed, but taking in every bit. Things got serious about noon in the birthing room as Andrea felt stronger contractions. She took it like a champ, through some of the worst pain I've seen someone go through. Glory to God, it was short lived, but the intensity looked pretty bad. All in all, I felt a bit useful throughout, as I spoke through contractions with Ang, constantly gave her water, snuck her bites of granola bar, guided her when she moved, and timed contractions to know when the next one might hit and how frequent they were coming. I cried when Karis came out. Not blubbering, just completely overwhelmed with love and awe. Spiritual is a word you could use to describe it. Other words might be getting hit with a train of love, or dumbstruck. Karis was so alert when she came out, looking around everywhere and not crying except 5 or 10 minutes when she first arrived and got cleaned up. As the nurse and I checked some vital signs she stared, gripped my finger, and looked to be loving life.

And now - we're 6 days into the adventure with some tired eyes and overflowing hearts at this child. She has continued to amaze us with how cute she can be, mustard diapers, and daily changes in appearance. Walks around the block have a new meaning. Eating dinner is secondary to the life laying in the bassinette. Getting out of bed... is still not fun. We're thankful and having so much fun with Karis.

Thank you for sharing the experience with us.