So, read on if you want - this one is a journal, it's all about me this time, memories I want to record to remember a sweet season of little gifts. Maybe it will be encouragement down the road, who knows . . .
I fell asleep last night thinking about my birthday and how I could possibly sum it up. I woke up thinking, "I think I like getting older". I think I used to put some pressure on the day to be what it HAD to be (i.e. the perfect day). Something about having unpredictable children in my care has taught me to set my expectations a little lower than perfect (last year was the prime example: we ended up at the doc for both the kids, Karis struck napping, Judah screamed through Potbelly's dinner). However, one thing remains the same about that special day: it's special and I look for God's hand in making it blessed. Last year I realized that my favorite thing is taking care of my family, and I got to do that on my birthday (now that attitude HAS to be God). I expect Him to shape my attitude, I trust Him with my life and with the day. I've often wondered what life would be like if I lived with this mind set every day?
(Quick disclaimer for the rose-colored post here: I'm purposely excluding the "not perfect", there were plenty moments this week, but this is a time for celebration. Just saying, not all birthday bliss, but still so, so blessed)
This year was truly beautiful (not perfect), and I do feel so loved and cared for. There was the early surprise celebration with a delicious lakeside dinner and gifts on Friday night from B & L last weekend in Alexandria (thank you!) . . . and the surprise Saturday afternoon alone in the condo reading the book Bob brought and sipping decaf . . . and the Sunday water-sliding and remembering that I do indeed like a thrill.
There was the Tuesday meet-up with some besties at Costco for a "we're all sick and miserable so let's be sick and miserable together and get an errand done". There was the Tuesday dinner at Noodles with Lee and Caroline, preceded by a random visit to a "new" library, where we met new friends with kids the same ages who want to have a play date.
There was the Monday morning with my mom and gma, and a quick visit to the Target clinic with my gma ("You have a cold, go home and rest"). That evening, Trev brought home special tea and coffee and chocolate from a place in Linden Hills - his time and thought meant so much, and the early gifts turned out so perfect - Karis and I enjoyed the treats for Tea Tuesday, and I've had a wonderful time sharing the treats with friends who've been here this week. Thanks, Trev (sipping the coffee now).
There was the weekend visit from my parents that came at the most providential time - Trev ended up in bed sick all weekend (which gets lonely for this momma), their company and help and attention was such a gift. Karis got pink eye and an ear infection, their extra love for her was so amazing. The Friday highlight was doing something that I really wanted to do for my birthday: have a Frozen pizza party. My mom, dad, grandma, Karis and me hunkered down and watched the movie in the afternoon . . . then went to Costco and to Nadia's cakes to get cupcakes . . . then finished the movie with Jets on the floor of the TV room. Delightful, delicious, memorable. The icing on the cupcake was putting the kids to bed early and enjoying decaf and cupcakes with "the adults". Saturday we celebrated at our fave neighborhood spot, Milton's. Judah was squirmy, Karis wasn't feeling good and wanted to go home, and I couldn't have been happier (again, that attitude has to be from the Blesser). I'll never forget all these things. Oh, and I got some gals-only outings (kid-less) on Saturday and Sunday, precious times of connection (and treats).
And then, the actual day. I left it pretty open, wondering what might happen . . . very unlike me, I love to plan plan plan. I made sure to have all the housework done the day before, my gift to myself was no laundry/dishes/cooking/cleaning. Karis was up early, so I brought her in bed with me to read the "Birthday Psalm" (139), and started the day soaking in the miracle of being Created with Love and intricacy and delight. We tried to think of all sorts of "B" things, starting with bacon (Karis thought we should have sprinkles on our slices, why not?).
The first surprise was when we went to Trader Joe's before preschool. Karis picked out my flowers ("Mommy, it's your birthday. Someone ELSE has to pick out your flowers!"). At the checkout, she told the cashier what the pink tulips were for, and the gracious grandmotherly figure said "the flowers are on us". And for some reason we got to talking about being a parents, the higher highs and lower lows (it has been a bit of a wild ride with Karis and me lately, so I was maybe a little sensitive). She said something that made me tear up: "You know, moms really have to learn to forgive themselves". She also ended up saying, "God only knows . . . God only knows." Goodness, yes. Thank you for the flowers and the apt words, Trader Joe's lady.
We had enough time then for my free coffee from Caribou, and the kids climbed around and I just loved that moment. Karis had pajama day at preschool, which really made her day, and it was fun to drop her off and see her head into her own little party. I got to rest during preschool while Judah napped. Before picking K up, I ended meeting my bro for coffee, which is always special (thanks for the donut muffins, DP!). Papa Murphy's was right next door, so I picked up my birthday dinner before heading to pick up K. Who proceeded to scream almost the whole way home, but that's another story (we also had some super sweet interactions throughout the day).
The afternoon flew with minor and major meltdowns (not-feeling-well Karis), but we weathered it all well, had some good cuddles. The other great surprise was having some dear friends swing by for afternoon tea, the kids played, we all feasted on berries and shortbread and yummy vanilla and chamomile tea (that is actually the flowers, so fun to show the kids) and their presence filled my cup.
There were the texts and facebook messages and cards that make the day a beautiful reminder of all the amazing people that grace my life.
Trev got home early, whisked the kids away to get cards at the dollar store (blissful quiet), we had a quick Frozen pizza party, opened the gifts my parents left (thank you!), early bed for all . . .
The gifts continued on Thursday with a spontaneous morning visit from dear friends - of which the mom was due with her 3rd child on my birthday and is now trying to fill the time in the "past-due" stage. And next in the form of picking up new eyeglasses - the bonus gift being the optician who listened to me talk about the ride there (not perfect, to say the least) and ended with hugs and treats for Karis that completely turned the day around for both of us.
Yes, I like getting older (for this season anyway). To be honest, some people I care about have been faced with grief and loss lately . . . life is not always so rose colored and I can only hope I can be responsible with these seasons of "overflow" to somehow give. I hope.
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