And the next Pope is HERE! Part Uno

(the following was written over several days . . . time really is different with a baby around!)

Karis (pronounced "care-iss") Carole Pope made her grand appearance to the world on Tuesday, August 4th, 2009 at 2:14 p.m. She weighed a lovely 6lbs 4oz, measured 19 inches long, and came out crying. And now I'm crying as I even write this sentence - it's just too much, God's provision is simply amazing and we feel so humbled that he would entrust us with this gift of life.

As I write, this new family of three is sitting in our living room in a quiet house. Trevor is reading The Hobbit to Karis, and she is loving every minute being wrapped up in her daddy's arms, feeling his heartbeat, hearing his voice, gathering his warmth.

There's so much I want to remember about the past few days, so many intricate details that I'm scared I'll forget. So I'm going to just write and post in increments - more for us than for anyone else, but I hope whoever reads this enjoys the boring details.

There's the technical "stuff" of going into labor of course (and I'm all about being real, so if you can't handle the graphic details, please just skip this paragraph!): my water broke at 11:30 pm and woke me up. However, it was simply a "gush" (you know, not exactly what they show you in the movies!), and I started to get what felt like contractions about every 20 minutes. I kept Trevor posted, but to be honest we were both in complete denial - I mean, we had plans for the next week, you know? I kept saying, "It's probably nothing" and Trevor kept saying "Yeah, it's probably just a leak. It'll repair itself" (I'm sure we read somewhere that can actually happen, I don't know?). Well, by 7am Trevor convinced me to call our midwife. She let me know that I had tested positive for Group B Strep, and said I needed to pack my bag and come in right away to get started on an IV. She said most women will go into full labor on their own, and they would give me a certain amount of time before augmenting my labor with drugs. I wilted. I went to the bedroom in tears and told Trevor what she said as I grabbed my backpack and started stuffing it. Trevor did the same and we just kind of moved around the house in a fog, I sent off emails to cancel all the plans I had with people the next couple days (I finished work last Friday and had packed the next couple weeks with all sorts of "play dates" for myself with friends, hosting people here, bringing meals to friends with babies . . . ). My contractions got a little more regular and I was having to stop in the middle of them and try to relax to get through them. My bro was eating breakfast and we really shocked him with our news! I'll never forget seeing him get choked up when I said, "One way or the other, we're going to have a baby within the next day or two." It was beautiful to see his emotion and helped me get excited for our change in plans. One of the last things I did before leaving the house was to crumple up my current "to do list" and toss it in the garbage - very liberating! I felt like I was saying hello to our new life and letting go of all that I thought "needed" to be done before Karis arrived.

Around 9am we pulled into the parking lot. I'll always remember talking to my mom as we pulled up, hearing the absolute joy and excitement in her voice was such a gift to me and continued to help me get so excited to meet Karis. We proceeded to the hospital triage area where they make sure you're not just faking labor (ha!), and man did they take their time in giving me the ph test to see if my water actually broke. Contractions were getting more regular, praise God, and I was starting to envision a quick labor and started thinking they better get going already. Well, they didn't - we were there for almost 3 hours! Still feeling pretty good, we enjoyed our time snacking on bananas and almonds, texting all sorts of people, just enjoying each other. And of course, getting more regular contractions - the nurse was rather discouraging and kept saying, "Well, hopefully the contractions are doing their job and making your cervix dilate". I was like, "Lady, I get how labor works - don't squash my hopes, okay?" Anyways. They finally hooked me up to my IV for antibiotics because of the Group B Strep risk . . . and then finally the midwife came in and said we'd move to my room soon. By this time, contractions were about 6 minutes apart and it was getting harder to relax through them. No more texting by this time.

Nurse Kelli came and guided us to our room - that walk down the hall must have triggered something, contractions came every four minutes starting then and their peaks were more intense. Trevor was AMAZING and just kept massaging and coaching me to relax. Our midwife, Pat, set up about four stations around the room for different ways I could labor in a rocking chair, birthing ball, window ledge. She was so respectful of our birthplan, and didn't check my cervix yet (I'd been reading how it can be discouraging to be checked often . . . if you're not progressing you can start to regress, etc.). This was maybe around 12:30pm. Pat left, the nurse went through a bunch of papers for us in between contractions, then Pat came in and out and helped Trevor coach me through some contractions ("Deep low noises! Relax after they peak"). Pat came back and maybe around 1:15 checked my dilation for the first time since arriving at the hospital: 6cm. Over half way there, and as I started to get more miserable (now resigned to bed on my side, grabbing the bed bars during contractions) she said, "You'll probably dilate a centimeter and hour from here - I think you'll have your baby by dinnertime!" And I was thinking, "Um, I can't take this until dinner time." It was getting seriously intense. Not long after that, I was shaking and sweating and having contraction one on top of the other and saying, "I can feel her RIGHT THERE!" And then I thought I had to go to the bathroom (which I knew is a classic feeling for being through transition and ready to push, but I was sure I couldn't already be fully dilated). I got to the bathroom, and the nurse said, "Don't push!" and then she left. And pretty soon I was screaming "I can't not push! Help me help me help me!" Trevor ran to the hallway, the midwife came back, she checked me again and said, "You're fully dilated and ready to start pushing!" That was maybe 1:45. In an instant there were several more people in the room prepping who knows what in a frantic way, it was obvious they were all very surprised (nurse Kelli later told me "I'm still getting over how fast that was"). Anyways, so push I did. Trevor tells me I completely calmed down after that and went into a real zone, resting between contractions and pushing with them as they came about every four minutes. With a few pushes Trevor could see Karis's head and I could feel it! I had heard that the sensation would feel like a ring of fire, and I would say that's exactly right. Pat said I wasn't going to be able to stretch enough for her head to get through without major tearing, so she strongly recommended an episiotomy. And I just said "Whatever you have to do" (so I like to think we had as natural a birth as we could have with no augmentation or pain relief . . . just needing some anesthesia at the very end when she was cutting). Within a few more minutes and a final push, Karis entered the world in one long sweep, crying beautifully as she was placed on my chest. As I write this, I would give anything to go back to that precious moment of seeing her face, looking at Trevor, and instantly knowing that she looked just like him (which I had SO been hoping for - truly!). Trevor said he cried as he watched her come out.

As I was being stitched up, Trevor went with Karis to the other side of the room to be weighed and to change her first diaper - it was beautiful to watch them, listening to Trevor talk to Karis, calling her "buddy" (to which the nurse, Paula, said "You can't call her buddy! Call her buddette!" For the record, she's still "buddy" to Trevor). He changed her first diaper, and then Karis came back to nurse, which she did for a full hour, a sweet time with Trevor by my side, holding the phone up for me as I called my mom and just savored those first moments of bonding. Then Trevor took his shirt off and put Karis to his skin. Next I was in the tub, then Trevor packed up our stuff and we followed nurse Laura to the room where we'd be staying the rest of our time. We got a little settled, and then went to the nursery to be with Karis when she got her first bath. I just fell in complete love with her desperate cry, her trembling lips, her fuzzy hair, the smell of her clean, soft skin. Words can't describe the feelings, the exhaustion, the elation, the complete joy of our first hours of being Karis's parents.

Trevor putting on Karis's first diaper. What a guy.

Can I say again how awesome Trevor was (and is, of course)? His support and encouragement and his love for his girls is overwhelming.

And lest this all sound fluffy, I should also mention the pain was horrible, I screamed like crazy, and many times yelled, "I can't do this!" And the miracle of birth is that I would do it all again.

And I will admit that the initial thoughts of "we have PLANS" were very real and that I felt very not ready. But it didn't take long to see that this was and is THE PLAN, and Karis came right on time. I can't imagine having had to wait another minute to meet her.

On the way from labor room to our "stay-over" room

First bath, how traumatic!

Home from the hospital

Trevor here. Andrea is the most "self-less" person I know, so time for a bit of info about her. We had attended the "Bradley" classes, had a great teacher, and prayed for, hoped, wanted a birth without drugs to support Karis in health, so Andrea could fully enjoy the feeling of holding our child right away, and minimize any side-affects that may happen. Andrea was unmedicated except for the antibiotic for infection, and did amazing. The hospital staff asked her if she was a runner, after seeing her heart rate and Karis's heartbeat through the birth. All the vital signs were good throughout. In the completely uncertain event of childbirth we take nothing for granted; length of labor, complications, health of mother and baby; it's a praise for how things went, and I will leave it at that.

So, I'm probably supposed to discuss my "feelings" and "emotions" and other things like that during the whole experience. My expectations were scant - who could know except when it happens? The night before, packing bags, driving to the hospital, walking down the looooonng hallway to the elevator, checking in, and sitting in the triage unit were all pretty chill. My mind was a bit unfocused, overwhelmed, but taking in every bit. Things got serious about noon in the birthing room as Andrea felt stronger contractions. She took it like a champ, through some of the worst pain I've seen someone go through. Glory to God, it was short lived, but the intensity looked pretty bad. All in all, I felt a bit useful throughout, as I spoke through contractions with Ang, constantly gave her water, snuck her bites of granola bar, guided her when she moved, and timed contractions to know when the next one might hit and how frequent they were coming. I cried when Karis came out. Not blubbering, just completely overwhelmed with love and awe. Spiritual is a word you could use to describe it. Other words might be getting hit with a train of love, or dumbstruck. Karis was so alert when she came out, looking around everywhere and not crying except 5 or 10 minutes when she first arrived and got cleaned up. As the nurse and I checked some vital signs she stared, gripped my finger, and looked to be loving life.

And now - we're 6 days into the adventure with some tired eyes and overflowing hearts at this child. She has continued to amaze us with how cute she can be, mustard diapers, and daily changes in appearance. Walks around the block have a new meaning. Eating dinner is secondary to the life laying in the bassinette. Getting out of bed... is still not fun. We're thankful and having so much fun with Karis.

Thank you for sharing the experience with us.

T minus ???? Days

I'm fascinated that we're at the point where everything is "normal" now . . . and then on any given day, all of a sudden, things will change. We'll make our way to the hospital. Things will happen (not sure what it will all look like, but things will happen). We'll come home with a baby! And normal will all of a sudden look much different than it does right now as we sit in front of a Lord of the Rings movie after having a relaxed dinner.

Anyways. On my mind this week in a pronounced way has been the feeling of transition (now that I read that, "transition" could be quite a pun, as it's referred to as a specific and quite intense stage in the labor/birth process!). But no, I mean transition as it relates to stages of life, which this week equates change. My heart is heavy with some and elated with others:

- My bro moved his belongings out of our basement where he's resided for almost a year. He just couldn't stand us anymore! Not true (as far as I know or can tell), but his things are truly gone as he transitions to living in the home he's been renovating for several months. We're thrilled for him to have such a wonderful place to live, but will certainly miss the nightly games of Dutch Blitz, the shared meals, and all the other routine daily-ness that we've settled into. We never knew having him live here could be so wonderful, and we're grateful.

- Our dearest friends here are no longer here, as they packed up to move closer to their families (which happens to be quite far from here). So again, happy/sad. So happy that what they've sought after worked out, but quite devastated that we'll no longer see them on a weekly basis at church, dinners and lunches and parties in each other's homes, youth group planning and activities . . . very heavy sigh.

- I'm transitioning into my new "career" (motherhood) as I finished work on Friday. Again, so very happy/sad (sad to leave work, not sad to enter motherhood of course). I mean, I don' take for granted that I'm able to stay home with our baby for the foreseeable future - what a crazy and amazing gift! But really, I love to work, I enjoyed my work, and I adored the people with whom I was able to spend so much of my weekdays. I'll miss the place and the people tremendously and do hope to keep in touch. And I'll be honest, there's a great part of my identity that I put in my work, so it's a different feeling to lose part of that. The sermon this morning touched on that point - the tendency to attach so much of our perceived worth in what we do. Often unhealthily so. I can't think of anything I'd rather do right now than be a mom, and there is a great peacefulness in that.

And now we're waiting for the biggest transition of all, into parenthood. I'm thankful to say this change is all happy. I sat at our kitchen table yesterday morning and just wept to think of welcoming our daughter into our home, to think of all the support and encouragement and love God has blessed Trevor and me with, equipping us to pass that love along to each other and our now to our child. We had a great 37 week appointment a few days ago, and the midwife seemed thrilled at everything. To boot, I feel the best I have in a long time - walking, eating, & sleeping wonderfully.

Thanks to a dear friend's advice, I've been re-reading birth stories from Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Natural Childbirth. Each account reminds me about the beauty of creation, of birth and of the utter uniqueness yet sameness that bonds humankind from all time and across the world. I'm excited to see what our experience will be as the story is going to be written so soon. A sentence from one of these stories resonated with me deeply: "I knew this was the beginning of our baby's new life and the end of my selfishness and the part of me that was holding on to still being a child myself. My life was no longer my own. This was still the happiest and most spiritual day of my life." I'm already feeling some of that - the knowing of what selflessness will be required of me can be daunting at times. And yet I know it just happens (right?). I continue to delight in watching Trevor's enthusiasm and uninhibited confidence in, well, everything, and I am always thankful to share every step of every way with him.

We were SO blessed this week by a gift from someone we actually hardly even know (good friends of my brothers): a bag neatly packed with everything we need for our hospital stay! Toiletries, food, things for baby, everything! Considering "pack bags" has been on my list for a couple weeks, this gift almost had me in tears. I thought packing for the hospital seemed looming enough for me to dread it and put it off, that is until I read a friend and fellow blogger's post about packing for her entire family of four to go to Africa. Suddenly packing to stay in the hospital for a couple days doesn't seem like such a big deal! Aside: I have to say that said friend and her family are going to Africa on a mission trip with our church . . . she told the tale in this morning's service of how it came that her family is going, and it was simply beautiful and amazing.

The lists are back. Lists are scattered everywhere - in my head, on our counters, in my purse, by my bed. I love lists, but sometimes they can be unrealistic or just plain silly. Here are some of mine now:

On my pretty much crossed off list:

- Wash cloth diapers

- Learn how to use cloth diapers

- Learn how to wash actually dirty cloth diapers (my, they look so clean right now)

- Stroller purchased

- Baby clothes washed

- Car seat installed (thanks, Trev)

On my need to do list:

- CHILL OUT. TRY to sleep in for what could be the last time in a while. Take time for quiet, prayer, reflection.

On my don't need to do but seem to think I need to do list:

- Bake, cook, fill up the freezer with meals for postpartum (probably not going to happen)

- Get in touch with friends and family, visit friends and family, run around like crazy doing anything and everything I can think of

- Read about vaccines. Read about sleep habits/methods/theories. Read about parenting. Read frivolous fiction.

- Clean, clean clean (nest, nest, nest)

- Write letters, write cards, write in journals, write about the story of Baby K's name

- Make an e-mail list for announcing Baby K's arrival

- Catch up on photo albums/ordering pictures

Yeah, I'm trying to move the "chill out" to priority. Why is this hard for me? I annoy myself.

Deep breath. Okay, we had a great week and weekend. Yesterday we did the unthinkable: went to both the Mall of America and IKEA on a Saturday afternoon during peak vacation season. Well worth the trip and the walk and the claustrophobia to get to see a cousin who's in town, and then also to get ice cream from IKEA. We were thrilled to welcome another dear cousin here for the evening and had a blast grilling burgers, playing Halo, Blitz, and ending with a bonfire when my bro, one of Trev's cousins and some friends also joined. There is just something so unifying and mesmerizing about a fire - instant hours of guaranteed conversation. Gorgeous.

I did manage to plan something for every day this coming week, and look forward to seeing how it all unfolds - starting with making homemade ice cream with our youth group gals tomorrow. I'm excited. Life is so very good, and only about to get better. As a song in church this morning lyricized, "My heart is filled with thankfulness."

Final countdown (or at least it feels that way)

It's so cliche, but time really does fly. These past two weeks have gone so quickly, and I can only imagine the next few will be just as fast . . . and then we'll have a little girl in our arms! I find myself extremely tuned into every little movement, contraction, or difference that I feel. Some days I have a ton of "braxton hicks", I feel Baby K get the hiccups on a daily basis, and she just feels different somehow. I'm looking forward to our appt. on Wednesday where we hope to find out some details on how things are progressing. Wow.

I find myself flashing back over the past nine months to an abundance of pronounced memories and events that have marked this pregnancy with such joy. From finding out on a blizzard-y and eventful day, telling our families & friends, celebrating so many annual special events, some road trips, some guests, and a lot of daily things that somehow seem not so daily when you're growing a baby. I've treasured this time completely.

So, I lost my waddle as I somehow gained my ability to walk again (well, maybe I still waddle a little, but I'm not in pain anymore which has become the main thing for me). I lost my ability to sleep any past 7am, and I gained a craving for chocolate cupcakes and cool ranch doritos. I lost my head a couple times and gained the opportunity to show my brother what a crazy hormonal pregnant woman is capable of (i.e. sudden and quite unprovoked outbursts of somewhat negative emotions taken out on said woman's husband. Sorry Trev. And Drew, I like to think this is just continuing your education about enigmatic female tendencies, so instead of "sorry" I will say "you're welcome").

I often lose my fear of the future and depending on the day, I gain it back again. One day I think we're ready. The next I think my recurring nightmares of tornadoes (for real, I've been dreaming about tornadoes on an almost weekly basis) must have some deep psychological meaning. Most days I'm overwhelmed with awe of this miracle of life, and all days I feel blessed that God would entrust us with this beautiful creation.

One of the highlights of this week was discovering that the digital wrist watch Trevor ordered that came in the mail (which I thought he got just because he wanted a new watch) he got for the sole purpose of timing my contractions! How sweet. He really is a treasure.

Events-wise, these past couple weeks have been filled with very special baby showers, including one thrown for me by my co-workers (very special and fun!), one for a friend who's due with her boy ten days before me, and one for my dearest friend here celebrating her little girl due to arrive in October . . . the celebration of each life is beautiful, and to be even a small part of loving on these babies and families is an honor and joy. This weekend I also had the fun of spending a relaxing evening with a few dear college friends who were in town. In short, lots of good girl time has been had.

And in funny pregnancy comments, I forgot to mention a couple new ones (some resulting from the waddle, others from just getting rounder or the fact that apparently people can say anything to a pregnant woman):

- "You kind of look like my grandma!"

- "Oh, you look SO much better than you did yesterday."

- "Can you GET any bigger?!?"

- "You look like you could go into labor any time."

- My latest favorite was just uttered today. A very kind mother of a six week old sweet baby boy asked if I'm getting nervous. I said, "yes". She said, "Labor was the worst experience of my life. It was awful. I'm still getting over it". Ummmm, I'm sorry? Thanks for the warning?

HA. I love it. The redeeming comments have been, "You could be a pregnant model" (THIS from the same one who told me I look like her grandma), and "When you pull up behind a table you don't look pregnant" (then again, don't most pregnant women look not pregnant when you can't see their tummies?). Or, "Wow, you're butt is still small - when I got pregnant . . . ". They all make me laugh, and I'm continually amazed at what public property pregnant women can be to others (like, when hands fly to my belly with little or no notice). I don't mind.

Random picture time:

Here's the "almost 37 week picture". We still love watching her move around in her little womb home.

A fun summer afternoon in June with our youth group at Como Park, ending at "Connie's Cones" (amazing place, thanks Reeds for the introduction).

My dear friend N and I at the baby shower she threw for me . . . a picture of all hostesses to come once I get one - thanks to all the hands and hearts that made it such a special day!

Mothers, aunt, grandma, cousins, niece . . . several traveled a great distance to be there, I'm so thankful.

Wonderful friends from Trev's days at NDSU, on the 4th of July. Their little boy is such a doll!

My fab coworkers at the shower they threw for Baby K - amazing!

A brother dinner, some time ago . . . it's rare to get a picture of them all!

I've Got a New Way to Walk

Oh yes, the waddles are back. To be honest, this little girl is quite literally "getting on my nerves". You know, the sciatic one. The shooting pain down the leg with every step, which leads me to walk akimbo. But really, I might as well make the most of them, right? Does anyone remember that song from Sesame Street "I got a new way to walk -walk walk." The tune goes through my head often these days. You can watch and listen to it for yourself! This new way to walk has prompted many a thought, and a couple of stories. The thoughts first:

- I am so very thankful that I can sit comfortably and sleep quite well still

- I would rather have this than heartburn or sickness

- I am thankful to not be on bed rest

- I cannot imagine what people who live with chronic pain go through - at least I know mine will (hopefully) go away when we meet Baby K. My gosh, I have it easy. As Darius Rucker says, "It Won't Be Like This for Long" (that song makes me cry)

- This is a forced season of rest for me. I need to sit. I need to ask for help (laundry, groceries, garbage, watering flowers, everything. And thank God for an amazing husband who is so helpful!). If I were feeling great, I might not pace myself well, so this time to back off the to-dos is okay.

The stories:

- A truly dear coworker last week: "Andrea, are you feeling okay? You don't look so good. (in an apologetic voice) You kind of walk like my grandma." Oh my gosh, what was I supposed to say to that? I think I laughed. A couple other coworkers pointed out to me, "Oh, you look like you're moving a little slow today!" Um yeah, every step hurts. You would be walking like a slow grandma too. I'm laughing as I write this even though I hope it sounds sarcastic.

- Today we went to see the movie Earth. I was inspired by the monkeys and on the way out decided that's kind of what my walk looks like - so I walked out of the movie theater making "eeee eeee eeee" sounds and putting my hands near my armpits.

- Trevor told me my waddle is actually endearing. Isn't that sweet? Quite unfortunately, he thinks he has sympathy pain - his hip really hurts when he walks up stairs. Sad!

Speaking of Trevor, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HIM! He's 28 today, and I'm obviously so glad he was born. God bless you Trevor with the best year yet - it's sure to be an adventure! We've figured out that most years for his birthday my gift to him is usually a party of some kind. I remember our first year married I made a feast in VA complete with orange sorbet in cups made of real oranges, steak, and cheesecake (I've since WAY simplified my cooking!). Last year it was about 25 people for a bbq in our backyard (that was a messy pile of dirt at the time since our patio was in progress).

Here's a pic of the 2008 party

This year it was a grill out party on Friday, a pasta party on Saturday, we'll have a walleye party tomorrow night with family. Good memories! For his actual b-day, we went to see Earth, had take-out meat madness from Famous Dave's, and are going to finish with some Dutch Blitz and Gears of War (I'll let Trevor win this once. Just kidding - I don't even know what Gears of War is, but I know it brings Trevor great joy). Happy Birthday, Trevor!

Speaking of the movie Earth, it was very special to watch it yesterday as so much of the footage and followings were of mothers and their babies! Besides being so darn cute, I was struck by all the natural instincts of animals - everything is just so, well, natural. They're born, they feed, they leave. So yeah, I was kind of comforted thinking WE are so part of God's intricate and natural creation too, so the feeding issue (which I often worry about now) will of course somehow work out. Everything will. It was good to sit in the theater and just think on that.

And speaking of Trevor. Sometimes I get this panic of "I'll never have him all to myself again!" I know it's selfish, but it's true. I find myself just wanting more and more time with him, wondering just how things are going to change - how we're going to change. I know it's a waste to worry in this way, but I wanted to write it down to 1. Get it out of my head, and 2. Look back on and remember how silly I was to even THINK that! We are immeasurably excited to meet Baby K of course, but you know these thoughts are still just sometimes there.

Another thing I'd like to remember - yesterday I received (via Facebook) some sweet postpartum advice from an old friend who's now a mother of two gorgeous girls: "Don't worry about the dishes/laundry/other chores; they won't go anywhere." I like that.

Anyways . . . Pics from the quiet patio party

These boys like their meat

And here's me at 34 1/2 weeks yesterday. Baby K probably weighs about 5 pounds right now! My brother was funny - when Trev was taking the pic Drew said, "Are you sucking in? Let it out!" Yes, I walk around the house with my belly hanging out out my too-short shirts. I refuse to go buy new ones at this point!

Oh what a weekend

I'm sitting here at my kitchen table (maybe I should be outside? It's gorgeous out there - and by gorgeous, I mean NOT SMOLTERING) and I'm trying to soak in the wonderful weekend that just went by way too fast. I took Friday off to spend with family in town, and I thought so many times at my desk today, "I wish it were Friday again . . . " The weekend started at Don Pablos with my parents and two dear cousins - Sarah & Hillary are more like sisters than they are cousins, gorgeous girls with such character and personality and a history between us all that spans since they were born. After the yummy mexican fare, we settled in at home for some "Splitz & Blitz", i.e. banana splits and some raucous rounds of Dutch Blitz. So fun.

Friday was a delightful and relaxed day of girly-ness: we hit IKEA (did you know they have free coffee before 10am?), hit the Midtown Global Market, lunch at Noodles & Co, and some meandering around uptown. What sticks out in my mind from uptown (besides the wild stores, the stop at Penzey's, and a delightful coffee and sea-salt caramel break at Lucia's) was a lovely conversation with a cashier/make-up artist in a make-up store. I perched myself on one of the comfy chairs, and she came up to talk and went on and on about being pregnant and having children - she was so interested, and so encouraging and engaging. Again, people are so nice to pregnant women, it continues to amaze me. Her name is Collette and she said to bring baby in sometime. I just might!

The girls at IKEA - Hillary got a pineapple plant - how fun is that?!? 

Friday evening we had a pizza party at a table set for 10, where Trevor's parents and our niece Courtney joined us and my parents and cousins for a nice dinner and time of reconnecting - it was wonderful to have all our families here at the same time, the first since we moved here. We cherish them all so dearly and those times together are special to us.

Saturday was the event that prompted all the togetherness . . . a beautiful baby shower, where we were again humbled by a shower of love, creativity, memories, and gifts. My dear friends Nikki, Alyssa, & Beth hosted the morning and it was beyond what I could have expected! (I must interject - to a certain "YG" mom who reads this blog, you were spared being invited because there's a plan for a double YG shower!) The theme was "Sugar, Spice and Everything Nice (because that's what little girls are made of)", there were splashes of lavendar in all the decor & flowers, there were spices and sugars, an array of splendid sugar-y and spicy foods, spicy tea, & cinnamon sticks as favors. I was blessed (on behalf of Trevor and Baby K) to have so many dear family members and friends join the celebration and again it's hard to even begin to express our gratitude. I can't wait to show Baby K pictures someday and tell her how loved and prayed for she was before people had even met her! She is already one blessed little girl.

Some Shower Memories . . . (more pictures to follow in a separate post)

I will always remember the start of the morning when Trevor and I sat in the nursery together in the peacefulness of a sleeping home to fill out the "baby traits game" - we had a list of traits, ranging from personality to eye color, and we had to say which of us we hope our daughter to take after for each trait. They were surprisingly easy - Trevor's eyes and confidence and sense of humor and height and lips, my nose and hands and interpersonal skills and creativity. What I loved about after we played the game at the shower (and everyone had to guess what we had put down for answers) is that Nikki pointed out how amazing it is that God already knows all those things - what she looks like, what she'll be like . . . and then she read part of Psalm 139 (which is a psalm I read every birthday, and one we hope to read at Baby K's baptism. Nikki is a true kindred spirit!):

¹³ For you created my inmost being; 
       you knit me together in my mother's womb.

 ¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; 
       your works are wonderful, 
       I know that full well.

 ¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you 
       when I was made in the secret place. 
       When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

 ¹⁶ your eyes saw my unformed body. 
       All the days ordained for me 
       were written in your book 
       before one of them came to be.

Another meaningful moment was time spent in prayer for Baby K, as well as prayer cards that people wrote out and then gave to us . . . all are beautiful, and a theme from a couple of them very much stood out and touched my heart - perfectionism. A couple prayers written:

 - Neither of you will be "perfect" parents but may God grow you up to be more and more like Himself

 - Remember, nobody parents "perfectly"

I cherish those affirmations especially, because it's so easy to think (even now with Baby K in my belly) that I somehow have control (or could somehow mess up) the pregnancy, the birth, the parenting. Perfection is unattainable - and as Trevor would call it, boring. So, here's to being NOT perfect, to learning from mistakes, for being honest on the journey. 

There were other fun games as well - everyone guessed how much I measure around (Aunt Debbie was right on!), there was baby-food flavor guessing, and of course the dirty diaper game (thanks, Beth!).

The shower was also a tangible reminder of the abundant family and community God has blessed us with - we are so thankful. And thankful also in a way that our worlds could "collide", that our families would come all this way to celebrate and that our friends here could meet them all (and vice versa!).

Festivities continued on Saturday evening with a big bbq at the Pope household, filled with Popes and Pandolfo's (14 combined, to be exact). The evening was gorgeous so we all ate outside, celebrated Father's Day and recent birthdays, pondered some questions from a game that we have, and soaked in the summer night in good company. We took out our "question game", a contraption filled with all sorts of conversation starters. The first was "how old is 'old' and what is the secret to staying young?"  Courtney (our 9 year old niece) answered, "Well, 65 is old, and the secret to staying young is wrinkle cream!"  She is an amazing young lady, and our Baby K's first cousin - it'll be fun to see them together, and Courtney will be a wonderful role model to her. 

This week Trevor and I spent some more good time in the nursery unpacking generous gifts and organizing. It's hard to believe that a BABY will be in there with us so soon. We're terribly excited.

Trevor unwrapping a "diaper cake". Mmmmm, tasty.  It was an adorable cake, and its contents are going to come in very handy when I'm sure we'll be adjusting to cloth diapers and loving the convenience of these beauties. 

And tonight . . . we welcomed home "Brother Tay", Trev's youngest brother who was just in China on a 6 week mission trip. It's been a joy to see him take that opportunity and we loved hearing about his travels and experiences building relationships with the Chinese people he met and spent time among.

The brothers (well, most of them) - or should I say the dad and uncles? 

Please notice Taylor's amazing mustache and comb-over. 

And now, we're ready for a long weekend - happy 4th of July everyone! 

Home birth, diaper pails, dads, pictures, air conditioning, hospital visits, James Bond . . .

The title contains some random things on my mind, not necessarily in that order.  I am thinking, "Thank God for air conditioning and cold basements." I've been inside almost all day, which I might feel guilty for except that I got a wonderful amount of things done (whether any of them really needed to be done is a point to question, but I'm enjoying my sparkling clean teapot and dusted door frames. I feel a little crazy admitting that). But then with everything I get done, I think of something else to do/research/find: Diaper pails. Nursing bras. Cloth diapers. Print pictures from the last year to try to keep up photo albums. 

And then I read that paragraph, and I think the reason for some of the manic thoughts are just wanting some kind of control. I feel a little out of control lately - not as in wild, but more like "I have no control. And I want some. How can I get it? By making lists. And then crossing things off the list." It has to stop, and I'm reminded that I am NOT in control, and it's okay to be out of control because don't I truly believe that God is in control? My actions wouldn't always show that belief, so God help me!  

The home birth thoughts - those correlate with the hospital visit. As in, we took a tour of the hospital this week, and I've never so strongly considered giving birth in the comfort of our own home. All the machines and unfamiliar people walking around in blue scrubs left me feeling a little short of breath.  But alas, to the hospital we will go, and after a few days of reassuring myself of the care we're receiving, I feel good about it. And I'm thankful for it. And in the oddest way that makes complete sense, I can't wait to go back there because it will mean meeting our daughter. Who, by the way, is kicking away the past couple days after a week of a lot of quiet movements. I yelp out with surprise often as I feel her lurch from side to side - she truly feels bigger all the time. 

And finally, James Bond. Do I really need to explain? Trevor went to redbox and came home with what he called a surprise - he loaded the DVD, paused it on the first frame. And I guessed what it was right away, which means I've watched Quantum of Solace one too many times but am enjoying it right now again. Thanks, Trev. 

Oh, and here's an almost-32-week picture:

______________________________________

And speaking of Father's . . . it's now Sunday, Father's Day. HAPPY FATHER'S day . . . to so many!  Of course most especially my father, whose awesomeness you can read about here.  Truly, dad, I love you and thank God that you've set such an amazing example to me of what His love for me is like. I hope you know how wonderful you are!  And I am blessed by my dad-in-law, Bobby - a recent memory that I'm thankful for is when we sat in his living room in Bismarck overlooking the river, each with a laptop on our laps - typing away, probably pretty tired, and not really needing to say anything (as Bobby would say, wirelessly communicating - as in, no words needed).  I'm thankful to be able to have that level of comfort. Love you too, Bobby.  And of course ALL four of Trevor and my grandfathers are a gift to us. 

I church today when mentioning Father's Day, our pastor very aptly talked about God as the ultimate Father - thank you, Lord, for your love and especially for how you've shown your love to us through our fathers.  I know that is not the case for everyone and remembering that makes me feel especially blessed. 

And Trevor - truly, happy Father's Day to you. You are already an astounding dad to our Baby K and it's been a joy to watch you grow in love for this precious life. I love your heart and I can't wait to see you be a father to our daughter. 

On becoming a Pope

One year ago today, Trevor and I were welcoming two of our brothers back to the U.S. after their month-long gallivanting adventures in Peru. Once we saw them off on the final leg of their journey back to Bismarck, we enjoyed a dinner at Sunsets in Wayzata and a viewing of the movie Once.

My bro and me with his Peruvian-inspired beard . . . didn't get any pictures with Trev for this anniversary.

Two years ago today we were spending time at a fully modernized (and air-conditioned!) log cabin in Brainerd, eating Zorba’s pizza, going to Ocean’s 13, and re-visiting many of the paths we trod in that lake country on our honeymoon.

The head-dress came with the cabin

Around three years ago today, we were starting to think about moving back to the Midwest. On our anniversary day I was in Minneapolis, on my way back from a friend's wedding . . . Trevor picked me up from the airport that night and I distinctly remember being very difficult and crabby. And going to Subway for dinner. And I think Trevor had some nice things in the car when I landed, I recall watermelon was included. Very sweet (Trevor and the watermelon).

Just a while after our anniversary celebrating Trevor's landing his current job here in Mpls. There was grand marnier involved (just a little, of course).

Four years ago today Trevor was giving me a jewelry box engraved with my initials, and we were taking an overnight trip to Fredericksburg, VA. I remember just meandering the streets, checking out the shops, drinking some coffee. We’re big fans of overnight trips.

Coffee shop in Fredericksburg

FIVE years ago today, a Pandolfo became a Pope by way of a ceremony. A marriage ceremony. Which is obviously why I can mostly remember what we were doing on this day for the past five years. As cliché as it sounds, the time has flown, and these have been the most amazing and best five years, each one filled with its own character, lessons, and adventurous journeys. I have to say that being married even better than I ever expected it could be, although I think that has something to do with my husband. I thank God for him every day, and often still can’t believe this is my life – getting to spend every day with a man I love and who loves me back even more, who makes me laugh, who encourages me and supports me. A man who is confident in who God has made him, who loves people and gives his heart generously. Who now sits beside me with his hand on my belly, talking to his daughter and feeling her kick and do somersaults in a way that always fascinates and enthralls us.

And today as I write this, we’re on our “Babymoon/5 year anniversary trip” in Stillwater, MN. It’s very early, and I’m sitting on an antique couch in our room at the Aurora Staples Inn Bed and Breakfast. This is our room. I’m surrounded by lace curtains in the living area filled with intricate Victorian décor and furniture. This short trip has been filled with fun interactions, which is what we love. We arrived here late afternoon yesterday to a warm welcome from the owners Kathy & Jerry. Kathy gave us a tour of this 117 year old house, and then she delivered delicious hors doeuvres to our door. It was a gorgeous day, so we left for main street, which is filled with shops and located near the St. Croix River. After a little walk, we went to Brine’s Bar & Restaurant – which to be honest, was a little dive-ish (think, sticky tables), but, truth be told,  I increasingly love those kinds of places. The kind where the people are real, the food is cheap, and the atmosphere has unique character. And where they have a salad bar, ha! Brine’s was all of those things and so much more. Our waitress seemed guarded at first, and then when I asked if there was meat on the salad bar, she said no but quickly offered to just throw in some freshly grilled chicken for me (at no charge), adding that she gave birth to twin girls seven months ago and knows how it is to need meat (I’m telling you, this baby is so good to me, people are so nice to her and I get to reap the benefits. Wow). Well, there of course started a delightful conversation that continued each time she brought us food or water. She showed us a picture of her girls and gave us some parenting advice from the trenches. She was wonderful, and I’ll always remember that meal (it was delicious, by the way – I think Trevor loved his Brine burger too).

Settling in with delish hors deurves

Then we stopped in at an outdoor-gear shop, and had a little chat with the guy working there who informed us of the hot spots in Stillwater. He was quick to point us to this map showing the 3 HUGE sets of stairs located around this small town, and encouraged us to go climb them. In my head I was like, “Um, do you KNOW how hard stairs are with this large stomach and an extra 17 pounds of weight?!? No thank you.” But I just smiled and said we might check them out . We didn’t. Even though if we DID climb them all, we could go back to that store and get a badge that says we did. Maybe next time.

Back at the B&B, we took our books to the front porch and read them in rockers, smelling the fresh flowers that were everywhere. Gorgeous and restful. Later we watched Once again. And now after a great night’s rest, I’m anticipating the coffee that will be at our door in ½ hour, and the breakfast to follow an hour later – I’m sure Trevor’s looking forward to it, even though he’s still sawing logs (another thing I can’t believe but love about my husband: he sleeps through all my clanking around).

Anniversary Part Duo

It’s Saturday afternoon now, and I am coming down off a small caffeine high (doesn’t take much caff to get to me, and wow was it a productive morning due to that kick). Yesterday continued to be restful, if not a little lazy and lethargic . . . and we enjoyed every minute knowing that any lazy and lethargic days will soon be over (or at least, that’s what we’re anticipating). Breakfast was delightful, we dined at a long and elaborately decorated table with 3 other couples – 2 of whom were also celebrating anniversaries (in the 30 odd years, compared to our 5). The meal was beautiful, the conversation lively, and the owner of the B&B was gracious to us all.

Typical for us, we headed back to town a bit before noon and came home – a nap for Trevor, a walk for me, and then my bro took us to Maggiano’s where we had a lovely meal, which included a picture and a story:

We had a wonderful waiter, who happened to notice us praying before our meal . . . and then happened to say “I noticed you praying, where do you go to church?” (to which Trevor replied an emphatic “No”, thinking he had asked if we were going to church that evening. Anyways). So we talked about our church, and it turns out he went to our church’s “mother” church in Chicago (where the pastor is our pastor’s brother, and where we went exactly a year ago with our youth group . . . ). And he’s been to our church a few times, and he knows some of our friends there. This might not be so random except that our church is really pretty small and is the only one of its denomination in MN. So yeah, it was just neat to connect with him and learn more about his story too. Not to mention, he brought us dessert on the house. Yummmmm.

It was not a bad day, as our brothers would say. Today is also not a bad day, after some deep cleaning and baby-room arranging (yay!), we took a picnic to Excelsior and strolled around an art fair by Lake Minnetonka.

And now, I might start reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Baby. Or, I might just indulge in some more A Thousand Splendid Suns. I can’t seem to get enough fiction lately.