Oh holiday season, to where have you gone? I just told Trevor that I'm feeling some post-holiday doldrums - probably exacerbated by going through pictures from Christmas, wishing we were still with all our families: being lazy, getting fed, enjoying watching them with Karis. 

That said, what a wonderful time we had and I'm now so excited for the new year. I've been processing 2010 in terms of "best of/most" (best book, best movie, best meal out, best date with Trevor, most memorable moment, most awkward moment, most emotional moment). There's a lot to think about, it was a truly grand year. 

I'm also processing the year ahead in terms of "hopes". While I think goals are great, I'm having an easier time thinking about hopes for the year ahead - it just seems more attainable and more fun to think of hopes fulfilled than aggressively seeking goals (at least for this time of our lives). Some hopes: 

- I hope I take more pictures this year

- I hope I can write more and be more creative this year

- I hope Trevor and I can take a short vacation together

- I hope to paint our bathroom

- I hope . . . to prioritize and take time for important things 

- I hope that our family of three can establish some unique traditions

- I hope to be open to anything and everything that God would lead me to and through these next months of 2011.

Karis hilarious is quickly on her way to becoming a 1 and a half year old. Some 17 month memories and milestones: 

• Running around with her hands in the air and dancing on her tiptoes. So feminine and joyful! 
• Saying "uh-oh" over and over and especially at appropriate times, e.g. tripping, dropping something . . .
• Saying "baby" when she sees her baby doll or baby Jesus from her little nativity set
• Trying to drop her morning nap (still needing it, not wanting it)
• Dropping daytime feedings, just nursing morning and night (wanting it, not getting it)
• Getting a molar
• Sleeping wonderfully well through the night, about 7:30 - 7:30
• Cuddling more and more. She loves to back up into my lap, which of course melts my heart
• Scoot down the stairs on her belly
• Loves to play with other children, but also loves her alone time. When we're with friends, I sometimes catch her off by herself in a different room having some time to herself
• Is very attached to her grandparents
• Says' "up" all day long, wanting to be picked up and put down. At this point, "up" means both up and down
• Nods her head up and down to just about anything
• Points to her and our body parts with great understanding: hair, ears, nose, eyes, mouth
• Tells us when she wants to eat and brings us her bib on her way to the high chair. Proceeds to sit there for about a minute and take one bite and then says "up", which means "down"
• Has a favorite outfit that she carries around and brings to us to put it on her
• The other night before bed, ran into a wall. Full on just ran into the wall. 
• Figured out how to get the lid off her snack cup. Makes it pretty purposeless, really.
• Just tonight went c-r-a-z-y when a friend brought over a smiley face balloon for her to play with. I haven't seen her that excited in a while
• Crying when I leave the room. Or like tonight at a pizza place, crying when I went to the bathroom. I could hear her the entire time. Poor girl. That leads me to . . . 

Reflections on moms in general: I noticed something over Christmas - there's something about moms - we don't always need them around, but we always want them around. I saw this with Karis - she sure didn't need me or want me to hold her, but she wanted me in the room and to know that I was there. Then there was one afternoon that my mom was gone and it was just me, Karis and my dad at the house. We had a great time of course,  but I sensed that we were both thinking about mom, wondering if she was having a good time, wondering when she'd come back. One night at Trev's house after dinner his mom was upstairs - I marveled at how every single person there within not many minutes asked his dad, "Where's mom"?  There's just something about a mom's presence, I think. I sometimes still can't believe that I am a mom. I'm so thankful.

Just to show how few pictures I took over Christmas, these are some of the most interesting

Christmas day, digging around the fridge

Christmas Eve, eating at what's normally bedtime seems to produce funny faces

Rejoice

This is a week of celebration for our little family of 3. We received an incredible (to us) Christmas gift, a direct answer to prayer. You see, Karis had a plugged tear duct since birth - if you look closely in pictures, you can see that her left eye is often moist or weepy. Not a big deal, her pediatrician said it would probably clear up between 9 - 12 months. By Karis's 1 year check up her eye was weepy as ever and even got infected for the first time. So . . . off to the opthamologist we went, and she strongly recommended surgery. It was up to us, the biggest negative was having to put her "under" with anesthegia. While not a huge deal (I fully realize this is small potatoes compared to MANY health concerns other people face - but this was also just our reality), we really didn't want to do that and we started praying for healing (another huge topic that I won't get into here). 

Like I said, shortly after her check-up her eye got very infected. What I thought was pink eye was actually turning into something worse called periorbital cellulitis. I took her in to the doctor one day from a "mother's intuition" feeling, and the doctor didn't alarm us but was quite quick to give her a hefty antibiotic shot and wanted to see us right away the next day. Later I found out that many such cases end up needing to be hospitalized! We felt so blessed to have caught it early enough, and medicine cleared up the infection. As a side note, Karis was still so amazingly happy even though her eyes looked miserable, it reminded me of her deep joyful temperament and that she really doesn't complain much! As her eyes cleared up, it seemed that the weeping cleared up too. Finally, after about 4 weeks of her eye not weeping at all . . . we canceled the surgery. All this to say, the surgery was supposed to be today, December 16th. So, we had a par-tay! At YUM, of course. Karis got a bite of God's goodness in the form of a cookie. I can't wait to tell her one day how God cares about even our smallest concerns - yes, many people have it much worse, but He takes care of us always. He gave us all a tremendous gift in the unplugging of her tear duct, and we are rejoicing!

My prayer always is that when things happen (probably worse things) and we don't receive the healing that we pray for . . . that we will still celebrate the goodness that surrounds us and the gifts we enjoy every day. For today we're celebrating! I mean really, any excuse to go to YUM, right? My bro and his girlfriend M were able to join us, and we sneaked in a Christmas celebration as well, finishing the night watching The Family Stone (such a sad movie, but I can't help but love it - I think sad movies remind me to be thankful and remember all I have to be happy for). 

Karis gave us a gift this week as well. We went to her 15 month check-up and she is thriving beautifully (I feel like those check-ups are my "mom test", so I'm always grateful when they go well!). After talking to her pediatrician, I was affirmed that we could do a little bit of "sleep training" (since Karis had an ear infection a few weeks ago she got used to getting up several times a night). Anyways, this week she started sleeping all the way through the night and we're very thankful. Again, little things that mean so much. 

Bro, M & K post gift exchange. So cute. M has been a great gift to us this year as well! 

Loving her new book of nursery rhymes

Monkey-ing around any chance she gets

16 months?!?

I really don't know where to start (pattern of my life lately . . . do I do the laundry or write that card or just get on the floor and play?!?). Karis is 16 months old and is as "Karis Hilarious" as ever! Just today she was entertaining me by walking around with one of my t-shirts on her head - as in, covering her head, and she was loving walking around without really knowing where she was going. Slightly dangerous, this girl is fearless. What's prompting me to write today is her expanding vocabulary and her monkey antics - I want a place to write it down and feel like if I write in my journal these milestones will get lost in the pages.

• Just today she learned to say "bottle" and "baby" and seriously tried to say "belly button".
• Her favorite word is "hi". When we go anywhere - a coffee shop, the grocery store, a restaurant, church . . . - she says "hi!" to everyone who walks by. She wills them to look at her and to engage her. I've lost any hope of anonymity in public, I'm attached to a 100% extrovert.
• Her first pronounced name was "Lukas", however to us it sounds like "Deeee?" (really adorable inflection). Yup, that's Lukas. She loooovvveeees Lukas.
• "Dada" is also a favorite. Often her first word after waking up.
• One of her very first words was "bow-wow" - it's what I started calling our neighbors' dogs, and she quickly became obsessed with the "bow-wows" next door, to the point that many times we would leave the house and she'd look to their yard and say "bow-wow, bow-wow, bow-wow". Bow-bows are a big deal in Karis's life right now.
• "Nana" - when we pass the bananas in the grocery store Karis exclaims "nana".
• "Bye", "bu-ba" (name of my grandpa's dog), "nigh-nigh" (for "night-night")
• The one word we couldn't get her to say was "momma". We would go through the list of words and she'd repeat them back, but when we got to "momma": silence. Finally, she started saying "momma" just a few days ago.
• She tries to say "bumbo" as she climbs in and out of it.
• Karis also has this cute little "Uh?" noise that she makes basically every time she wants something. It's great. I'm enamored watching her comprehension and language development grow.

We've also enjoyed doing some signs, Karis can communicate: nursing, hi/bye, all done, please, more, nose, belly button, eat.

Words I have in my vocabulary to describe Karis are: vibrant, joyful, charismatic (her name seems to be a self-fulfilling prophecy), outgoing, fun-loving, curious, strong-willed, active, silly, welcoming, communicative. So many more, but these come to mind.

You all should know that we have a monkey. Her name is Karis. She loves to climb on, into, over, on top of, and through anything that she can find. Such as climbing in between table legs. Or climbing on to a full size rocker. Or climbing into her bumbo seat. Or under her high chair. Or up stairs (at a clipping pace). She can safely crawl off our furniture and bed. She can be a dancing maniac and we laugh so hard watching her shake her shoulders and stomp around to certain songs. Her favorite thing to do in her room is sit on a stool with a book in hand.

Karis is fiercely independent, and yet at times is getting more cuddly and content to sit in our laps. It's fascinating to watch her personality and preferences develop.

As a family, we're making some marvelous memories these days. We still frequent Sams Club, Caribou and Lucia's for "cheap" family dates, we enjoy time spent with our extended families both here and at their homes in NoDak. Last weekend was wonderful, we got snowed in on Saturday and I felt like "this is how it's supposed to be" - lots of time together, nowhere to go, not much to do, a warm and comfortable home. Life is too good and we're thankful.

In one week, I read in three different places the adage that "the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world". I'm often humbled and sometimes overwhelmed at the responsibility we've been given as parents - and then I'm reminded that Karis is God's child, He's entrusted her to us and He's made us the parents that she needs. And she is the child that we need! I'm constantly learning about myself, God, and Trevor as I learn more about Karis. The lessons are too numerous to list, which means I probably have plenty to write about . . . hopefully more later. I seem to enjoy the word "later" these days!

I'm reading some freaky books about raising girls: Bringing up Girls and Reviving Ophelia. Thankfully I'm also trying to do some Advent readings that help put some of the sorrowing realities of our world into perspective; I'm increasingly aware of the need for a Savior. What a beautiful and reflective time of the year, we have much to celebrate.

Taken a couple months ago . . . I find their expressions to be amusing

Monkey

Monkey and bow-wow

Again, a couple months ago. One of her favorite activities is taking clean laundry

out of the basket and playing with the items

The Babe and her Birthday Bashes

Well, the aforementioned chocolate cake was consumed by many party go-ers, because party we did for Karis’s first birthday. We partied and partied and partied and partied. Literally. So much fun was had celebrating and we surely kept the tradition of month-long birthday festivities.

The first party: A doting mother and father, 2 grandparents, a great aunt and uncle (the uncle is Karis’s “b-day buddy”, she was born on his birthday!), 2 great-grandparents, a delicious meal, the chocolate cake, a John Deere tractor, and lots of laughs.

The second party (on her actual birthday): A doting mother and father, 1 chocolate cupcake at YUM Bakery, another one-year old at a neighboring table that was more interesting and received more attention than than the cupcake.

The third party:A doting mother and father, 5 adult friends, 4 babies, tacos, more chocolate cake, the John Deere tractor, a new toy phone, and more laughs.

The fourth party: A doting mother and father, 2 more grandparents, a (toy) cell phone just for Karis, a trip to Hudson and Stillwater, a prime rib buffet at a nice hotel, laying on the hotel bed watching TV and crawling around on the comfy covers and pillows.

The fifth party: A doting mother and father, an uncle, Karis’s first taste of spaghetti, a bottle of wine (for the adults, of course).

The sixth party: A doting mother and father, 2 grandparents, 4 more great-great grandparents, second cousins, great aunts and uncles, a valley view of Bismarck, more fun toys and a special quilt.

I have to say, I don’t think Karis is even partied out and could probably handle another bash or two.

We definitely have a one year old. In fact, on the anniversary of her technical “due date”, she took her first steps . . . right into her dad’s arms. Deep contented sigh. We are having a blast watching Karis come into her own - lately she loves to have anything on her head. She pulls towels out of drawers and drapes them on her head. Finds washcloths on the floor and puts them on her head. Tries to put books on her head. For about a week she was attached to a little plastic cow that goes with her tractor. Does anyone wonder why we call her “Karis hilarious”? She brings such joy wherever we go, it’s an honor to watch people react to her smile and I can’t count the number of times I hear random people say to Karis, “You just made my day”. What a little gift she is.

In random mom news: this morning I took Karis to the nursery at church. A dear woman that I know and love was manning the room and came up to me, looked in the general area of my midsection and said, “Oh, I didn’t know you were expecting!”. To which I, as graciously as possible, said, “I’m not!” and launched into an explanation of how I’ve definitely kept my nursing ‘ponch’ and tried to make it seem like no big deal. And it’s not really a big deal, but STILL, REALLY? I guess I’ll put this shirt back in the closet (hoping that the bulky shirt is party to blame). Oy. That and maybe start pilates? No, not going to start pilates, thank you very much. Wear control-top pants, maybe? Improve my posture? Wear a shirt that says “No, I’m not so please don’t ask”? I’m open to suggestions. One good thing that comes out of such comments is that they prompt me to write, so thank you nice nursery worker woman for pointing out my ponch so that I would finally update this blog. =)

Such comments tend to coincide with days that Trevor and I get a date (which we did today, so nice - but poor guy had to listen to me drone on about the morning's comment. I'm over it, really I am. A post to come on a date occurrence that helped me get over it). I can be thankful for a dear and sensitive husband who lets me be me - it’s been the greatest joy to watch Trevor love Karis, she adores her daddy and so do I. I’m relishing the rhythms of routine the three of us are falling into, from morning songs to post-dinner clean up to walks to before bed reading to Sunday night ice cream cones at McD’s. Where did the year go?

I felt that funny "is this real" sensation as I walked into a local grocery store to order a cake today. Not just any cake, I ordered a cake for my almost-one-year-old-daughter's birthday. What? When did Karis get to be a year old?!?

You may ask why I ordered one (I don't recall ever having ordered a cake before! Well, I guess I kind of helped order one for my graduation and wedding). Because this cake is complementary (i.e. free), that's why! All the better for Karis to rip into it, right? We plan on having several small celebrations for her and we feel so blessed to have family coming to town both right before and then right after her actual birthday. Birthdays are a big deal, after all!

Well, back to the cake. I will admit that I love being out and about with Karis, and this outing was simply special and one that I'll always remember. Karis just loves sitting in shopping carts, so in she went and smiled the whole way back to the bakery. I kept telling her we were going to order her birthday cake, and I even got her a Caribou coffee to commemorate the celebration. Karis, being the generous girl she is, shared her decaf with me. Karis waved to & charmed anyone who looked her way, and I was ever the proud momma of this captivating little character. We ordered the cake (chocolate with chocolate frosting, in case you were wondering) and I wheeled the birthday girl out to the parking lot, where we met an especially friendly "mature" woman - she stopped us in the parking lot and as Karis waved and giggled, told me to enjoy her. I said that I enjoy her every single day. She told me that she has three grown boys, and that when they were little she "left everything and played." I told her that's what I'm trying to do.

Actually, her reminder was a good affirmation because I've been thinking about that idea lately as I look at all the evidence that I am "leaving it all to play": withering tomato plants, sadly uncreative meal repertoire, dirty floors, belated birthday cards, and on and on. To be honest, I feel really good about all those really slacking things - not all the time, of course, but increasingly more of the time - because really, isn't it more fun to roll on the floor and cuddle and read board books and stroll around the neighborhood? Yes, it's not only more fun, but it's infinitely more important. Yes, I realize my life is really, really, really good. I mean, ridiculously so.

We're loving the summer months and all they've held, including our first family-of-three vacation to Charlottesville, VA where Trev was best man in his best friend's wedding. We had a blast celebrating and being back in the state where we lived the first two years of our marriage. There's something powerful about witnessing a wedding, especially when your husband is at the front of the church in a tux - brought back many memories of reciting our own vows oh so many years ago. Well, not really that many, but still. Anyways, this wedding was uber classy, I felt fully fancy reveling in hor deurves and brunch and reception and dance at a country club in what felt like the middle of the blue ridge mountains. The bride and groom were the classiest part of the whole event and made the day a tastefully opulent occasion for all their guests. Trev, Karis and I enjoyed our Saturday evening with ice cream and a stroll around part of the UVA campus at sunset. Sigh, so beautiful. Can we go back?

Karis has had many adventures during her first year, it's exciting to think of what year number two will hold.

Speaking of Karis, if you'll excuse me now, I have some playing to get back to . . .

Karis with her best-man daddy

Reading King Lear on a youth group picnic - those girls are such a good influence!

Play buddies

The demise of the blog

You know you haven't blogged in a looonnnnggggggg time when you have to pause to remember how to log in to your blogger account.

The demise of the blog was perpetuated by:

• Having a lot of fun traveling: we went to Jamestown to celebrate the wedding of a dear friend, and then went straight to a lake in MN to spend time with family. Karis was hilarious on the boat and in her lifejacket, and she also really started crawling that weekend.
• Having a lot of fun celebrating: there's always something to celebrate, it seems. Father's Day, 80's themed b-day parties (picture below), early celebrations for Trevor's birthday, celebrating July 4th here with family.
• Having a lot of fun with company: We were blessed to have some of our best friends come up from IN to stay with us in June - our girls met for the first time, and wow did we all have fun together. We considered holding them hostage in our basement, but we bid them a sad adieu and hope to have more fun times like that in the future. My family was here this past week (including my great grandparents!) and they played like crazy with Karis, chasing her around and getting her to giggle.
• Having a lot of fun watching Karis reach milestones: she started crawling about a month ago, and I swear she moves faster every day. She loves to be mobile, to explore, to be independent (hmmmm, she sounds like her mom). She now has two teeth, waves, pulls up on everything, and we're waiting for when her "da da da" sounds have meaning. She can now go to bed without her mom (sniff sniff, I thought I wanted that independence and now that I have it I'm a bit sad), she's eating real food like crazy, and her new favorite thing is opening cupboards and climbing on her friends' carseats. She's still the most smiley and joyful little thing and I truly love being her mom.
• Having a lot of fun at a women's retreat: where I felt very challenged to start journaling the old-fashioned way. Which I have been doing and really loving. And thus the demise of the blog.

Side note: I started writing this on Tuesday. It's Thursday now. I am just going to post, as incomplete as it feels!

The lifejacket completely relaxed Karis (and trust me, she is rarely relaxed). Maybe I need to keep one around the house?

On our way to the 80's party . . .

first time leaving Karis at night and having someone else put her to bed!

The success made me both happy and sad.

A fabulous Father's Day bbq with dear friends (our daughters are the best of friends already)

I have this very strong affinity for talk radio, and I think Karis likes it too - she must wonder where the people are whose voices she can hear from this little box

Mother's Day

What a gift to be celebrating Mother's Day today . . . I'm in awe to look at Karis and to know what a gift she is to our lives. I've found it continually humbling to be mother to this dear child who brings such joy to many lives. As my mom says often, "Karis is such a gift", and indeed she is. Trevor and I have opportunities to laugh every day at her squeals and kicks, her babbles and movements. Karis has a deep joy and a quick smile for anyone who will look her way. I feel humbled and blessed to be parenting along-side Trevor, and he's made this Mother's Day celebration all the more special with lots of quality time together, tulips, a card and

I read something yesterday in a book I'm reading called Tending the Heart of Virtue: How Classic Stories Awaken a Child's Moral Imagination. It's a quote from The Brothers Karamazov:

"You must know that there is nothing higher, or stronger, or sounder, or more useful afterwards in life, than some good memory, especially a memory from childhood, from the parental home. You hear a lot said about your education, yet some such beautiful, sacred memory, preserved from childhood, is perhaps the best education. If a [person] stores such memories to take into life, then they are saved for their whole life. And even if only one good memory remains with us in our hearts, that alone may serve one day for our salvation . . . "

This quote rings so true in my heart, I just LOVE memories. I love to reminisce, a productive pastime instilled to me by my parents who are so good to recall good times we've had. And wow did my parents gift me with countless amazing memories (and still do, thank you mom and dad). As I think about motherhood, it is such a desire of my heart to give Karis and any children a treasure trove of sweet memories that will last them a lifetime.

A memory that I want to always recall from this Mother's Day (I don't suppose Karis will remember it, so maybe she can read about it one day . . .). I ran errands alone yesterday and enjoyed listening to the radio station "the Current". This song came on that at first I thought was really silly and not my "type" of music, but for some reason I didn't change the dial. By the end of the song, I was obsessed. I mean, just loved it (this happens to me often, I instantly like something then can't get enough of it . . . songs, books, movies, food, clothes, routines, anything). So this morning I found it online while feeding Karis her yummy mixture of oatmeal, avocado and yogurt (yummmm, right?). Having ingested a bit of caffeine, I went a little crazy dancing in between spoon feeding her bites - to me it's already a precious memory, sharing joy together while Trevor (not yet caffeinated) watched and smiled. Trevor had heard the song on the radio before, which made me feel so wonderfully understood in my obsession. You want to hear the song? It's called "That's not my name" by the Ting Tings. You can google it and try to listen to it on "www.ilike.com"Give it a couple tries, I think you'll like it. So yeah, this first Mother's Day is marked by laughing and dancing in the kitchen before church. Life is good.

Another memory that came to mind was Mother's Day of my freshman year. My family went to the local Country Club for a beautiful brunch, and who would be there but . . . Trevor Pope. I ran into him in the buffet line and he said, "Hey Pandolfo". I introduced him to my family, and that was that. We came to find a couple years later that he called me Pandolfo (my maiden name) because he didn't know my first name. HA.

Insert deep, contented sigh.

And also, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to my amazing mom - I want to be more like you, mom. Your selflessness and humility and humor and compassion and generosity and beauty are beyond words.

And HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to my marvelous mother-in-law. It's such a gift to be part of your family, thank you for making me your daughter! AND, thank you especially for raising such an amazing son who is such a gift to me in marriage.

And as always, so many people come to mind this day to whom maybe Mother's Day is painful. Those who have lost mothers, who have unfortunate relationships with their mothers, who desire to be a mother but for one reason or another aren't able to be. There are so many dear women with mother's hearts who are mother's in their own ways who I think should be celebrated this day as well.

One more memory to add to this day . . . we are ending it with something we've never really done before (maybe because we shouldn't be doing it?): watching a Disney movie with Karis. She's propped up on the couch between us, happily chewing on her teething ring and laughing away (well, more like fake coughing once in a while). We're pretty much loving life.