Why Not Party?

In chronological order, with some sprinklings of random thoughts . . . mostly a "ketchup blog". Hope it's yummy . . .


Men's Retreat/Mommy Fun Day
Trev enjoyed his time away with hiking in beautiful lands and laughing/connecting with guys. I (for the first time) really looked forward to a weekend with the kids to myself. Why for the first time? I don't know - it's just easier/more fun now . . . they're such good company - before, it felt a little lonely. OR perhaps I've chilled out a bit and can let loose now? Whatever the reason, I decided to do what Trev does when I'm gone: eat out, go to the mall, watch many movies. So fun. We met friends at the mall, Karis spent some birthday money at the Disney Store (Minnie Bow Tique).  Met cousins Lee/Caroline/baby Asher at Costco for insane Saturday shopping, samples, brats, ice cream. Winner dinner we brought home to eat while watching Frozen (Judah's first time).

1/2 Birthday for Karis
Not a super big deal here, but Karis enjoyed that we had a "nicer than usual dinner" with candles. Meatballs, because that's what happens around here. Ha!

New Things Week
There was a week in February where a bunch of new things happened for us:
- Life Group (a small group of lovely people who gather here every couple weeks)
- Gymnastics for K
- fillings (I have this crazy thing where I still miss my dentist from childhood and trusting me teeth to this place down the street feels odd)
- funeral (dear wonderful man, Hil Wondra - father of Aunt Debbie. It was an honor to celebrate his life). With Judah, new thing for him too.
. . . and I have to admit that a new thing every day in a week was stretching for me. I think I used to be up for many new things - but lately getting into the swing of new things feels unpredictable. Something about having kids and the unknown variables makes me squirm a little. Even the good things, I'm surprised sometimes at how much I love our little comfortable routine. And yet new things, once we're settled in, are so invigorating - now weeks later, the rhythms of Life Group and gymnastics have been so sweet for our family. And my teeth don't hurt anymore. And celebrating Hil's life, hearing Aunt Deb give a eulogy, singing the songs - while watching my little man play with the bulletins. All things new are often beautiful.

It's Complicated
Just a random thought here . . . one day I was thinking about how complicated things can be when Karis has good ideas. Like, putting a leash on her stuffed dog, and then Judah wants a leash, and we have to leave in 2 minutes, and the leash isn't working well for Judah and . . . all from a good idea. Later I remembered that I'm the same way. I get ideas, and things quickly get complicated. Hmmm.

THE TWINS ARE HERE!
We rejoice in the births of Calvin Kirk & Lexie Joann, born February 13. Their lives are precious and beautiful. Our side of the story is that we'd just had an early Valentine's Dinner with my parents at Milton's, and were all sitting down to watch some Veggie Tales before they left for the lake when we put the kids to bed. I hear a double gasp - they both got a text saying to not go anywhere, D & M were on the way to the hospital. Amazing! All the grandparents were able to be at the hospital and meet their grandchildren that night. What pure joy, they are thriving and their parents are awesome.

"Daddy go to China?"
(send me a message if you want to hear this Judah story)

Wrestling a Turkey
My mom graciously gave us a turkey, and I tackled it - not really a big deal now seeing it written, it  but at the time it felt like an event and I realized why people usually save turkeys for holidays! I enjoyed making the most of the meat into some meals and soup and having it handy in the fridge. But really, we wrestled, we got to know each other. Probably because I hadn't made one for 11 years and I'm sure it gets more tame with practice.

Blur of a trip to Bis
I headed west with the kids (left Trev at home to . . . well, what did he do?! Ha) to celebrate at my sister-cousin Sarah's baby shower. Super special, loved the time (minus the long drive with spots of bad roads). A highlight was getting to know my cousin's beautiful baby Lila, and watching Karis with Lila. Sweet bond already.

Star Wars
Memorable moment - while cleaning up dinner, I heard Karis crying upstairs so I run up and think surely she's been hurt. No, she's cuddled in bed with Trevor, reading the Star Wars book she gave him for Christmas (via taking Gma Nancy to Wal Mart, adorable). She managed to choke out through sobs, "It's just sooooo saaaaaddddd. Aniken died!". All while Judah is concerned and asking "Karisee okay? Karisee be better soon?". Oh my word, I was wanting to console her, exchanging looks of shock with Trevor, trying to not laugh, and attempting to take pics and video so she can see it someday (you would too!). Oh Karisee!

Make Room
This was our Lent theme, and brought a real lightness to the season. Making room - by putting some habits away . . . for me, it was covering the computer here in the morning through after lunch, and not checking facebook at all. Ended up being such a gift, and even got to be the chapel speaker at Karis's school one Friday and share about the Lenten journey here (mostly spoke from John 9, the healing of the man on the road who was blind - as does happen with such things, the preparation and execution blessed me way more than anything I said could have affected the audience). I'm hoping to keep these make room habits, the temptation to go on the computer in the morning is strong, but staying away from it is so much better for me and my fam.

House Anniversary Party
Why not? We've been here 3 years already, wowza. We rejoice. With meatballs, clearly. And Karis crafted root beer floats in fancy glasses.

Slugs and Bugs
The only music we listen to in the car these days. Hilarious and sweet. Try them.

Girls' Cabin Weekend (aka Karis gets an American Girl Doll/Judah goes to Build a Bear)
The 2nd annual guys-plan-a-weekend-away-for-their-wives weekend was so refreshing. No cooking, no errands, no plan. Lots of talks and sunshine and wandering and more talking. And while the cats away . . . well, Karis got tummy sick (bummer), they had dinner with all the Pope fam, and got to go to MOA with Gma and Gpa Pope - where dreams came true! Which leads me to . . .

Samantha
The newest member of our family is pure delight. She sleeps with Karis, has her own stool/place setting at the table (between Karis and Judah - he's even been welcoming). Karis home schools her, brings her outside to watch us play, carries her around, gives her food. Love her imagination. The kids had a blast at MOA (Judah got Marshall, a fire dog, at Build a Bear. Which he loved so much that his "Puppy Mudge" was thrown down the stairs when we got home. Now he's in the dog house (tent in the basement).

Birthday/Easter
They were on the same weekend this year, super special. I savored Maundy Thursday service by myself (sadly, Karis sick - just enough to have a sweet day of cuddles and lots of reading.) She became quite fascinated with Judas - which led to some talk and a few tears about how WE betray Jesus. We took some time to really wonder about the Last Supper, Jesus Washing Feet, his loneliness that night before his death. Good Friday we spent the morning with Uncle Steve & Aunt Deb (thanks for breakfast!) and got to see Gma N for a hand-off of egg hunt goodies (thank you!), before heading to a wonderful date at Milton's. When we got home K had choreographed a beautiful dance for her and Rose, their performance was stunning. Birthday bash was sweet - my lives-far-away-bestie sent a beautiful letter and snazzy coffee mug - I opened it by myself when I woke up that morning, so dear. My dear neighbor/sister-friend came over in the morning with coffee and flowers and hot cross buns, Karis and I got a date to the library and Old Maid at Dunn Bros (my faves and we had such fun). Rest, got to see the twins/D&M/my mom from outside (and received an awesome aunt t-shirt and yummy chocolate, thanks!) before going to Potbelly's and the Vigil (always so powerful - kids went in jammies, Judah asked questions in a whisper the whole time and thought some of the actors were "disobeying" - when they spoke with zeal and loud voices. Chocolate and alleluias and bells and baptisms). The day felt light. For memory sake, I'll say that Trev told people at church that my birthday is on Easter Sunday - he says he does know that it was the 26. Jury is out! Karis made the day so special with writing me books and notes and sending me on scavenger hunts to find them. I love her heart!  (and want to say, pre-birthday celebrations included Red Stag with my parents, Trev finding new reading chairs on Craigslist (generous gift from K&N, thank yous), me and the kids all getting haircuts at Snip Its, Dollar Store balloons . . .  a post birthday celebration with friends here on Easter Monday with our kids picnic-ing while we enjoyed quiet convo-with-chocolate in the kitchen, Momma Beth bringing treats and flowers and a catch-up for us and also for K & L . . . ). I receive God's love on my birthday, I hope to throughout the year too.

Easter Day was joyful and also different. We were tired (I was at least) and went through the motions feeling a bit foggy. Gma Nancy's caramel rolls started the celebration. Drove separate to church, Trev went to pick up his Grandpa while I took the kids home to do the egg hunt and make dinner (honestly, it was not hard, but it was lonely - I missed having a gang here to enjoy the kids with me!). I did try to enter the moments with joy and to soak in their wonder at finding eggs, stealing sweets off the counter . . . and one of my fave mental pics is their joy at seeing Grandpa Jim. So sweet. More another time about the realization that Easter is more than a day, it's a season (alleluia!) . . .

BABY POPE IS HERE!
Welcome to the world, Elodie Beth! We celebrate your life, our hearts are bursting - can't wait to meet you and cuddle! I was so thrilled to get an early morning text with the news of Elodie's birth. She is beyond beautiful, perfect, and her parents are amazing. It feels tempting to hop in the car and go squeeze that little baby. So grateful.

Grandpa/Grandma Sleepovers
We got Gpa Kirk to ourselves for a day, we enjoyed lunch and a walk around Minneapolis Institute of Art (until K's fingernail ripped off playing - thankfully strong Gpa was able to carry her languishing self to the car). Gpa played Old Maid, read Samantha, watched Mickey's Clubhouse, ate pheasant and shakshuka, and filled me and Trev in on a recent prayer breakfast in Bismarck. The next week we got a day with Gma Nancy and enjoyed a feast at Milton's, breakfast at Sun Street, a relaxed walk around a huge Bachman's nursery with Judah, and a ladies' lunch on Balsam with Karis after school. We treasure these times.

Judah's Baptism Birthday
Burgers, per tradition. With dear Dierker Godparents and Uncle T & Aunt K. Sweet time of togetherness, burger basket picnic, candle lighting and verse reading. We are thankful for Judah's precious spirit.

Sometimes Things Break
Like ovens. Cars. Daughters. All on the same day. It's life, right? I try to acknowledge the inconvenience and then realize that these things are small. And, they get us into creative/problem solving mode. Like, taking too sick for school but well enough to be in good spirits- Karis to get soup and crackers and . . . Best Buy to check out ovens. Deja Vu, we did that when the dishwasher broke. Movie of the day there was Star Wars, which scared her and captivated Judah.

Random Reading Quotes . . . 

From War & Peace (I just finished - felt momentous. Almost took a picture - loved the book, never would've read it if not invited by a gal from church to dig in with a group of great women):
" . . . that eternal human need for hope of relief, the need for compassion and action, which a human being experiences in a time of suffering . . . that eternal human need - noticeable in a child in its most primitive form - to rub the place that hurts. When a child hurts himself, he runs at once to his mother's arms, to have the hurt place kissed or rubbed, and he feels better once the hurt place is kissed or rubbed. The child does not believe that those who are stronger and wiser than he have no means to help his pain. And the hope of relief and the show of compassion comfort him, while his mother rubs his bump."

From Kitchen Table Wisdom:
". . . even children instinctively run to others when they fall down. Kissing the boo boo doesn't help the pain, it helps the loneliness."

From Jane of Lantern Hill:
"'No,' was all dad said. No is sometimes a horrible word, but there are times when it is beautiful."

From Your Three Year Old, Friend or Enemy
"Or, he will set up a 'nothing-pleases-me' situation in which, as when taken shopping, he does not want to go into the store, but at the same time refuses to stay in the car, and will howl bloody murder whichever alternative you choose" (for Judah this is, "I need uppa!" and then I go to pick him up and, "NO! I need DOWN!"

"It is not essential at this time to prove that you are the child's master. It is more important that you and he get through the day in one piece, with nerves not too badly frazzled"


Karis-isms:
- "Momma, what are these red bumps on my hand? Do I have measles?" (found out later she heard about measles in a book)
- "Judah's ruining my property!"
- "Babysitters are for having only fun - not doing things like cooking and cleaning like mommy"
- "It's a bit of a muddy day, may I please take my wares off outside?"
- "Did you mean to burn these beans?" (clearly doesn't appreciate roasted veggies)
- "Oh mom, I love you more than anything in the world. Except for Judah, I love him more" (HA!)
- "Want to come to my store? It's called 'Karis Penney' - like 'JC Penney'!"
- "Oh Judah, you look like an 8 year old with your hands in your pockets!"
- "Mom, I just bit my tongue unexpectedly?"
- "Oh, very well then" (said to a friend while playing dress up)
- "Mom I did a caricature of me and Judah just like the one of you and Drewey!"
- They're both into using paper bowls at steering wheels, "driving" around the house
- "It feels like someone's birthday, we're doing so many fun things!" (a Sunday afternoon at a furniture store, park, Potbelly's. Karis, please always stay this easy to please!)
- "I wish you could come with us!" (said through sobs when she and Trev were going to leave early for church in one car and me and Judah following behind. We all went together and it was wonderful and we've learned to listen to her sensitive spirit)
- "Oh well he ate all those puff balls on an empty stomach!"
- "It's in my bacteria" (when I asked where her headband is . . . this is what she stills calls the place behind her rocking chair. Love it)
- "Oh daddy, thank you for spring cleaning my room!" (they did - they did it well. Trev has a gift)
- "Well I don't know about that bed - I might just walk sleep right off it!"
- "I don't think I should go to school. There are some people that I really care about who are healthy and I might be tempted to bump into them and then I might get them sick. I can do school-y things at home. Yeah, I can homeschool!"

Judah Jabbers:
- "Momma, who cut my hair?" (asked while we drove by the place - crazy!)
- "I be contrary, mommy?"
- New fave books: More, More, More, Hungry Caterpillar
- "Mommy, what are you doing?" (putting in ponytail)  "Ohhh, it's beautiful!"
- "Karisee, you feeling okay? Karisee tired?" (as she laid on our bed during evening devotions)
- "Who turns it on?" (when reading about fire trucks, trains, anything that moves)
- He's really pretend playing now, lately "going on a roadtrip" (puts on his coat, my boots, wheels around Karis's suitcase)
- "I do!" (in the sweetest voice when you ask him a question. Love this)
- "Can I have some coconuts?" (when he saw a box of chocolates . . . took us a while to figure out the meaning)
- "Mommy, is there something ewwwwie in here?" (said while holding his nose as we walked into a dog hair cut place)
- "There's DEER POOP!" (said with glee in Bismarck)
- "Is it 'The Train that Could'?" (he wishes the book was called this instead of Little Engine that Could)
- "Little Penny!" (his name for the book Henny Penny)
- "Teddy bear is going to book club!"
- "Where did Peter go? Are they disobeying? Is the princess okay?"
- "How about we clip his fingernails" (his little toy frog)
- "Mommy please want to wash the beetle?" (please come wipe up this dead bug)
- "Is it common prayer?" (book of common prayer on the table)
- "I have to hit mommy!" (while walking down the aisle after communion. While hitting me)
- "It's in my tum tum tummy!"
- "Is it real? Is it pretend?" (baffled while coloring a hard boiled egg)
- "Judah has whiskers? Judah shave his whiskers?"
- When recently asked where does Jesus live, Judah replied, "In Neverland!"
- "Let's pray for Karisee's balloon" (he was so concerned about her balloon that flew away - my fault)
- "Are they HUGE? Are they GINORMOUS?!"
- "Daddy going to have wet hair?" (asks Trev before he goes on a run)
- "Judah's adorable?" (while looking at a pic I had just taken of him - last one below)

Three

Judah, when people ask you how old you are, you correctly and excitedly yet shyly answer, "I'm free!". It's like you know you're growing up and you both love growing up and want to stay little (or wait, am I projecting my feelings on to you?!).

A month later I'm able to write about you turning three, because I'm just so happy/sad about it all. Mostly happy, really. I did take the plunge to admit your age in a few concrete ways that have ended up being super fun and special.

 . . . Hair cut . . . 
The day we got home from Christmas in ND, it just had to happen. So it was the first thing we did that Monday morning we went to Kids Cuts - you enjoyed watching Cars (so did your sister) as Mallory gave you what she called "a hockey cut". Score. Call me crazy, but I think you've been happier now that you're clean cut.

. . . Doctor well check . . .

Karis had fun prepping you:
"Judah, can you count to ten? Judah, is this an A or a B? Judah, can you draw a triangle?"

- 38.25 inches (66%)
- 32.8 lbs (60%)

Mary Lou said, "He has such a nice build" and she was clearly delighted in who you are. She asked if you knew your colors, so we pointed to the chalk and asked what color it was. Your answer: "bubblegum". Judah! You looked at her blankly with every question she asked you (how old are you? what did you eat for breakfast? . . . ). I laughed and told her how chatty you usually are. Ha! You calmly let Mary Lou take a look at you while you sat in my lap and she also commented on what a cuddly guy you are. She assured me you'd potty train in a day once I decide to do it (ha). Yes! I love who you are, Judah - through and through. The nurse took you to "play games" and she said most your age won't cooperate, but that you did and you also "won" the games.

I felt both light and grateful after the appointment, the reminder of these healthy & happy children. And then I also felt the happy/sad heart-sick feeling - it all zooms by so fast.

Judah, on Monday morning you brought me the book Love You Forever. You and Karis settled in my lap on the rocking chair in your room, I took a deep breath and told myself I wouldn't cry. Yeah, right - haven't read that one for a long time and by the last few pages both me and Karis were dissolving and you were sweetly making sure we're okay: "Karis-ee okay? Karis-ee better?". Started the week with proper perspective and it's beyond true: "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be."

. . . going to the Preschool class  . . . 

3 year olds at our church are welcomed to transition out of the nursery and into "Mrs. Hoffner's class". So, you did it! You've been in the nursery almost every week since you were in the moby wrap, so this was a leap. You loved it and walked confidently back to me afterwards with papers in hand - you talked about play dough and friends. Oh Judah, so big!

Some things that make you YOU:

You love to build towers. Your latest is taking every book in your room and stacking them ALL against the wall - when you get up from your nap, you have to check on it and show me your hard work: "My book tower!".

You sometimes come up behind me and give me a huge hug. I melt. I think your sister is teaching you so much about how to show your love, and I know God has given you a very special heart that is strong and sensitive.

Recently you slipped down the last couple stairs while carrying your sleeping bag around - daddy ran to get you and you had your sad-trying-not-to-cry-face and then melted into our upward carrying arms. Strong and sensitive. Brave and vulnerable.

You kicked me in the face (pretty playfully during a diaper change) and then laughed - when I told you it hurt, you asked me if you could "kiss it better". And you did.

You love timers (thus so do I): "Nap timer!" "Dinner timer!" "Diaper timer!" "Time to go timer!"

You love to count! You ask me to "Count to ten mommy!" before we change your diaper. You love counting so much, it works in the way I've seen other parents use (and never understood HOW that worked?). I count to five and you can either do what I'm asking or I'll do it for you (e.g. "You walk to the car or I'll carry you" . . . ).

You still "hop to mommy!" when we get in the car, go to bed, go to the door to get ready.

You adore boots and shoes and slippers (you always have). Especially Karis's. Especially the pink ones.

You are loyal to Karis (I tell you she is teaching you how to love, and she is - because her loyalty to you is fierce). You'll ask her while we're rocking/reading, "Karis-ee, please you want to join us?" or "Karis-ee time to come down! Are you coming down, Karis-ee?" Sometimes you give her random hugs, you started initiating ideas for play, and you let her dress you as Elsa for your dance parties.

You ask us to "kiss it better" when you get hurt, and you also kiss our hurts better.

You're very carnivorous, and fave foods include meat. And meat. And meat. You throw in some smoothies, edamame, corn, applesauce, raisins, french toast, waffles, purple cheerios, "broccoli eggs" for a balanced diet.

You hum and sing to yourself, often "Twinkle Twinkle" "Jesus Loves Me", "Away in a Manger" and "ABC's". You seem to love your own company.

You're still waiting for us to potty train you (actually, every time I ask you say "NO potty train! Get an m & m?"

Your room is evolving into your own and you rearrange its contents at every sleep time: Mickey Mouse sleeping bag and blanket. One "Olaf" slipper. Lots of books either strewn around or in towers. A stuffed fox, bunny, R2D2. You sometimes sleep in bed, mostly on the sleeping bag and always right by your night light. At naptime, you sometimes empty all your drawers and lay in the middle of your clothes. Or, build "wipe towers".

You're super concerned about others' emotions, and can tell emotional facial expressions in books: "He's sad. He's okay". Or if I seem overly excited, even in a good way: "Mommy you okay?". Or if Karis gets hurt, you go up to her and say, "Karis-ee, you be okay? We pray for Karis-ee?"

You're already into "Little House" and carry around Winter on the Farm: "What is Almonzo doing?"

You love the story of Jonah, in any form: "I want please read it to me? The big whale! It's Ninevah!"

You love your friends and get so excited to see Teddy, Cisco, Micah, Liam, Mitchell.

Your language reminds me of Yoda: "Please want you to build legos . . .please want you to help pull up pants" . . .

You think about people all the time . . . you often ask, "Momma, who gave this to me?" "Where is Mitchell?" "What is Grandpa Kirk doing?"

You also ask about inanimate objects, "What is the candle doing? What is the chip doing?" . . .

You love being silly and making hilarious laughing faces - you even fake laugh just to crunch up your nose and crinkle your eyes and practically snort.

You both want to do everything yourself and want me to do everything for you (depending on what it is, of course).

You have plenty of meltdown moments, and if I can get to your level and get you into my arms, you'll sometimes bury your head and just have a good cry. It must feel so good to cry - you're so little and have such big feelings.

You carry around "Puppy Mudge" everywhere (after listening to Henry & Mudge books in the car).

You are so exuberant - when you discover something that gives you delight you run to me just bursting with joy in your face and body, wanting me to enter into your jubilation.

You have a sweet bond with your daddy, you love to cuddle on his shoulder, read Star Wars books with him, and lay on the floor with him before bed ("Daddy, go to sleep!")

You ask to cuddle, and you sometimes back up to us to be lifted into our lap for some book reading.

You main mode of transportation: skipping and galloping.

It can take a reallyyyyyyy longggggggg time to read a book because you love to ask questions: "What is it? Where did the mommy go (you're always very concerned about the mommy)? What IS that? What is the sheep doing?"

Your birthday celebrations:
The day of your birthday, Karis helped wake you up with singing! You came upstairs and had a meaty breakfast on a Mickey Mouse plate, surrounded by Happy Birthday balloons (a Mickey Mouse one, too). Karis gave you the things she picked out the day before: a little skate board, deodorant, a new toothbrush. We (gpa and gma P, Karis, mom) went to the Heritage Center in Bismarck . . . you got to watch part of Toy Story in the theater and wouldn't you know - the main character was having a 3rd birthday party! We wandered to the tree house and then found a tractor simulator (took a while to get you off that one). Panini  & dinosaur cookie lunch and home for a nap to rest up for . . . your pizza party at Grandma Carole's. You got a scooter from her and wheeled around all night, pure joy.

The next afternoon we had an "office party" at Nexus, you ran around (with puppy Bear!) and fully got into people singing for you. You filled up on juice and snacks and ruled the roost.

And then a couple weeks ago we appropriately spread out the celebrations - by taking out the Mickey plates and cake mix cookies for some singing with the Dierkers. You and birthday buddy Lukas were beaming, and so were the sisters Eliza & Karis.

Things I hope you hear me say:
"I love who you are", "I love the exact age you are", "God has made you a very special child and he has a good plan for your life", "I'm so thankful for your life, I love being your mommy", "You have an amazing big sister", "you are so funny", "you're safe", "I'm on your team"

You started saying with me your baptism verses while I change your diaper, and what a powerful prayer these Words are: "I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ might give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, that you might know Him more. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, that you might know the hope to which He has called you. His glorious inheritance in the saints and His incomparably great power for those who believe" (Ephesians 1:17-18).

A day in your life right now:
We never really know when you wake up, because I'm pretty sure you roll around on your floor and love being alone (reminds us of your daddy! you love sleep). We go get you by 7:30 so we have time to cuddle and read (you would do this forever it seems like, but we have to get out the door at 8 so we do our best). We get you dressed for the day (you love: "camo pants! airplane shirt! guitar shirt! lumber jack shirt!") and head downstairs (pootsie in hand). You sometimes eat breakfast right away, sometimes, "put it in a baggie, Mommy!" (french toast, "broccoli egg", string cheese, smoothie). You "hop to Mommy" by going to the fireplace and then counting to five and running to me arms for me to help you get ready for the car. You ask, "Drop off Karis? Go to chapel?" and you soak in her school's morning assembly, in my arms singing or making hilarious faces to me and saying "Hi Mommy" when you know you're supposed to be quiet. Our mornings together are so fun! You love Tuesdays at the church nursery, trips to Trader Joes ("look for Wally! Get a lolly!", and you push the little cart sometimes). Other days we often go visiting - friends, playdates, meal deliveries . . . you're a great little buddy and you love going anywhere. You often ask, "Listen Katie & Big Snow?" You enjoy your own company, and you often hum to yourself as you build towers and trains and roll trucks along on the ground (your favorite things). You chatter and ask a ton of questions (even when you know the answer) in the sweetest voice. You love to read Little Blue Truck when we wait picking up Karis around noon. You're often munching a pb sandwich on our way to get her, and when we get home I carry you right up to nap. Sometimes you bang around and sing and play and build book towers for a long time . . . Karis and I sneak peaks of you in the video monitor. We wake you up at 3 and we often rock in your chair and read and let you have a slow wake up for up to 45 minutes before heading down for a snack. You and Karis bundle up and head outside, and you have so much fun together sliding on ice, sledding, eating snow. You come in and un-bundle and have hot chocolate and then play and play. Sometimes we do a bath before dinner-time, you go through phases of enjoying it (for a while you pretended to be pooping so that we'd panic and take you out - quite the game you had there) but lately it's good times. You adore your "moose pajamas" (used to be minions, those were cute too). They're too big and so comfy and adorable, you little squishy man. Then we cuddle and read ("Read train book? Read prayer book?") and then you beg to "Watch the tractor movie!". It's a show gma gave you and it's really just that: tractors. I set the timer, you and Karis watch for a few minutes while I get dinner on the table . . . when the timer goes off, you run to the table exclaiming, "Dinner timer!". You eye your plate suspiciously, if it's familiar you devour and if not it depends (rice goes down fast. mashed potatoes are the enemy. meat always wins). Then you either dance to a piano song or sit in dad's lap for a Star Wars book. You and Karis go upstairs with daddy for "gummies! moose jammies (your very favorite)!" or "Engine Turtles!" (Ninja, your other fave). Then we all go in mommy/daddy's room - we read the Bible (you play with the bookmark) and we pray. You've started asking us to pray for people: "And grandpa and grandma and Roger and Kim and Chelsea and . . . .". Then you and daddy "go to sleep" (lay on the floor) while I tuck Karis in . . . I come back and you wind up to hop to mommy. You nuzzle in to my arms and I carry you to your room - you turn on your noise machine . . .  we rock and read the Hug a Bible and sometimes you want to give it a hug. You lay your head on my shoulder with your pootsie while I pray, and then you look at me with a little smirk and ask, "Pray for Judah one more time?" Of course. And then you lay down in my lap and I zip up your sleep sack and we sing "Jesus Loves Me", turn out the light, put you in bed, I close the door. And then, thump thump thump thump - you're out and you're happy and I'm not sure what you do in there until you fall asleep but you're pretty quiet and delighted to be in your room. And you sleep blessedly through the night, thanks to trusty pootsie and your thumb. Did I mention you love your thumb? You squishy boy, your life is a gift. I'm blessed to be your mom, and I entrust your life to the God who formed you - what joy to watch creation unfold through your life.

A couple recent reads made me think of you . . .

From Plan B by Anne Lamott:
"Parents grieve as their babies get bigger, because they imagine the cannot imagine the child will ever be so heartbreakingly cute and needy again. [her son] is a swirl of every age he's ever been, and all the new ones, like cotton candy, like the Milky Way. I can see the wonder of the toddler, the watchfulness of the young child sopping stuff up, the busy purpose and workmanship of [older ages] . . . "

And this line from a recent fave book of your's really sums it up:
"And the snow
while it is here,
reminds us of this:
that nothing lasts forever
except memories."
(Snow, Cynthia Rylant)

The Word(s)

(still to come, the 12 days of Christmas. And admitting that Judah is 3. But for now, gotta get down the now):

Keeping the tradition of framing the new year around a word . . . this time it's a phrase:

Love in Action. 

I spent some time in December reading through 1 John, and it just hit me. Especially 3:18.
"Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and truth. This is then how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything."

And then of course on the drive back to MN after Christmas, that was a highlighted verse on a random radio show.

And then, days later I read these quotes (in The Happiness Project):
"Love proves itself by deeds, so how am I to show my love? Great deeds are forbidden me. The only way I can prove my love is by . . . every little sacrifice, every glance and word, and the doing of the least actions for love"
- St. Therese of Lisseux

So there it is. Simple but not.

And to turn 180 here, the lighter side, some 2016 so far:

I've been just laughing lately. January must be for laughing. After picking up Dad is Fat at the library I was almost in laughter tears reading the intro. In the library. People were probably wondering. I read a page here or there while the kids are playing, and I've realized I laugh harder when I read it in their presence. Comedic truth is hilarious when your watching the subject.

Dance parties. I've been going through my "hit songs" piano book with the kids . . . as I write this, Trevor just got done singing along with me to "Everything I do, I Do it For You" (lots of history there, Robin Hood Prince of Thieves is one we watched while dating. You know, 20 years ago. WHAT?!). Karis told him he was singing too loud. This has quickly become a new tradition - one song after dinner, Karis dances and Trev takes a break in the wing chair and Judah either dances or brings a Star Wars book to Trev.

More dance parties. Trev recorded himself singing "That's My Daughter in the Water" and the kids love playing it on their CD player and dancing (Judah prefers wearing Karis's pink slippers. Obviously).

Living, growing things in the house (besides children). We were given a lily plant by neighbors (from their wedding), Trev was excited to have something green and alive here. And then one grandma gave us a fairy garden (it grows grass and beans) and another grandma and indoor Amaryllis plant. And so, Karis has some things to take care of (besides Judah).

Small randomness. We were driving down 169 one day to drop some things off a ways south, and I wanted to do something fun with the kids after the driving but didn't want to drive any more . . . and then, we passed the Depot coffee shop, right by where we used to live. Oh my word, the kids loved it - CARAMEL MILK! On a comfy couch. And all sorts of things to get into and adults to disturb! We didn't overstay our welcome, but it was a huge score for simple treats and memory lane.

Wonderful winter weekends. One weekend for Grandpa Jim's 95th birthday (wow!), included a McD's date for kids with J & C, and fairy garden assembly with Gma L.  Another weekend was me leaving on a children's leader's team retreat (amazing) while Karis got strep (awful) and grandma and grandpa were here to help hang out and be with Judah while K was at the doc with daddy. So grateful. Oh, and they got to watch the Bronco's win together. Oh, and while I was gone Trevor reorganized some of "my" kitchen (and I had to put some things back, sorry honey - because let's be real, like it's "your" garage, it's "my kitchen". Yes, we're "traditional" like that and it works).

Good movies watched. When Marnie Was There. A good old re-watch of Dan in Real Life (still love it). In the middle of The Legend of Arietty.

Shoveling. The kids love shoveling (well, the novelty is wearing off already, but it worked when it counted. Thanks minions).

Donut date with D & M, Judah & I loved the quality time together at Yo Yo (and the marshmallow donut, so fun to watch him decide).

Christmas party date. Why not have the work Christmas party at the end of January? Super fun, we found a quiet corner table and talked to the same people the whole time (introvert side heaven - lots of people around but quality connection with a few). Refreshing to be out with my hub on his turf.

No tech time. Instituted by my wise husband (who is on technology all day). I'm on technology in hyper snippets throughout the day and so this is probably the biggest change for me - and so good. We sit in the toy room on the wing chairs and talk. Imagine that! Refreshing.

Keeping it real. Not without reality here, plenty of it. One day Karis fell into my arms saying, "I just don't like when I'm not perfect". Preach it, girl! We are here to teach other about Grace, and I'm grateful. We are all making mistakes around here, and giving Grace and trying to receive it (that, to me, is the hardest part). Trevor is navigating lots of change at work. I remain a thermometer to my family and still needing reminders of solid ground. Always trying to pay attention to our habits of relating and living together. And yet just chill out and enjoy the ride, right?

What I'm reading/recently read: The Middle Place, Dad is Fat, A Little Salty to Cut the Sweet, Jane of Lantern Hill, War & Peace, As for Me and My House, Notes From a Blue Bike, Plan B

What Karis is reading (more like what we're reading together): The Hundred Dresses, Mr. Popper's Penguins, The Five Dog Night, Fun in the Sun, A Bear Called Paddington, Hans Brinker (picture book)

She's busy sounding things out and soaking in language and trying out words - love it.

What Judah is reading: Snow (Cynthia Rylant), A You're Adorable, The Story of the Snow Children, Love You Forever, Otis, Bedtime Rhymes, Little Blue Truck, Goodnight Goodnight Construction Site, Jonah Golden Book

What Trevor's been reading lately (oh my word, get ready):
Prometheus Bound, History by Herodotus, Lords of the Sith (Star Wars),  Thucydides: The History of the Peloponnesian War, Plato: Statesman

A little reading not-coincidence, stories (specifically ones around the kitchen table . . . 
Paying attention to reading the same thing in two different places in one day . . .

From A Little Salty to cut the Sweet (this book ends with a chapter called "That Whole Table Thing is Pretty Symbolic, Y'all" and she is HUGE on family togetherness around the table): 
". . . you stay with it, and you get after it, and you love each other, and you forgive each other, and you keep coming back to the table. And once you're there, you sit down, and you settle in, and you remember. You share your stories. The table is where He links the generations, where He prompts us to join hands and bow heads and remember and laugh and pass our stories back and forth to each other . . .  as we share our stories with those people God has specifically ordained to walk with us on this side of eternity - and they share their stories with us - we see the sacred in the ordinary. We see the profound in the mundane. We see the joy in the day to day. We see the hand of God writing a much bigger story - a story of rescue and redemption and hope and glory. Right here in the middle of the hilarious and the tragic and the sublime and the sad. We have to share our stories with them (our children). We have to write them down, we have to say them out loud, we have to put away our phones and close our computers and linger at the table long after the meal is over. We have to make much of what God has done in our lives and what He continues to do . . .after all, why in the world would we keep our firstand experiences with His faithfulness, His grace, His kindness, His mercy, and His joy to ourselves?

From Kitchen Table Wisdom
"The more we listen, the clearer that Story becomes. Our true identity, who we are, why we are here, what sustains us, is in this story. The stories at every kitchen table are about the same things . . . Stories about God. In telling them, we are telling each other the human story. Stories that touch us in this place of common humanness awaken us and weave us together as a family once again."


Karis-isms: 
- "We're so blessed this car was taken care of so well! Grandma and daddy took such good care of it" (mini Trevor - she will take good care of her things!)
- "Did Jesus REALLY die on the cross? "
- "Is tucking me back in the favorite part of your night?" (I hope it's okay I said yes, even though at 3am I'd rather keep sleeping. Sweet tender girl)
- "Is the teria in your back?" (asking Gpa Kirk about bacteria, while cuddling with him on the couch in the middle of a fever)
- "Mom, I just don't like pushing trucks around like Judah does. It just looks really tiring" (HA! I'm doing some reading on the psychological basis for these differences, so we had a quick chat about that)
- "Mommy, are book clubs important?"
- "I can't wait to go to the hot lock!" (church potluck)
- "I gotta go work on my bacteria" (what she now calls the place behind her rocking chair . . . always evolving)
- "Mom, Judah got into my bacteria and instead of yelling, I just asked him to keep his arms down at his sides!" (HA!)
- Karis LOVES babies. Loves them (pic below). She's practicing for all the cousins she'll have soon!
- She's really into telling time, amazing to watch her make sense and take ownership of it
- Her new stations include taking care of mini dolls . . . feeding, napping, setting up a play pen. Pretty adorable
- "I made an ice rink in back!" (indeed, found a patch of ice and loved sliding on it)
- "Can you play the 'vitamin in D'?" (Canon in D - hilarious)

Judah jabbers: 
- "Where did the blue car go?" (can we please stop talking about this?)
- "Wa wa wa wa wa wa what IS that?!" (asked about everything)
- "What's Totoro's mommy doing?" (lots of questions about mommies - where are they, what are they doing. Adorable)
- "I made a choo choo train! CHOO CHOO!" (while at a friend's home for tea - the train was made out of stools. There was also a pillow tower. He also played hide and seek with their cat and went into our hosts bedroom un-invited)
- "What is it doing?" (said to anything, including inanimate objects like food, books, toys)
- "I have to disobey mommy!" (in such a sweet voice and doe eyes - so hard to keep a straight face)
- "You want please read it to me?"
- "I want to go potty training - get an m & m!"
- "I want my monkey hat, mommy! Climbing to get my monkey hat!"
- "Go inside, mommy" (sincerely, wanted me to go back inside while he played in the snow)

"Still, Still, Still"

Let's just pretend that it's "Still, Still, Still" Advent . . .  because as I hit that little "publish" button, Advent is now a memory, and how I love memories. They simmer and I savor. I love to think about the good times, what we've learned, how we've grown. The perspective time gives, the way things do work together for the good, the way usually the "cream rises to the top".

Something significant happened here on Dec. 3 . . . in the form of a car accident. About 2 minutes after it happened and I realized we were all okay, I thought about how I craved a simple Advent . . .and how this might force us further into that hope. It was horrible (and yet in the grand scheme of accidents, probably not awful). But to me, horrible. Hit and run at a 4 way stop, impact on Judah's side, turned us around, Judah's air bags went off . . .and, we were completely unscratched. Car totaled, we had not a mark. Maybe sounds Pollyanna-ish, but for sure the Graces and Mercies that followed far outweighed any harm caused by this rattling event. I could go on and on (and I just might). And again, memory can be a beautiful thing sometimes, when I choose to focus on the Redeeming ones. Ready? My best friend and her 2 littles were right behind us . . . sweet Marissa watched it happen, Becky pulled over. She helped me with Judah (who, mercifully, was upset for a short time and then settled into his car seat for at least an hour). She prayed for me. Trevor zoomed to us. Amazing police men. We were completely unhurt. The friend who was supposed to come over that morning has also been in an accident and her empathy over the phone was a gift. It was a clear and sunny day, chilly but bearable to stand and figure things out. Trev was able to drive the car home. Insurance -wow - we know our agent (her wife is an acquaintance of mine through a play group, wild) - kind people, new car seats, doctor check ups, some chiro care. Our sister in law loaned us her car for a week, Trev bused/biked and he was pure grace and mercy to me over and over. Connecting with family. The day after I met a dear friend for coffee and she pulled monster cookies out of her purse - I had burned some to a crisp earlier that day, so I just laughed at that simple but significant-to-me gift. The mercies went on and on, including Trev's parents were already selling a car and we were able to use the total loss coverage to purchase.

That said, what I wouldn't give to have lingered 3 more seconds or left the school 3 seconds earlier . . . to have my blue car back . . . to not be receiving insurance & police calls or filling out paperwork or trying to figure out if we should keep going to the chiro . . . or feeling like every car is coming at me . . . or the triggered anxiety that I sometimes have to face head on . . . or hearing the kids continue to make sense of it all when I'd rather not talk about it.

And I wonder - we were so very unhurt and provided for, and wow the people who aren't and are hurt and are having to use every bit of insurance they have. Well, we receive the Grace. And feel more awareness for those whose reality from accidents is different.

Well, moving on. December was a quiet and meaningful season here. Especially in retrospect.

A couple songs that marked the season 

Still, Still, Still. 

King of Heaven Come Down

Making Stations
Karis makes "stations" (her term) all around the house and I love it. The latest is of course surrounding the Christmas tree . . . her creation evolves every day with more chairs, more paper, more books, more stuff. Stuff. Lots of stuff. Her room - lots of stuff, lots of stations.

I Say No Mommy! (that's much better)
Oh Judah. He loves to contradict me (if I say the sky is blue today, he responds "No Mommy sky not blue!"). So, if I say "Stop. Speak kindly please" he'll respond, "Hi, Mommy! That's much better" (after hearing me say "that's much better" over and over). I love that boy so.

Playing in Carseat boxes
Well, thanks insurance, for the beautiful new car seats! And of course for the boxes, what fun.

Decorating School
Part of the inward hunkering down helped me choose quieter things this season. On a morning I was supposed to go to the church for a narration study that I love, people were decorating Christmas trees at Karis's school. Our besties were there and it ended up being a highlight of Advent - we found a cozy basement room (BASEMENTS. Did you know I love basements? I do) and set up a tree and watched our littles run around and watched our bigs come and go in the rhythm of their school day. Thank you spontaneity, sometimes you know best.

Belated Celebration
Happy 30th b-day, little brother (way late and not at Valley Fair as promised. Next year?). Tiny Diner, Bogart Donuts, Bryant Lake Bowl, getting candy at Uncle's office. It's clear that Uncle Drew's (very belated) 30th b-day celebration was the most fun for Judah. It was a sweet morning of having some little S. Mpls adventures together, happy happy birthday!

Some old time reading . . . after Heidi I leaped into Robinson Crusoe:
"I spent the whole day in humble and thankful acknowledgement of the many wonderful mercies . . . which my condition was attended with, and without which it might have been infinitely more miserable."

Oh, that was timely. Thank you, Robinson.

Celebration of Carols & Lessons
This is a tradition at Karis's school (their version of a Christmas program) and the time was memorable, beautiful, special. Grandma N & Grandpa K & Drew & Mel were there (thankfully Judah listened to Mel's instruction for "shhhh"!). We sang and celebrated and then continued the weekend with an early Christmas here with grandma's meatballs and an afternoon viewing of Frozen (after a morning of play at Eden Prairie Center that included a quiet Barnes and Noble coffee date for me and Trev. Early present!). Oh, and Friday morning we did Nicolett Island Inn breakfast and a run around Macy's Santa Land for Judah. So festive.

Star Wars!
A highlight for Trev that needs to be mentioned. Rave reviews from this fan and I hope to see it with him soon.

Early Celebration ala Karis
Karis spent much of Advent busy in her room making presents for our little family. She made notes to remind us that the Tuesday before we left for Bismarck is the day we were to open these gifts. The day came, we enjoyed a candlelight meatball dinner (thanks grandma Nancy!). We gathered in the toy room for some piano and singing, and she brought down all the gifts. Lots of baggies, each with a piece of paper labeled "present" inside. We were warned that some were to borrow, some were to keep. They were chosen with creative care and I for sure melted watching her hand us our gifts - a hand-sewn dog for Judah with his initials. A bag of quarters for me to use at Aldi (I've been without/losing mine occasionally!). Rubber duckies. Other miscellanea from her room. We usually do Epiphany gifts (3 simple ones - sometimes an experience instead of a tangible), but we gave the kids the books we'd gotten - Mr. Popper's Penguins for Karis. She squealed, to have her very own copy. That sweet girl, exploding with joy. Judah got Animals of the Bible, he didn't squeal. We ended with ice cream and appropriate parenting gushing and mushi-ness.


More random Memories:
- Judah loves "Oh Christmas Tree", "Hark the Herald Angels Sing" and reading Christmas in the Barn
- Do you wanna build a snowman? Of course! Daddy will help you
- They both love dancing while I play carols on the piano
- This year's fave Christmas books for Karis are Peter & Lotta's Christmas and Christmas Tree Memories
- Judah's are Room for a Little One, Christmas is Here, Christmas in the Barn
- Together they love turning off all but the Christmas tree lights and dancing to a CD of Canon in D or the Nutcracker
- Being home. We were just home a lot. We talked on the way back from Thanksgiving about keeping things simple (hello, car accident forced that on us in some ways) and inviting people into our home. We enjoyed time with a random co-worker of Trev's here for Elk, dear neighbor framily over for meatball dinner and candlelight Advent readings, more framily for a Sunday hang with treats and talk
- "Gym day" with dear friends, kids ran off energy while moms talked each other off the ledge of holiday hyperactivity
- Watching for our Christmas lights to come on outside
- Spending a snowy cold morning at precious Eliza's dance recital
- Evening candlelight devotions. The People Walking in Darkness . . . Have Seen a Great Light!


To be continued . . .The Twelve Days of Christmas (cue music)

Karis-isms: 
- "Oh, I just love your car so much!"
-"Momma, did the police men write a note to the governor about your accident so he can know about it?"
- "Isn't it just so magnificent! I just really want to try to draw this doll house" (after reading Becky's Christmas)
- "Judah, that's enough!"
- "All right, we took off all our wares!"
- "It's the grand finale!"
- "Judah, Karis-ee has to go to school, and you get to go on a date with Drew-ey!"
- "Judah, Karis-ee made you a DOG! Do you like it?"
- "The lights came on!"

Judah Jibes: 
- "Mommy's car got a scrape!"
- "Little man helped mommy!"
- "Mommy was sad in blue car"
- "Becky pray mommy"
- "Mommy pray Judah" (before bed now, and he nuzzles in and doesn't seem to want to let go . . . )
- "Toast casserole!" (he loved a recent french toast casserole)
- "No mommy! Sky's not blue!"
- "Grandma Grandpa come Christmastime!"
- "Daddy at spaceship!" (mis understood "car dealership" on our way to pick up Trev)
- "I say NO MOMMMY! Hi Mommy. That's much better"
- "Ahhh, I think . . . change diaper!"
- "Ahhhh, I think . . . pray for Judah one more time!"
- "We go on Drewey date!"
- "I poop at other table at restaurant"
- "It's Tiny Diner!" (while pretending to cook. Ha!)
- "Mommy where are you? Mommy what are you doing?" (in cutest voice)
- "What are you making, Mommy?"
- "Where are we gonna go, Mommy?"

Little Pumpkins Grow Too Fast

The recent happenings . . . 

Another weird week and other thoughts

(A really long time ago now) Karis had her first sick day . . . the perfect amount of not feeling well, enough to cuddle and yet be active. Savored that time with her (and an afternoon viewing of Aristocats). We also made it (miraculously) to Best Buy for a dishwasher. I'm scared to think of what the guy thought of us - maybe "whoa, here's an easy sell, a highly distracted mom . . . ". The kids were hilarious and lost parts of their innocence watching James Bond and listening to Tom Petty while I finalized the decision.

The real stuff that I know I'll look back on and think "whoa, that was SIMPLE" . . .Trevor's been working long and hard and under frustrating circumstances. I've realized part of the trickle down is that I'm a thermostat (up and down according to the temp of those around me). Harder still is that I love to help, and I feel so helpless. So much growth, and I so pray to grow well. My attitude is not always stellar (huh, Trev?). He's a man of character and loyalty, I'm thankful for him and also for the work he's been given.

And not so long ago, we had a week of croup that timed so perfectly (right before Thanksgiving). Steroids, I am a believer. And mercy, the timing was so perfect and I feel so grateful (and yes, often undeserving) of the health we usually enjoy. This same week, a dear friend has a friend who lost their 8 month old daughter . . . started with croup and ended as a sad story - and yet filled with triumph as the family testified to the hope of Heaven and One who loves Ivy in a way we can't comprehend.

Which reminds me of the lesson here lately that I've been pondering: solid ground. Learning to find it no matter what is going on around me . . . these are the days, I know that, and I don't want to miss them by standing on sinking sand. See quotes from the Happiness Project below -  enjoying today and building good habits in the good times that will help us be unshakable when circumstances swirl.

Aside from all this, I often wonder what my kids will remember about their growing up years. That mental/heart filter helps me to set the atmosphere in the home. Not going for perfection here, but there's nothing like these littles to expose and refine. Loving it, really.

Reveal/60/40
Whoa, a whirlwind and wonderful weekend of celebration for my parents' 40th anniversary, mom's 60th birthday and D & M's "reveal" that they are having a boy and a girl. Hot Plate, Arboretum, YUM, together. What a sweet season.

Halloween
Cousin & aunt and uncle & framily time with the dear Dierkers made this holiday hilarious and refreshing. Lots of elk for dinner , lots of candy, lots of kids running around. Karis was Mary Poppins (spent the day making her own hat), Judah was in Mickey Mouse halloween jammies and a minion hat, I mimicked him and put on my pajama pants, Trev rocked being Trev. A little trick or treating, lots of catching up, moms "cleaning up" while dads took kids around the 'hood', some watching Over the Hedge. Just right.

Baptism Birthday
Verses, pictures, books, candle lighting, burgers. What a reminder to us all, being welcomed to the family with joy.

Sneaking Candy
Pic right below, Karis and I snuck up to my room while the boys were occupied downstairs - picked out a piece to have right before her baptism birthday dinner. Selfish motives (hello, Reeses) help me remember to have more fun. Why not?

Writing Books
Laura books. Barbie books. Books about school. Books about family. Karis loves to write. Her first sounded out/spelled sentence: "We wint to dsny wrld" (or something like that, I tragically can't find the paper).

Girls' Weekend/Boys' Weekend
Judah and Trev enjoyed some quality time while I played with the girls . . . here for a baby shower and some November birthday bliss. Refreshing, for all I think. And hey, the "other boys" got their elk - hooray!

Shenanigans
Judah's. At naptime. Hilarious. Picture below. The picture I can't post is of when I went in a different time and he was completely naked - with all his clothes/diaper put back in their proper places . . . and saying, "I want a new bed!". This happened a couple times and then the antic disappeared. Oh that boy.

Karis and I found the perfect book for her - to articulate her wish to stay young: I Like to Be Little (Charlotte Zolatow). It's articulates us here entirely, you need to go read it. The little girl explains why she wants to stay little while the mom keeps asking her why and affirming her thoughts. At the end, the mom explains how when you're older and have your own little daughter you get to be little again. YES. Love.

Basement reno (a start)
Oh bless my friend Becky, who I think maybe was tired of me complaining about our basement and offered to help stain the floor. So simple, so satisfying - a Saturday morning with gal pals, donuts and paint gave us a toy room. Hooray!

Car Rides
Essential now to every night when Trevor comes home. CAR RIDE DADDY! They sit in his lap and he does a little lap around the cul de sac. I love watching these memories in the making.

Star Gazing
First with neighbor babysitter Chelsea and forever more whenever she can - love this. Children remind us to take time for magical things (in our yard now we end up watching a lot of airplanes along with the stars).

Watching the lamp post turn on (Christmas lights too)
Karis hilarious loves to watch the lamp post in our cul de sac turn on. I love watching what she loves.

Mustache man 
Trev had a good run with his fall mustache this year. After a Sunday morning of stares at church and the anticipation of meeting a new boss-man, well, he decided to let it go. Well done, Trev.

Thanksgiving
We're always glad to go to Bis - I mean really, we take over the grandparents' houses, makes tons of memories, eat lots of good food, run zero errands, connect with lots of family and enjoy our home land. Fulfilling and filling gatherings, a date night, finding out J & C are having a little girl, meeting a dear friend's baby girl. Thankful. And writing this the day after returning:  holiday hangover - like, crabby and tired and back to full responsibility. I think it's a real thing - SO wonderful in the moment with zero regrets . . . and then, the next day . . .

And now, Advent
Simple. Trying to be simple and quiet and anticipating. Searching inward and reaching out. Memories, meaning, waiting, hoping. Started it off today with snowman making (named Crystal), nativity setting, hot chocolate consuming, candle lighting. Ahhhhhh.

Recent reading quotables . . . 

From In This House of Brede (quote reminds me of motherhood as a calling):
"The silence Dame Catherine had found so fruitful must be continually broken in upon; worst of all, she, to whom it was still an ordeal to take a solo part in choir, or to act as the reader in the refectory, meet strangers in the parlor - though she had successfully hidden all this, too successfully she could have said - must now always be solo, leader in everything, unmercifully prominent. An abbess cannot lift a little finger but it is seen and marked by her nuns, she must lead, inspire, and every hour of the twenty four hours of each day until she died, bear that awesome responsibility of souls and, in her own monastery, be the representative of Christ"

From The Long Winter (Little House)
"'We eat when we get hungry', said Royal. 'That's the advantage of baching it. Where there's no women-folks, there's no regular mealtimes'". (as Pa ate their bacon and pancakes with glee)

From The Count of Monte Cristo (the last page of the book, which became like a dear friend to me after at least 5 months of reading it!)
"There is neither happiness nor wisdom in the world, there is only the comparison of one state with another - nothing more. He who has felt the deepest grief is best able to experience supreme happiness."

"Live, then, and be happy, beloved children of my heart, and never forget htat until the day when God shall deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom is summed up in these to words: 'Wait and hope.'"

From The Happiness Project
"'I am happy, but I'm not as happy as I should be. I have such a good life, I want to appreciate it more - and live up to it better . . . I complain too much, get annoyed more than I should. I think if I felt happier, I'd behave better'" . . . "I wanted to prepare. I was a very fortunate person, but the wheel would turn. One dark night, my phone was going to ring . . .one of my goals was to prepare for adversity - to develop the self discipline and the mental habits to deal with a bad thing when it happened . . . I didn't want to wait for a crisis to remake my life."

From The Exact Place
". . . it was here, in the midst of glory and brokenness, where I found a miracle - or at least, pretty near to one: it was the thread of redemption even through the dark hours after midnight. If I had been fat with well being and contentment I believe I would have missed the love of God that still tracks through the wilderness heading me toward Home. I am, I was, in the exact place I needed to be."

Also recently loved reading Longing for Paris, Heidi and For the Love. Adored all.

Karis-isms:
- "This chicken noodle soup doesn't really have any chicken?" (hello, Campbell's)
- "How much did the dishwasher cost? Do you have enough money?"
- "I have a fever - like Frozen Fever!"
- "Think we should get right to the good stuff?" (said when wanting to skip previews before a movie)
- "Momma, how do you spell 'twins'?"
- "Mom, do flowers have funerals?"
- "You're the best best best best _________"
- "Did the time change yet?"
- "Momma, it doesn't LOOK like the time changed?!"
- "Can you believe there are GAMES with the catalog?!" (Toys R Us trip where an employee was instructing my kids on i phone apps for their catalog. What?!)
- "Here dad, you can look at this and find things that YOU want to buy!"
- "Oh mom, sorry our plan didn't work out, but can we go to Target and eat popcorn soon?" (said while whizzing to French Park with daddy)
- "Can I help you?" (after I explained it was going to be one of those days where there's a lot to do)
- "Daddy, we can clear out part of the basement and when you retire from all your jobs you could have a nice little office!"
- "We got to see the lamp post come on!" (she LOVES this)
- "It gets dark so early, I just feel so invisible"
- "Maybe Judah should go to home school?" (when we were talking about him not going to preschool anymore. Oh wise Karis)
- "Yeah I have an elephant memory" (she's heard me say this one a lot, and it's so true)
- "Well, we could just go to Caribou for a bit to chat and connect?" (while driving to airport to pick up the grandmas)
- "Well, we'll have to hang Judah's bike up occasionally" (I adore her vocab)
- "Daddy, can we please talk about stars instead of serious things?"
- "It's like a tv on way more bigger" (said while stargazing)
- "Mom, do crocodiles have meat on them?"
- "This might be the worst croup yet"
- "Do you know what I wish for Judah? I wish he'd grow up and be a farmer"
- "Judah! Grandpa Kirk shot an elk with a gun and now we get to eat meat!"
- "Mommy, do you have a star? Do you know where it is?" (found out later that the John Henry fairy tale at school talks about this)
- She constructed her first words (alone) this week: "We wint to dsny wrld" (needs some vowels but I was super shocked). And in writing a thank you note, "Fank yu". Love it!
- "I need to go check on Crystal!"
- "I'm going to the parlor"

Judah Jibes:
- "Man in car eating sucker!" (said when he can see people smoking in their cars)
- "I'm funny!"
- "Go to school! Play play-dough"
- "That go in the garbage"
- "I watch James Bond movie!"
- "Timmy go to bed. Read God Book!" (recently loving the Eloise Wilkin stories I got for Karis when he was born)
- "I'm farmer boy!" (he IS. Farming is in this little boy's blood . . . planting, plants, flowers, tractors)
- "I'm awake!"
- "I wanna take a break!"
- "Little man fix dishwasher! TWO little men fix dishwasher!"
- "Mommy gave me pinecones!" (translate: waffle cones)
- "Look at that!"
- "Look, it's a house! Ahhhhh, no, actually it's a library!" (on the way to preschool, seeing a huge Honeywell building)
- "I went to zoo! I saw bear dig sand!"
- "Grandma Carole tongue fell out!"
- "Congratulations!"
- "Drangonfly in here! Get out!" (there was a stick in the bath he thought was a drangonfly - and he was scared. That dang bee sting continues to play out in a fear of bugs here)
- "I go houses! I get bag. I get candy!"
- "Mmmmmm, coconut"
- "Ahhhh, I think read rhymes!"
- "Go uppa mommy"
- "I'm gonna do forks" (helping Karis unload dishwasher)
- "I can have it . . . " (while taking something of Karis's while she's not looking)
- "I love your outfit!" (repeating me, but still adorable)
- "I go get new dress" (after taking off his pants, came down in star wars jammie pants and vikings jersey)
- "Ahhhh, I think read Yak and Gnu!"
- "Look, it's a triangle!" (said in a store, and correctly - I credit the book Mouse Shapes)
- "I'm not screaming mommy!" (when he's screaming I tell him he's screaming. He notes when he stops)
- "Read Hickory Dickory Dock!"
- "Ohh la la!" (a little saying he and Nancy have with each other)
- "Mommy go in car too!" (when we're driving separately and I'm not with him)
- "I go on pootsie hunt" (when we're looking for his beloved lovey)
- "Noooo, I no poopie, I'm dry"
- "Grandpa in Colorado! Grandpa go elk hunting!"
- "I have to eat my green beans!"
- "Uppa Karis!" (loves being held by Karis, ADORABLE)
- "Where are you mommy?" (love this)
- "No mommy glasses!" (can't stand the sight of me wearing glasses)
- "Hop to mommy!" (he does this all the time)
- "Engine turtle jammies!" (ninja translated)
- "How about RACE!" (he and Karis go back and forth with ideas of what to play)
- "I want tomato apple sauce!" (the costco squeeze applesauce - he thinks the apple on the front is a tomato)