Home birth, diaper pails, dads, pictures, air conditioning, hospital visits, James Bond . . .

The title contains some random things on my mind, not necessarily in that order.  I am thinking, "Thank God for air conditioning and cold basements." I've been inside almost all day, which I might feel guilty for except that I got a wonderful amount of things done (whether any of them really needed to be done is a point to question, but I'm enjoying my sparkling clean teapot and dusted door frames. I feel a little crazy admitting that). But then with everything I get done, I think of something else to do/research/find: Diaper pails. Nursing bras. Cloth diapers. Print pictures from the last year to try to keep up photo albums. 

And then I read that paragraph, and I think the reason for some of the manic thoughts are just wanting some kind of control. I feel a little out of control lately - not as in wild, but more like "I have no control. And I want some. How can I get it? By making lists. And then crossing things off the list." It has to stop, and I'm reminded that I am NOT in control, and it's okay to be out of control because don't I truly believe that God is in control? My actions wouldn't always show that belief, so God help me!  

The home birth thoughts - those correlate with the hospital visit. As in, we took a tour of the hospital this week, and I've never so strongly considered giving birth in the comfort of our own home. All the machines and unfamiliar people walking around in blue scrubs left me feeling a little short of breath.  But alas, to the hospital we will go, and after a few days of reassuring myself of the care we're receiving, I feel good about it. And I'm thankful for it. And in the oddest way that makes complete sense, I can't wait to go back there because it will mean meeting our daughter. Who, by the way, is kicking away the past couple days after a week of a lot of quiet movements. I yelp out with surprise often as I feel her lurch from side to side - she truly feels bigger all the time. 

And finally, James Bond. Do I really need to explain? Trevor went to redbox and came home with what he called a surprise - he loaded the DVD, paused it on the first frame. And I guessed what it was right away, which means I've watched Quantum of Solace one too many times but am enjoying it right now again. Thanks, Trev. 

Oh, and here's an almost-32-week picture:

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And speaking of Father's . . . it's now Sunday, Father's Day. HAPPY FATHER'S day . . . to so many!  Of course most especially my father, whose awesomeness you can read about here.  Truly, dad, I love you and thank God that you've set such an amazing example to me of what His love for me is like. I hope you know how wonderful you are!  And I am blessed by my dad-in-law, Bobby - a recent memory that I'm thankful for is when we sat in his living room in Bismarck overlooking the river, each with a laptop on our laps - typing away, probably pretty tired, and not really needing to say anything (as Bobby would say, wirelessly communicating - as in, no words needed).  I'm thankful to be able to have that level of comfort. Love you too, Bobby.  And of course ALL four of Trevor and my grandfathers are a gift to us. 

I church today when mentioning Father's Day, our pastor very aptly talked about God as the ultimate Father - thank you, Lord, for your love and especially for how you've shown your love to us through our fathers.  I know that is not the case for everyone and remembering that makes me feel especially blessed. 

And Trevor - truly, happy Father's Day to you. You are already an astounding dad to our Baby K and it's been a joy to watch you grow in love for this precious life. I love your heart and I can't wait to see you be a father to our daughter.